To think you should keep your children with you in restaurants and pubs

[Carnivaloftheanimals]

I was out for lunch in a nice restaurant with a friend at the weekend and three mums arrived in with about eight children between them aged between 7ish and 11ish. They sat the excited noisy children at a table beside us and then went and sat several tables away themselves.

The children, with no adult supervising, were really loud and squealy and we couldn't hear ourselves think. We ended up leaving without dessert as it was just so unrelaxing.

I was in a pub on a Sunday afternoon recently with my SIL and a couple came in, sat their three children at a table beside us with coke and crisps and disappeared to a separate alcove where they couldn'e even see them. The youngest, who looked about five, made several attempts to run out of the front door onto the busy street while other customers and staff had to stop him. The manager eventually marched them down to their parents' table.

AIBU to think when you bring young children to a restaurant or a pub you should sit with them, and not expect other customers to put up with their noise and running around while you escape to a nice quiet corner?

I have literally never seen anyone do this, let alone twice in a week. I think you're going to the wrong places! I don't think anyone is going to say it's ok to leave a five year old to run out into a busy street.

It wasn't twice in one week. The restaurant was at the weekend and the pub was a few weeks before Christmas.

I agree that rowdy kids and young kids shouldn't be there to disrupt everyone else but that can happen when they're at the same table as their parents. If you're used to going out to eat as a family it could seem a bit off to want to ditch your kids out of sight but I can understand overwhelmed parents wanting to eat in peace - wanting that and actually doing it to the cost of everyone else is entirely different though.

Some well behaved older kids enjoying a bit of independence and adults enjoying their meal from another table - i've never been offended by that.

Yea I've never seen this happen either but YANBU. Before I had children one thing that really annoyed me was people who let leave their children to scream in a restaurant or run riot ruining it for everyone else. And now after having children it still annoys me. I wouldn't let my DC do it and I definitely wouldn't leave her unattended that just seems irresponsible.

YANBU. I was in a restaurant once when a couple of women came in with a group of birthday party kids. The children were put sitting at a table close by us and the two women went off and enjoyed a relaxing coffee at the back of the restaurant while we put up with excited noise and kids blowing those squeaky things you get in crackers.

Awful. We complained and left.

I’ve also never seen anyone do this. I’ve seen kids try to escape their table and parents bring them back but never sit them on a table and sit a few tables away.
As a parent myself YANBU to think parents should sit at the same table as their children and watch them rather than expect the already busy staff to babysit!

I might have also been disbelieving but it happen to me in Camden Pizza Express just before Christmas. About 5 very young, 4-9ish? kids sat at a table all be themselves. TBF I didn't see any parents at all so maybe they booked the table 😂

They were stupidly loud, constantly up and down and at one point, throwing salad, but a member of staff stopped them.

I have a newborn and went to a pub for a meal yesterday. I was (and am) paranoid about him making too much noise, even as a small baby, because I don't want the other patrons to have to listen to him crying. I can't imagine letting a group of older children run amok in a public place, I'm going to be so on it as baby gets older; I'd hate noisy children so can expect others to hate noise my child makes!

It happened to me in a pub as well. Parents left the children inside with drinks and crisps and disappeared into the beer garden with pints.

It was probably a birthday party. When we've had birthday parties in restaurants from the kids we've done that - seat them at one and adults at the other. But we always ask for tables right next to each other and don't let the kids disrupt other diners.

I have worked in several pubs and can confirm that this happens surprisingly often, especially in 'naice' areas. We had parents letting their very young children ride scooters and balance bikes unsupervised despite the garden leading down a slope onto a main road. Usually parents would be inside totally oblivious to their DC climbing the trees/awning, running around and annoying other customers. One couple were filming themselves giving their barely sitting up on its own baby the lemons from their drinks, it projectile vomited and they just got up and left, no apology or attempt to clean up. We've also had people just tell their DC to play on the street outside because under 18s had to leave by 8pm and the parents wanted to continue drinking.

