Is this normal (school run)?

[skipskipslipped]

Is it normal not to have one single friend from the school run? I do it every day and barely a soul speaks to me. I have one child who started in September who's in a small class so it's not like the playground is so busy that I don't get noticed, just no one says hi or even smiles at me. Do I just suck it up?

Think yourself lucky! School gate friendships can be two faced nightmares! Best keep yourself to yourself for an easy life

I actually posted a thread once not about this but when I told people I hadnt made any friends at my childrens school and they hadnt been invited to any parties I got told how unusual it was! it was “concerning”
apparently MN for you. That they must all be having parties and excluded my children etc, I think some schools are just not as friendly as others. Even since my youngest started reception this year and its been the same thing, my sons reception class had a christmas party and parents were invited and not one parent spoke to each other, I have 3 at the school and havent made any friends, there is no one I talk to. I was
told I would make loads of friends when my children start school but that really hasnt been the case.

I bet if you look hard enough there'll be another mum on her own too, maybe she is thinking the same thing. Just start up a conversation, you might be surprised.

I may going to get slammed for saying this, but I've lived in various parts of the country over the years and IME people in some parts are definitely more reserved/less friendly towards people they don't know. I realise it's a generalisation, but I think it holds true more often than people like to admit. OP, without being nosy and asking where you live, would you say people are reserved in general about talking to others where you are, or is this specifically a school run issue?

I've been on the playground for 7 years and finally found a friend. He was on his own, so was I and our DSs got on so he offered me a coffee and we joined forces. Plus, it gets tongues wagging which is faintly amusing.

I found with DS1 all the parents were really friendly and wanted make friends. Some are still my friends now. (And a lot of us had babies that year, which broke the ice)

Ds2 they were a it harder. A lot of parents had been to secondary school together and were already in close-knit friendship groups. Though they were all friendly enough and would smile back or discuss school stuff.

Ds3 was the year of babies from DS1. So a few of us knew each other well. The others were really stand-offish and there are a lot of children whose parents you never meet because they are always working.

DD. It's like being back with Ds1. Lovely bunch of people who I can see myself wanting to be friends for life with.

So, I don't think there's a normal. But make an effort. Chat to those who smile back, make small talk. Go to PTA events, fundraisers, assemblies. And if it's a small school, meet parents from other years.

This was my 2 older dc when we lived in East Anglia. Were there for 12 years and weren't considered as one of them, it was awful in the playground.
Moved back up North when older dc were Primary and have never looked back.
Made friends quickly and everyone would speak in playground and were friendly, even if rushing to work.
A smile and hello, doesn't cost anything.

As lots of PP have said... do you say hello? You have to walk up to people and say hi, freezing isn’t it. Or other random chit chat.

No idea what it normal but this is my experience:
would not say I have made friends at the school run (we don't meet outside school) but there are mums/dads I always chat to in front of DC2's classroom. We are really friendly with each other.

In contrast, DC1 is in Y6 and parents avoid me like the plague and make a real effort not talking to me. DC1 has severe LD and ASD so I always wonder if people are worried they could catch something off me or DC1. this doesn't bother me in the least but I do find it weird.

It can take awhile. I would have a chat with DDs BF mum and a few single souls but the groups i just say hi.
Just stay clear of the groups.
It is still early days if p1. The few I do chat too are all from DDs class and it has been 5 years since she started now.

It's taken me the best part of a year to have more than nodding acquaintances at the school gate to be honest (we moved into quite a close knit group who knew each other from preschool etc). One year group was really really bad (but the ringleader mum's just moved her child's school - which I'm quite overjoyed about as she'd caused a lot of problems on the playground) but over time it really does start to break down.

I drop child off by car and then drive off. I smile and say hello if anyone else around and if there is a coffee morning at school I try to go if not working and then will chat to other friendly parents but they are not my friends. I have made friends with other parents who stay and watch our children play cricket together or swim together. Cricket matches go on for hours so more time for social chit chat plus I often man the bar-b-que.

Normal for me - I gave up smiling and saying hello - say hi to few parents now but no "friends". Not bothered if I am honest - I don't really fit in anyway, much older than most parents and don't drive a fancy car with illegal number plates :)

Do you want to make friends with other parents.

If yes, smile and say hello. If you don't get a response, then try other parents.

I had no interest or need to make friends with parents from school, so I may smile back at you, but probably wouldn't engage more than that.

I work full time, so when I did the school run, I didn't have time to stand chatting. I also have a decent circle of friends, so didn't need new friends.

I know the parents of my DS's 2 closest friends quite well, but don't socialise with them.

I would just pick one at a time to go and chat to and see whether you like anyone of them. I’m doing this at the moment! Started in September too and no real friends yet. I’m treating it as fun though and I’ll pick a new one to introduce myself too next week.

I need to drop and run. I'm friendly with the parents, in the group chat but can't hand around to chat in the mornings.

Same here op. I try and smile and seem friendly, occasionally strike up a conversation. But nothing more.
And my DD (reception) hasn't been invited to any parties, I feel like maybe because people don't know us.

Is there a park you can go to on the way home? That's how I chat to many school mums, plus kids birthday parties. I don't have a huge amount of friends at school (2 if I'm honest) but I make small talk with lots of the mums and am slowly intergrating myself.
I don't do drop offs and only moved to the area a year ago so I struggle. My son turned 5 early on so I threw a party and invited all the kids- that helped

I probably don’t come across friendly. If someone smiles at me il smile back BUT I’m not bothered about standing in the play ground making small talk about stuff I really don’t care about. I have friends already, if I make another one then that’s nice but if I don’t then I don’t care.
I feel comfortable stood in the play ground next to people and not chatting, I know others don’t and that’s their issue not mine.

How's it been op?

My DD started Reception in September too. The school run parents do seem like a friendly lot. Everyone has a nice chat while we're waiting for the DC to go in/come out but I wouldn't say we're "friends". More just friendly. There's a Facebook group but we really only use it to discuss school related, practical stuff.

I'm not bothered to be honest. I'm on Maternity leave at the moment but once I go back to work I won't be doing the school run very often and when I do I won't have time to hang around and chat. A lot of parents do have to 'drop and go' due to work so I'm sure they're not avoiding you or being deliberately stand-offish.

This is me. I’m a ptfa mum and even they don’t really acknowledge me!
I think I just have massive “fuck off” barriers up and I’m not good socially. I’m better in my own little world and tbh I prefer it, but it gets lonely sometimes....

Nobody ever spoke to me on school runs but, equally, I didn't need that either. Had to run to work! If you crave a little bit of a chat, why not initiative the conversation yourself?

I'm a drop off and go mom too and never had a 'friend' on the school run for all the 6yrs of primary school. I simply have no time or use for chatting with other moms on the playground.

I give a big smile and hi though - and walk away very quickly before someone tries to talk to me

I invite and see them at my kids birthday parties though and the kids have loads of friends so, no harm done :-)