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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have completely lost my rag over this?

79 replies

Wberryg · 10/01/2019 08:27

Posted recently abput an incident we had at home where it seems like builders have nicked 2 of our Christmas presents (I've now discovered another 2 smaller items also missing but that's by the by).

I have advised my insurers no one is coming here (builders were finishing off insurance works and hired by them) unless I am here to supervise, no response on that yet.

So we have 2 front door keys. Ours is type that only locks with a key. We don't have a letterbox so overnight we lock door and leave key in lock.

So today I know I will be back last and am leaving with DC2 (who is home first). So I give a key to DC1, unlock door and leave key from door on stairs for DC2.

I go outside to scrape frost off my car.DC2 goes back in to put something indoors, i tell him to lock door, and I then drive him to the station to get a train to school.

10 mins later call from DC1. Have to pull over to take call. Can't find key. Not on stairs. DC2 is called and says he only has the other key.

One key is on a key ring (the one left at home) the other isn't so they are distinguishable.

DC1 suggests maybe I didn't leave it and I'm mistaken...at which I completely lost ky shit with them both. I have so much on my plate all the time stuff like this just tips me over the edge.

How the fuck can the key have disappeared in the space of 10 mins

I am now waiting for DC2 to return, and as a result I'll be late for work and have to attend a review meeting...joy!

So was I BU to be so annoyed? And any ideas where this sodding key is???

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/01/2019 11:18

You need t do these things OP

  1. Take a deep breath
  2. Get the locks changed
  3. Make sure everyone has a key for the new locks, plus a spare kept safe in the house somewhere
  4. Put yet another key in the key safe
  5. Change the combination on the key safe
  6. Drop your shoulders and relax
Bahhhhhumbug · 10/01/2019 11:29

You say no o e could possibly have walked in the unlocked door and stolen the key as you were outside but then you said you had to pull over to take the call so you must've driven away so someone could've nipped in and taken it.
Also as a mother of two teenagers at one time l remember all too well the lengths they would go to get each other in trouble or blamed if they felt one was being treated unfairly, teenagers have a strong sense of injustice sometimes. Could it be one DS was trying cause trouble for the other by whipping the key?

wowfudge · 10/01/2019 11:30

While I appreciate things are stressful for you and that it must be really uncomfortable to find someone you have trusted to be in your house has stolen from you, I think you are adding to that stress by being 'controller of the keys'. I had a front door key at 7 and your children are old enough to each have their own key and be responsible for them. Change the locks and have a key per member of the family and a spare that stays in an allotted place in the house or the lock at night time.

Original poster
Wberryg · 10/01/2019 11:59

I will look into the smart lock I've never heard of one of those.

My DC lost keys previously and I have had to change the locks before. The last time was about 3 years ago - I probably should have more faith in them now but when stuff like this happens and things just disappear it's hard to do so.

I meant that no one could have got in while I was outside the house. If DC2 is telling the truth the key wasn't on the stairs when he went inside.

If he was mistaken and it was there could someone have got in after we left and DC1 cane downstairs and saw there was no key? Well if DC2 had locked the door I'd say definitely not. He didnt lock it but he did close it, and from the outside it can't easily be opened without a key (although it can be done) so it's not like someone could walk straight in.

I feel quite overburdened much of the time. Things like this just overwhelm me because it's all my job. It's my job to know where the keys are at all times. My job to explain to his school why DC2 was late for school, my job to know where everything is at all times. Sometimes it just gets too much.

OP posts:
TotHappy · 10/01/2019 12:20

Poor you, it's probably harder because she isn't there so you really do feel all alone. Should've prob made dc1 miss whatever they were doing though.
When you get new keys may I suggest a spare, one each AND a hidden one that only you know about... Kids are buggers for misplacing their keys, taking the spare and then potentially losing that.

TotHappy · 10/01/2019 12:21

Dh not she

BitOutOfPractice · 10/01/2019 14:48

Hey op I think we all feel like that sometimes and I think “overburdened” is a great word to describe it.

