OH and money your opinion please

[moneymoneymoney19]

Right ok so OH earns £100 a day works some weekends as well I earn about a £1000 a month.
But all my money doesn't come at once I get half at the start of the month and half at the end.
I borrowed £400 of OH to pay DS nursery bill so I gave him £450 back today as I owed him £50.
I did a £80 food shop which has left me with £115 he wants me to give him £30 to put on the Argos card and him pay the other half if it was for a breast pump for dd.

But I don't get any money now until the end of the month and I need something in my bank to keep me a float. So I've asked him to just wait until the end of the month.

We don't pay any rent so our outgoings aren't that high. Bills probably around £700 a month and he's winging about £30 he has savings as well and I have nothing.

Aibu to not give him the bloody £30?

I know we should have joint accounts and things but we don't so I have to deal with this petty behaviour every month.

I don't know whether you should give him the £30 or not.

I do think you should have a proper talk about budgeting, who pays for what and how much "personal" money you are allowed. This ad-hoc random paying for things and both of you getting annoyed is clearly not working.

If the child is his too why does he not buy her the breast pump so you don't have to struggle. Isn't a relationship meant to be a partnership where you look out for each other ?
You may need to rethink your financial arrangements if he is this mean with money because if GOD forbid you split up , you will have nothing. You are in a very vulnerable position

If these are things needed for his own kids and you do not have the money then it sounds like he is very tight and it is very hard to un-hardwire that out of someone. If one person is earning more than another then the split of bills should be different.

@newye completely agree one of the reasons I'm trying to save this year x

Should he not give you £10?
You paid £80 on food shop, he paid £60 on breast pump.

He sounds really harsh. DP and I have a baby and he bought me the breast pump I needed. He always gives me money if I need any and I would him too, we’d never leave the other one short...

It’s his baby too, he shouldn’t be leaving you with zero money and he should be buying baby items never mind splitting the cost in half with you!

You earn at least half the amount he does, he needs to be more reasonable. You also should sit down and have a real budgeting talk because this set up isn’t working.

serious talk needed over budgeting as you have a child together.

So you are paying all the childcare and all the food shop? So he eats for free does he doesn't seem very fair to you does he. What does he pay towards the living costs?

I really don’t understand your way of working things.

I would do you both keep x number of £ left a week for personal spending and the rest should be family money for family things eg bills, food and anything for the kids.

Pay for a breast each, save save save and ltb asap.
Fighting tit for tat (tit?) over cash with a young baby is a bad sign for the long term op. You are correct in making plans to escape.

It's so weird to me when people have kids together and watch one person struggle while living it up themselves.
No say would I allow my DH to treat me like this, in all fairness I wouldn't have had a child with him if I knew he was capable of watching me struggle