I work in a family restaurant and plenty of times people have just let their kids run riot and been happy for us as servers to watch them 😕

I have only seen this in a pizza restaurant where a group of children (approx 11 years old) were clearly having a birthday gathering whilst a parent who was probably the 'taxi' and bill payer was seated a few tables away reading a book.

I hate to see children unsupervised in restaurants from both a health and safety point of view and customer enjoyment aspect. Having said that I have been to pubs/restaurants where the loud conversation of a large group of adults has made it impossible to have a civilised conversation of my own.

Honestly entitlement parenting is reaching new heights.

Recently I went to a restaurant as part of a large group of six adults and twelve kids (aged 6 to 13).The staff sat us on two separate tables (one for the adults and one for the kids) without us even requesting it!! We wouldn't have requested it btw. So I think this must be quite a common thing.

The two tables were next to each other though. Really weird in your example when the adults couldn't even see the kids

I think theres a difference . I have let my 9 yr old sit at a table without me, with her 3 friends, for a birthday treat in the local rammed with children Pizza Express whilst sitting 2 tables away, in full view, monitoring them!

My rationale that any grown up wanting a peaceful, relaxing meal would chew their own arm off before venturing into a Pizza Express, and I knew my DD and her friends were capable of behaving (staying seated at the table, not being too loud). I would ever drop and run or leave kids where I couldn't see them / monitor behaviour.

*never

I do think kids want to be grown ups and have meals out with their friends - more so here where there is little to do for teens.

I have let them - but sat away not to intrude - but none were running about or squeeling!! It’s difficult to please everyone

But yes some parents are irresponsible

Yea I've never seen this happen either but YANBU.

I have.

The local carvery has a wacky warehouse, a family section and an adults only section. Imagine a squared off 'C', the ww is at one end and the adult only is at the other.

I've seen parents leave their kids with a drink in the family bit and then go to the adult only area.

One child wanted the toilet, by the time ke founf mum he'd taken his nappy off.

Yes I judged.

I was thinking all of this yesterday - went into a coffee shop for a peaceful coffee and read of the paper. At least 3 sets of parents with young children letting them run around squealing and chasing each other, rolling on the floor, with no attempt to retrieve them - basically using the room as a playground while the parents chatted. I know small children make a noise, that’s one thing, but running round a smallish coffee shop chasing each other is not on. And don’t get me started on scooters!

I assume these parents wouldn't have a leg to stand on if their kids were abducted as they obviously couldn't give a shit about them. I'm talking about the very young children, not those of an age that they could look after themselves.

YANBU. Unless you're in your own home your young children should be supervised by you.

Many years ago I was waitress part time around college and it used to annoy the tits off me when parent's let their kids run wild around the dining section of the pub. They act like it's the waitresses responsibility to look after the kids. I always just used to go over and tell them that they needed to "attend to" their child lol.

YANBU. Children should either sit reasonably quietly at a table with their parents, or be brought outside. It is totally unfair to expect other customers to eat a paid for meal against a background of screaming, wailing, spoons banging on tables, and kids tearing around the place.

And staff should be more pro-active in ensuring this doesn't happen.

What kind of restaurants/pubs do you go in
I avoid any that might be seen as ‘family friendly’ or if I walk in and there are kids there I’ll leave. It’s not my idea of a good time socialising with other people’s rowdy kids nearby. Especially when my own four aren’t with me. They don’t really like to go out for dinner and x4 we would go somewhere with kids play area and no way would I sit near single couples. Don’t get these people you’ve seen, never experienced it tbh.

Not really into the children should be seen and not heard though, they aren’t robots they don’t behave ALL of the time but I would remove my child if they were playing up/misbehaving and disturbing others. Plenty time for us to go for nice meals out when they are older

I just recently did this for my 11 year olds birthday. 4 kids aged 10-11 on one table and 2 adults supervising with full view of them at all times. They weren't noisy and just had a good time feeling grown up and ordering for themselves. The table of about 10 students nearby were far more noisy and rowdy.
I wouldn't gave done it if I didn't know and trust all the kids to be sensible though.