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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend assaulted by her exdp

9 replies

Worriedaboutfriend87 · 10/01/2019 10:00

I don't want to go into too much detail, just need some quick advice.

Df was attacked yesterday for the second time by her exdp and dds father, shes ended up needing stitches.
He was arrested last night and is still at the police station due to be released today and she is terrified he will kill her.
The police have said they are going to fit an alarm in her house and thats pretty much it.
I've suggested trying to move but that's no quick solution, he knows where her family lives and where she works also where her dd goes to school.
What else can she do?

OP posts:
littlepotatoes · 10/01/2019 10:01

Change the locks? Restraining order?

Worriedaboutfriend87 · 10/01/2019 10:03

He kicked the door off it's hinges so a new door is needed anyway and sadly I don't think he would care about a restraining order.

OP posts:
badirene · 10/01/2019 10:13

Contact Women's Aid they might have people there to offer practical advice for keeping her and DC safe.

badirene · 10/01/2019 10:16

Sorry posted too soon.

There website suggests things like avoiding staying home alone, and vary your daily routine -- change your commute to work, and don't frequent the same bank or supermarket too often

Let DC teachers know who is authorised to pick up your DC from school

Let supervisor at work know about situation, and arrange protective measures there, too. This may include not going to lunch alone, asking a colleague to walk with you to the car or bus stop. You may also give your supervisor a photo of the abuser in case of a confrontation at work.

powellcanada · 10/01/2019 10:30

Try to apply to private security to protect yourself if you plan to move, and you need time. If not, try to buy a shocker, put up strong doors, so doors takes time and it help the police arrive in time, and try to talk to your neighbors, maybe they can help you when you are not at home.
Richard Powell from playcasinocanada.com.

TheMaddHugger · 10/01/2019 10:34

where do you live where the cops put in an alarm for you.

(((Hug))) for your friend

Worriedaboutfriend87 · 10/01/2019 10:37

Thank you I'll suggest woman's aid to her.
@TheMaddHugger she lives in London, it's an alarm that goes straight to the police station when pressed.

OP posts:
MrsTommyBanks · 10/01/2019 10:41

I had an alarm at one point.
Victim support will be able to come out and assess her home and advise on making it more secure. Maybe look into getting a security door fitted over her front door.
Definately contact Women's Aid.
Get a non molestation order. They carry a power of arrest which in turn leads to jail time. Might deter him more than a restraint order.
I hope your friend stays safe.

TheMaddHugger · 10/01/2019 10:58

@Worriedaboutfriend87 . Ok. I hadn't know that. Thanks🌺

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