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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please help me snap out of my mood

2 replies

SadMummy231 · 10/01/2019 10:53

I had an argument with my husband this morning. For context I struggled a lot with breastfeeding from the start and used mostly formula - it took me a long time to accept I wasn't going to ebf and it's a sensitive subject for me. At 8 months DS suddenly started to enjoy breastfeeding. It's never clear to me though how much he is taking in, it mostly seems to be about enjoyment and comfort rather than hunger.

DS is now 18m and we're still going and I feed him through the night (separate issue!). After breakfast I breastfed him in the morning and husband came in to say he'd prepare some milk for him. I said conversationally that I'd been feeding him all morning, and he said "that doesn't mean he got anything". I found this remark cut me really deeply. And when he saw how upset I was, rather than reassure me, he tried to defend himself by saying that DS was thirsty, that feeding him through the night was more about comfort, and he always downed bottles in the morning, and I shouldn't deny him a drink (I don't!)

DH is mostly great, but occasionally comes out with remarks like this and I just feel full of so much hate towards him. A few months ago I'd been happily feeding DS, and husband came in with a bottle, teasing it in front of DS, and lured him away from me so he could feed him. Given the number of times in the first few months when DS screamed at my breast but happily took to bottles and formula, it really felt like a betrayal of husband.

Husband has gone to work now. I feel so gloomy and DS wants smiles and to play with me and I'm struggling. AIBU? I really need someone to please snap me out of my mood so I can get on with my day and spend some proper time with him.

OP posts:
Babyblade · 10/01/2019 11:43

Blokes tend to see a "problem" and offer a solution and think that is being supportive.

IMO you need to wean DS off the overnight feeding. Then you should be able to get some sleep and in turn you'll feel better and more resilient.

As for today - pop DS in a buggy and go for a walk, get out of the house. It's a bit "old school" but should help you feel better. Good luck!

RedOrange21 · 10/01/2019 12:18

To be fair you said yourself in your OP that you weren't sure how much he gets from you; your husband has probably heard you say this and didn't actually say anything different. However, the teasing with the bottle thing is not on. I also had massive issues with breastfeeding and this would have really annoyed me. I agree though at 18 months you shouldn't need to be feeding throughout the night - I would consider whether you are ready to night with. Proper sleep off you and your child will help.

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