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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it annoying when people call all finger foods 'baby led weaning'?

37 replies

Findingthingstough18 · 09/01/2019 15:09

Ok, this is clearly quite a minor issue, but for some reason it annoys me. Almost all the other mums I know keep calling all finger foods for babies 'baby led weaning' - as in 'we're doing a mix of purees and baby led weaning' (that's just traditional weaning) or, as I heard today, 'oh we're just doing purees for now because I'm scared of choking but we're going to start doing the baby led weaning stuff at 9 months' (that is definitely, definitely not baby led weaning!). To be clear I'm not some sort of baby led weaning devotee or anything - that's not what annoys me - and nor do I give a single solitary toss how these people wean their babies, I just think it sounds so pretentious! Giving your seven month old a bit of toast sometimes isn't baby led weaning!

OP posts:
AnnAbbieLian · 09/01/2019 15:12

People with babies get over invested in stuff, I wouldn't worry about it, it's all exciting and new and theres books and stuff, once they have another kid they'll be chucking a tablet at them and shouting "it's wine o clock" or whatever so let them have fun with it while it's all still so new.

3WildOnes · 09/01/2019 15:12

I’ve heard a few people say this over the years and every time someone has jumped on them to say that it isn’t baby led weaning if they are also doing spoon feeding. That’s the bit that always amuses me.

Original poster
Findingthingstough18 · 09/01/2019 15:18

I’ve heard a few people say this over the years and every time someone has jumped on them to say that it isn’t baby led weaning if they are also doing spoon feeding

Oh, to be clear I haven't been doing this, because I'm not a massive twat. I've just been sat there thinking 'giving your baby puree and finger food is great but it's not a thing! Stop saying it's a thing!'

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paintinmyhairAgain · 09/01/2019 15:20

so much fuss about 'gentle parenting' [wtf] 'baby led' and the rest of it. okay some people do get excited about sll this but ffs how do we survive up to present day as humans before books and apps telling us when to feed / nappy change etc. it's a wonder some parents don't give their off spring gold stars for breathing !

Narya · 09/01/2019 15:20

every time someone has jumped on them to say that it isn’t baby led weaning if they are also doing spoon feeding

Agreed - this type of response comes across as far more pretentious than talking about doing a mix of blw and purees.

What is really annoying is that every parenting choice has to have a snappy label to enable easier judgement from other parents. e.g. 'babywearing', 'co-sleeping' and my personal favourite, 'cloth-bumming' Confused

theworstwife · 09/01/2019 15:22

Why does the definition of baby led weaning matter? So they’re not doing it ‘properly’ they either want to say they are or don’t know what it means. Live and let live it doesn’t matter

AnnAbbieLian · 09/01/2019 15:24

What is really annoying is that every parenting choice has to have a snappy label to enable easier judgement from other parents. e.g. 'babywearing', 'co-sleeping' and my personal favourite, 'cloth-bumming' confused

It's just branding. It's not to make judgement easier, it's to make market profiling easier.

TheMincePiesAreMine · 09/01/2019 15:28

I have a hatred of the term "baby led weaning" meaning no spoons allowed! It's a kind of branding. Personally I think it's kinder to offer them both. I don't call it BLW, but I don't see what's so "baby led" about denying them mushed up stuff if they like it. Mush and soft foods seem a very natural food for babies to me, and they are quite capable of indicating if they want more.

bellajay · 09/01/2019 15:41

‘Cloth-bumming’ gets me every time as well...I’m on board with the concept but it is up there along with ‘boob to sleep’ for phrases that tickle me 😂

museumum · 09/01/2019 15:44

I probably said I was doing “some blw” - what I meant really was some recipes/suggestions from the blw cookbook. I also did some recipes from annabel karmel too though ds held his own spoon from the start (very dexterous baby).

IHaveBrilloHair · 09/01/2019 15:45

I shouldn't care, as I have a 17yr old who is far past that stage, but yes, it's annoying.
Finger foods are not BLW.
It's like someone saying they are exclusively breastfeeding, but giving the odd bottle.
Nothing wrong with it, but don't give it a new wanky label when you arent doing it.