I hope your day improved and you get to the bottom of key gate

AutumnCrow · 10/01/2019 16:37

Ok I get it now Flowers . You feel and are overburdened. Everything falls to you, everything becomes your problem, your DP works away and your teenagers don't particularly give a fuck?

Yet if you lost your job you'd all be in shit street?

Has someone blamed you for the missing presents in any way, even subtle style?

Original poster
Wberryg · 10/01/2019 17:12

DC1 was going to work and due in before me (and was also late due to key but only a few mins). So it had to be me that stayed.

No one has blamed me for the loss of the Christmas gifts but I blame myself. Originally I said no one was to come and work here without me but the work has gone on so long I couldn't always be there.

OP posts:
Thewifipasswordis · 10/01/2019 17:16

Erm why dont 16 and 18yr olds have their own set of keys? Confused

Bluntness100 · 10/01/2019 17:21

It's highly unlikely anyone walked in and took the key in that short window of opportunity. And keys don't just disappear.

So either you left it someplace else or forgot to put it down, not thinking or your son picked it up not thinking. It's the only two plausible explanations.

Original poster
Wberryg · 10/01/2019 17:31

One broke their key. Previously they have lost multiple keys resulting in the locks being changed. They had a key each today effectively but still lost one.

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 10/01/2019 17:31

So if DC 2 was telling the truth, the key wasn't there?
But you said DC2 didn't notice it because he had no idea it was there.

Bahhhhhumbug · 10/01/2019 17:33

sorry posted too soon... not noticing something small that you have no idea is there is very different t from stati g something definitely wasn't there.

Bahhhhhumbug · 10/01/2019 17:34

stating

ChariotsofFish · 10/01/2019 17:43

I’d say the combination of these stories suggests there are more possible explanations than the builder stealing. The obvious one is a sneak thief who discovered your front door unlocked previously and tried again today, to be rewarded with a key. Or one of your kids is quite seriously unreliable. Or you are under so much pressure that your stress is causing you to forget what you’ve actually done with things.

AutumnCrow · 10/01/2019 21:38

I would prioritise the lock change, for sure.

If no-one mentioned the missing Xmas gifts, why on earth do you blame yourself??

Original poster
Wberryg · 10/01/2019 22:29

Well we have an answer for the key. DC2 had it. He thinks he must have picked it up before he came outside. So when he went back indoors he didn't see it because he already had it. Plus the other key I'd given him.

DC1 has now put key A on their car keyring. Key B is currently in the door and DC1 will take it tomorrow.

Hopefully we can get the locks changed on our insurance for £25, I need to contact them in the morning.

I'm glad that mystery has been resolved but I'm still really annoyed about the stuff that's been stolen from the house. Before anyone asks I am sure it's not been moved by DC2. Not least because I completely tidied his room on Saturday, after everything went missing and none of it was in there. I've also checked everywhere else in the house - one item was plugged in so definitely wouldn't have been moved by any of us.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wberryg · 10/01/2019 22:30

Sorry DC2 will take key B tomorrow.

Once we have the locks changed I will make sure we have at least 4 keys.

OP posts:
bookmum08 · 11/01/2019 07:53

DC2 needs to be your personal servant this weekend and pamper you to the max!
Glad the key turned up.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/01/2019 07:58

Do you need the locks changed now you’ve found it?

wowfudge · 11/01/2019 08:03

OP your kids are old enough to be responsible for tidying and cleaning their own rooms. Stop doing jobs you don't need to!

MinorRSole · 11/01/2019 08:14

Glad you found the key! Did I read correctly that you think builders working on your house stole a popcorn maker and toothbrush?

anniehm · 11/01/2019 08:21

I can't help this situation but I suggest each person (old enjoy be home alone) has a set of keys which they take responsibility for plus we have a spare set for builders, visitors etc.

glamorousgrandmother · 11/01/2019 08:41

Re builders taking things. I know someone who had a builder in some years ago and a frozen duck went missing out of the freezer. People take weird things.