To think having a professional bridesmaid is sad

[tinyme77]

There was a lady on woman's hour this morning talking about her job as a professional bridesmaid. On some jobs they would create a back story so people would think that she was an old friend. She helps them prepare and attends the big day as their chief bridesmaid. The current bride wants her to become a brunette (she is blonde) so that she matches for the photos. All for Instagram. The world has gone mad.

There's no need these days for a bridesmaid. Sadly, due to bridezillas who expect bridesmaids to fork out for dresses and shoes she chooses, hairstyle and makeup she chooses and wants them to have professionally done, big hen do/multiple do's, accommodation in expensive places, telling them to hand her money as a gift, that a lot of people decline the invitation to be one or have to pull out.

If you think this is odd, did anyone read the BBC longpiece article on buying in a fake dad? www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/stories-46261699

I didn't have a bridesmaid. Didn't know it was compulsory. I had a bit of help on the day with my dress from my DM and DS (and DM helped me choose it) but that was all. No hen night either - just a few after work drinks with colleagues on my last day in. Not a big one for fuss.

I think it’s sadder that you’d judge them tbh. You don’t know people’s back story. I had mh problems, was bullied at school, went through an abusive relationship etc so I don’t have many close friends. I’m also really paranoid about appearing like a friendless loser. Not so much these days but when I was in my 20s, it would have bothered me that people thought I had no friends.

bit cruel to call people sad when you don’t know what they’ve been through. Unless you think people who have been bullied, have mh probs and had abusive relationships are ‘sad’.

If you think this is odd, did anyone read the BBC longpiece article on buying in a fake dad?

That poor little girl :( Her mother would have been better spending her money on therapy, not an actor.

Is she mainly hired by people who have no real support and friends or by people who want someone to look good in the photos and do lots of running around and as they're told because their hired help goddam it and you'll dye your hair so you match the photos because I said so?

If you think this is odd, did anyone read the BBC longpiece article on buying in a fake dad?
Eh??

Yes that was a really sad article:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-46261699

I think it's a bit sad but I can't find it within me to judge people who feel they have no choice but to hire them.

I can see why people would hire them, I was bullied at school and didn’t have many good friends, the friends I did have moved away and I moved to the other end of the country with my job so we lost contact.

DH on the other hand has a large group of close friends, one of whom kept going on at me to have a hen night and have bridesmaids etc, and I was too embarrassed to say I didn’t have any friends to ask, so I just made out that I don’t like hen nights and I didn’t want bridesmaids but she kept pushing, and if I’d been a less strong person I probably would’ve hired a bridesmaid to keep up appearances. In the end I just told her I wasn’t discussing it any further.

No judgment from me if that's what works for some people. However, I wouldn't want the professional in my wedding photos, as they are not a friend or family, so that would be awkward!!

Fair enough, if you don't have anyone capable of filling that position, or you don't want to put that pressure on somebody.

It's not bridezilla behaviour if you have hired a professional and ask them to dye their hair. You say "would you be prepared to go Brunette with a wash-out dye for an extra £80?" or something similar. It's a service being provided, and it's not an unreasonable request for the BM to fulfill if she's amenable.

The pretending is a little bit strange, but whatever makes her happy tbh.

If it takes off the pressure for the bride, why not. It does sound a bit odd, but some people need a handhold in life for everything, it's great the service exists.

Do you mean sad in the sense that you're upset about the pressure and resulting bizarre behaviour? Or are you just sneering at young people doing something you don't understand?