PrivacySetting · 09/01/2019 15:46

I'm with you OP. I am well past those stages with mine, but it drove me up the wall. All with 'baby wearing 'attachment parenting...I am sure there are others. What most mothers have been doing the world over, since the beginning of time. Just some middle class twats need to give it a name and make it a revolution

BarbarianMum · 09/01/2019 15:54

Not really sure about all this "baby-led" stuff. Maybe other people had babies that were more self-aware and responsible than mine, but mine were frankly hopeless at knowing what was safe good to eat, that teeth need to be cleaned and nappies changed, how much sleep they needed etc

It was definitely "mother knows best" in our house until the point that they could form a coherent arguement.

riotlady · 09/01/2019 15:55

@TheMincePiesAreMine in BLW you don’t necessarily deny them soft/mushed up food, generally the advice is to “pre-load” it onto a spoon and then let them feed it to themselves

(Personally I just spoon feed yoghurts and things cos I cba with the mess, which probably makes me one of the people the OP is complaining about!)

Original poster
Findingthingstough18 · 09/01/2019 15:57

Nothing wrong with it, but don't give it a new wanky label when you arent doing it.

This! It's not that they're using the term BLW 'wrong' that bothers me - I'm not some sort of gatekeeper of weaning purity - it's that they're using it completely unnecessarily. It's like the wankers people who call themselves 'flexitarian' - you (or your baby) eat completely normally and that's fine but stop trying to claim a pretentious label for it!

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Original poster
Findingthingstough18 · 09/01/2019 16:05

Not really sure about all this "baby-led" stuff. Maybe other people had babies that were more self-aware and responsible than mine, but mine were frankly hopeless at knowing what was safe good to eat, that teeth need to be cleaned and nappies changed, how much sleep they needed etc

Grin

We are quite 'baby led', in that the small tyrant runs rings around us. So we 'baby wear' (aka 'own a sling') because he sometimes hates his pram and currently we're doing all finger foods because he won't be fed from a spoon. It's not a parenting philosophy, it's basically a slow process of submission.

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Madwomanuptheroad · 09/01/2019 16:06

It is beyond ridiculous. After 5 kids in cloth nappies I had to Google what cloth-bumming means. Why do people get so over invested. The terminology is bonkers. Co-sleeping? It was baby in my bed or no-sleeping. I had a very hippy type Latin American wrap round type sling (exotic 25 years ago) but if anyone was referring to me doing baby wearing I would scream. Also it was me who was pregnant each time, not "us" (as in dp and me). Baby led weaning is basically giving the baby some control of what foods to eat and to explore - hardly a new invention and keeps them busy for a while. Why the terminology?

Nellyelora · 09/01/2019 16:11

why the terminology

To make money

HalfBloodPrincess · 09/01/2019 16:11

I have a dislike of all the ‘new’ terms.

I had my first in 2003 and it was just called breastfeeding back then. I don’t get the need to add the ‘exclusive’ as if it’s some badge of honour.

And all this baby led weaning/traditional weaning nonsense - we just used to ask if we’d started the baby on solids. What does it matter? They’ll all probably be refusing everything except fish fingers in a few months time anyway.

Pinkblanket · 09/01/2019 16:16

I was weaning my eldest when Jill Rapley first published her thesis, we had a photocopied summary of her research and some interesting discussion at a baby group I went to. I can't believe a whole industry has grown up around it!

Subtlecheese · 09/01/2019 16:17

Labelling absolutely every activity and person seems to be hugely important and I must have missed that bus.
I can't just rip up my bed sheets apparently that is "repurposing" them. I can't just buy second hand clothes they are now either reused or vintage (although I notice neatly everything new being advertised as vintage so there's a memo I missed). Parenting seems to be a veritable tornado of terms used by developenal psychology ten years ago except used in misunderstood new and creative ways.

Madwomanuptheroad · 09/01/2019 16:18

And while thousands of intelligent articulate women obsess about gentle attachment cloth-bumming in a baby led exclusive way they have significantly cut ante and post-natal services, benefits etc....

Crunchymum · 09/01/2019 16:19

So what are finger foods then? Confused

Madwomanuptheroad · 09/01/2019 16:21

Food you eat with your finger, irrespective of age

Original poster
Findingthingstough18 · 09/01/2019 16:23

pinkblanket it is mental what a thing it's become, isn't it? Quite a lot of people seem to think that no one gave babies finger foods, ever, before Gill Rapley - what do they think rusks were for?!

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