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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have bought clothes for a baby I might never have?

17 replies

JaiNotJay · 09/01/2019 20:00

My DP and I just decided over Christmas to go ahead and try to conceive. I'm 38 and we'll need fertility treatment, so success is by no means guaranteed. But tonight I was shopping and saw some really cute newborn onesies in the sale. I bought them, despite the little voice in my head telling me I was being ridiculous and to put them back down!
They're so cute but I'm worried I've jinxed everything and/or wasted a fiver! I can't really imagine ever having someone to fit into them. I would never buy clothes for a friend or relative's baby until it was safely here. I think as we've only recently decided to go for it, I wanted something to make it feel real.

OP posts:
JudasPrudy · 09/01/2019 20:03

I think you just need to be careful how far down that road you go. You can drive yourself mad love Thanks

Original poster
JaiNotJay · 09/01/2019 20:04

I know, I know, Judas. It's really unlike me. I won't be buying anything else.

OP posts:
Idontbelieveinthemoon · 09/01/2019 20:06

It was a one-off, put them up in the loft and forget about them. It's lovely, but could also have the potential for heartbreak.

PurpleDaisies · 09/01/2019 20:07

Everyone’s different, but for me buying that stuff just feels like an added pressure that it has to work out. Maybe for you, it’s an encouragement. The fact you’ve posted this thread makes me think returning them might be a good idea.

Thesmallthings · 09/01/2019 20:07

Ynbu

I don't think there's any thing wrong in buying JUST them. But I really wouldn't anything more.

It helps to have a visual on what ever your aiming for and it may help if there is any dark times when your losing hope.

It will be lovely putting your baby in the onsie xx

PurpleDaisies · 09/01/2019 20:08

It will be lovely putting your baby in the onsie xx

That only works if there is a baby. I hope things work out for the op, but not everyone is that lucky.

Original poster
JaiNotJay · 09/01/2019 20:18

Thanks everyone. Flowers It was a moment of madness. I'll see how I feel about it tomorrow, and will either return them or put them away and forget all about them.

OP posts:
lboogy · 09/01/2019 20:21

Ageee put it away and don't think about it. If you need fertility treatment then buying baby clothes is the last thing you should do. I hope you're lucky and have first time success xx

Butteredghost · 09/01/2019 20:25

Don't buy any more but also don't worry. A fiver isn't to much to waste and jinxing is just something we say, it isn't real.

Hope it all goes well Smile

Thesmallthings · 09/01/2019 21:02

I realise that purple. But I figured a positive response would be wanted and more needed instead of you may never have a baby, which I'm sure she's all ready aware off.

PurpleDaisies · 09/01/2019 21:06

Having to give away those babygros is utterly heartbreaking small. It’s an absolutely awful position to be in, and for the sake of returning them, not one worth risking for a fiver.

I really hope it does work out for the op, but it doesn’t for everyone.

AliceScarlett · 09/01/2019 21:08

I've been TTC for 3 years. 6 months in I was convinced I was pregnant, had a weird moment and bought a pack of 3 babygros from ASDA. I've still got them tucked away in the back of a draw. I feel like if I get to put a baby in them after all this time it will feel amazing, but if I don't then maybe getting rid of them will help me to move on from my dreams of motherhood. Either way they currently bring comfort to me. Hope is important.

MynameisJune · 09/01/2019 21:14

I bought two babygros last Feb in america because you can’t get them here. I’d had a MC 6 months before and we’re still trying. It was a moment of madness and hope. Seeing those babygros in my bottom drawer every time
I went in there was a bit soul destroying to be honest. And I couldn’t bring myself to give them away.

Anyway turns out it was all okay, I’m 22 weeks pregnant and all being well our rainbow baby will wear her rainbow babygros this year. It took 19 months of trying.

Just put them away and try to forget about them but don’t feel bad.

GemmeFatale · 09/01/2019 21:22

I went the other way. After years of trying, intervention and failure our fertility treatment worked. I’m 18 weeks now and barely started purchasing. I’m worried something will go wrong.

If having them brings you comfort keep them.

Handprints2018 · 09/01/2019 21:23

Don't feel bad, pop them away and don't dwell on it. It's best not too, not because you'll tempt fate or whatever, but because of potential heartbreak.

I only recently gave away the small outfit i bought before miscarriage my first pregnancy (I waited on my second to buy)

Original poster
JaiNotJay · 10/01/2019 20:39

The baby clothes are now tucked away at the back of the wardrobe. I decided I wanted to keep them to give us a wee bit of hope. If we don't end up needing them I will pass them onto someone else for their baby. Smile

MynameisJune and GemmeFatale I hope all continues to go well with your pregnancies and you welcome your little ones safely soon. Flowers

OP posts:
hazell42 · 10/01/2019 20:59

Dont return them. Wrap them up and put them away somewhere safe. You don't want to be looking at them everyday but you have bought one little thing as a gift, a kind of private contract between you and your as yet unconceived child. Nothing wrong with that.
Good luck.

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