To be fed up of my mum and WWYD

[oreosandmilk123]

Basically, I told my nan I would go and do a deep clean for her next week as she cant do it anymore and its starting to show, I thought after this I would go once a week or every other week depending how busy I become.

My nan has had a cleaner in previously but didn't like her and wasn't happy with her work, she can also be quite funny and often if you tell her your going for a visit will ring saying she is unwell and to leave it a few days.

Here is were the AIBU & WWYD comes in, my mum has text me interfering again and told me she has asked her male friend to go round and clean once a week, asked me if I am going to 'keep it up' or should she tell him to do it, she has already spoken to my nan about it and she has agreed this friend can do it if I don't want to.

Im so so so pissed of, she does this all the time and now my nan will think I don't want to do the cleaning for her, not to mention she would of paid me a little and this would of covered the fuel to drop DD at nursery twice a week so would of helped my DH out a bit, but it would of meant I could of checked on my nan to as she isn't well and lies to other people (hairdresser comes once a month) about how well she is feeling.

AIBU to tell my mum to keep her nose out? Or should i just tell her to let her friend do the cleaning? My DH will be really upset over this because my family constantly try and fob me of when I agree stuff with them.

Sorry for the long post I'm probably being soft and over reacting

She’s your granny and you help her out because she’s your granny. Money for fuel doesn’t come into it.

I would have a proper discussion with your mum about it. Doesn’t really seem like she’s interfering- more that she’s trying to set up a reliably regular service for your GM.

you offered to do the cleaning and as long as you stick with it that's ok.dm possibly thought she was being helpful but would have been better to ask you first if you needed back up.

I agree with a PP - it seems like your mum wants to set up a routine, rather than have a family member do it now and then or when you feel it needs doing, as this will probably help her more, having someone routinely do it.

Are you sure you’re angry because you genuinely wanted to do this or because you’re losing out on the money she would have offered you?

@PollyFlinderz obviously, my nan wouldn't let me in if she wasn't allowed to pay me for fuel.

Just call your nan and tell her to ignore your mum and you’ll be round on x date to see her.

Tell your mum thanks but you’ve sorted it all with your nan

@LikeYouSaid I'm angry because iv offered to do something and agreed it with my nan and shes gone behind my back and arranged for someone else to start doing it, I'm talking like £10 its not about the money but DH has to go that way anyway to drop DD of so I would of just given it him for fuel.

My nan also has money in her home to top it of, i think my mum has met this man twice and thinks he's trustworthy enough to be in her home when she's vulnerable.

She left the door open once and fell asleep a male carer went into the wrong house and tried to give her medication. I was the first person there and I live 40 mins away no one else gives a damn

I think I'm fed up of feeling pushed out all the time because I don't run round after my DM anymore like I once did

If I was your Nan I would not want some random bloke your mother has found in my home.

Just put your foot down with your DM & stick to your arrangement with your nan. Old people are very vulnerable & it is much better to have a family member dropping in rather than a complete stranger. Also don’t let people on here guilt trip you about the petrol money.

@Lordamighty thank you

@madmum5811 exactly she falls asleep in her chair all the time and forgets to lock the door!! I honestly thought she had 'gone' the other day didn't answer the door the phone or anything!! I let my self in and she was catching flys on her bed bless her heart but the bloody back door was open .... if shes going to be like that with people in the house anything could happen.

@PollyFlinderz obviously, my nan wouldn't let me in if she wasn't allowed to pay me for fuel.

There are ways around that.

@PollyFlinderz go on then, you tell me those 'ways'

Oreo, ignore Polly etc that are trying to make you feel guilty for accepting your gran's token gesture.

I would keep going as planned and tell you DM you don't need this man's help.

Thanks everyone, Iv told my DM that I will be going ☺️

@PollyFlinderz go on then, you tell me those 'ways

Just don’t take the money.

If she's anything like my nan was, then not taking the money would be seen as an insult. She can afford it, she wants to give it, OP needs it. Where is the issue here.

Anyway OP hope you're ok