WWYD? This is a difficult one

[Thelonewolf]

My ex had arranged for our children to meet his new GF, fine although I wasn’t consulted (we agreed we’d tell the other out of courtesy if we were planning on introducing them to a new partner).
However my mum died very suddenly Saturday morning and I personally don’t agree with them meeting his GF until they’ve had time to grieve - I know I have no say on who he introduces them to and when but I would’ve thought he would put them first!
He doesn’t, he thinks this should have no effect on “his” life and how dare I interfere, and is pushing them to meet her ASAP 🤷🏻‍♀️
Would the distraction help or is their Grandmother’s death more than enough to deal with?

I don't think its a difficult one. If they were both 3 then yes it would be fine but I suspect that this is the 7 year olds first experience of losing a close relation. Added to the fact it was unexpected and unprepared for then expecting him to meet a new partner is just not considering his feelings at all.

He will then no doubt be pissed off that his son was sad when they met his new partner and that's going to impact the poor boy even more. I don't see why the girlfriend would be even remotely happy with meeting the children at such a difficult time in their lives.

I think she is aware as Saturday’s meeting as far as I can tell didn’t go ahead- unless he told our son to lie.
What he said to her, I have absolutely no idea!

An ex-colleague is also very good friends with said GF should I contact her, although it’s not fair on her to be dragged into this!

Should I send her that text from him?

No. Absolutely don't send her texts between you and the ex. In fact I wouldn't contact her.

You've spoken to the ex regarding his contact time - as much as its hard it is his choice what he does in that time.

That doesn't mean you have to like it at all.

Continue to be there to support your children before and after the contact time.

So sorry for your loss

I'm sorry for your loss OP but actually I think it might be good for the DC to be distracted with their dad this weekend.

I would welcome my DC having a weekend away from a 'grieving house' as it were and I'm sure your ex and his Gf will be sensitive

They are with me this weekend anyhow!

They were with their Dad last weekend and with me until Monday.

You poor thing, and your poor little children. Of course he is being totally and utterly unreasonable and self centred. However, any protest you make is going to come out as if you are jealous/bitter/controlling etc. which in the long run will make things worse. If I were you I would bite my tongue, let it happen, then make sure you let the kids talk about it on their return, and try and make things as easy as possible for them. The only thing you really have control over in this situation is the effect his decision will have on them, and they should feel that they can express any sadness and confusion they will inevitably feel to the people around them. But avoid becoming the bad guy in all this, they have to learn the hard lesson that you and your ex are separate entities now.

I see why you're concerned, but actually kids just keep getting on with life amidst grief. I don't think it will harm them to do it now.

Sorry for your loss

Thing is I don’t think he’d have mentioned their Grandmother’s death to her at all, he was planning on carrying on as if nothing had happened!