To think about introducing cry it out at 5 months?

[WHAT91]

Hello,

I'm feeling very low and struggling to cope on 3 to 4 hours sleep a night. My 5 month old seemed to be getting into a routine of waking once in the night but for the past few weeks, he's up at least four times, absolutely ravenous, guzzling 12 - 15oz between 11pm and 8am. He screams and thrashes about until he's fed or picked up.

He goes down quite well at bedtime but when he wakes during the night he almost always fusses until he nods off in my arms. He's been a bit upset and grizzly in general recently which I'm putting down to teething.

Anyway, I read a small bit into cry it out and am not sure how I feel about it. Do I just ride out whatever this is? Or do I try and introduce some sort of cry it out thing? Because he seems genuinely hungry when we awakes I feel that cry it out isn't the best method but then is he just comfort feeding for sleep?

I'm feeling really low and absolutely exhausted all the time. I'm pretty devastated to be feeling resentful of my little man because it all. It's not his fault the poor soul but when I'm this rundown and tired I need to try and find a solution so I can be a good and strong mum.

Does anyone have any advice or even words of encouragement for a struggling newbie to motherhood?

Are you a lone parent. Is there no-one ( his dad, your parents) who could give you a break?

Are you on your own or do you have a partner that can help? Are you breast or ff feeding?

He’s still very little and if he’s hungry then he needs his milk.

I know broken sleep like that is horrific so if anyone can give you a break some time (your mum?) so you could nap it would help you.

Talk to your health visitor. He sounds hungry. Crying it out won’t solve this one unfortunately.

Good luck with getting more sleep- YANBU to wish for that!

I wouldn’t do cry it out. If you think the problem is that he’s hungry have you started him on solids? If you’re worried, the NHS guidelines for 6 months are now totally out of date with current research (and will most
Likely soon change back to 17 weeks says my child’s consultant) starting solids earlier massively lowers risk of allergy and is not harmful. I would guess if he’s taking the bottle he’s hungry rather than comfort feeding. Young babies you’d expect to feed all through the night littlemand often but personally at 5 months I agree with you that this is not necessary and very exhausting for you.

It sounds like a sleep regression so I’d say ride it out. I tend to agree with you that if he’s genuinely hungry then cry it out isn’t right.

That’s all easier said than done though and it sounds like you need a break, is there anyone who can help you for a night or two? Or can you get rest during the day?

Not long until you can introduce solids, that might help to fill him up a bit more and prevent the night wakings.

Have you tried white noise? You basically put it on everytime you want them to sleep and they associate it with sleep. I turn mine off when asleep and just switch back on if they wake in the night but some people leave it on all night. You can get an app on your phone (white noise baby on android, although there are lots of them) and try different ones like fan noise, vacuum sounds etc. Works brilliantly for my toddler, used it from being tiny. Tip- you need it on quite loud initially. It can drive you mad but it is a small price to pay for sleep! Regardless, the time will pass and it will get easier.x

I don’t think cry it out is ever appropriate. Sleep training is not recommended before the age of one and it for a child who is struggling to settle not a baby who is hungry.

Can anyone you a break so you can nap? Nap at the same time as him? Contact your HV and home start for support.

Cry it out only works once the baby realises no-one is there to meet it's needs. It exhausts itself from crying and will fall into a sad, sobbing sleep. Early weaning isn't recommended but as most babies develop at different rates your midwife may support you in introducing some solids to satisfy the hunger.

If you have a hungry baby, you have a hungry baby and not feeding a hungry baby is neglectful so please forget CIO xx

He's too young for sleep training and cry it out isn't a 'method', unless you mean controlled crying?

If he's genuinely hungry then no amount of sleep training is going to help.

What @NameChangeNine said. Cry it out is awful. Read this

https://www-phillyvoice-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.phillyvoice.com/screaming-sleep-part-one-two-moral-imperative-end-cry-it-out/amp/?usqp=mq331AQHCAFYAYABAQ%3D%3D&fbclid=IwAR3imKPqEMQF3UNSY3WaqbQSOf-wlRkPwkp2Rjzy7BRsLtRBWVuUZXIwjG0&ampjssv=0.1#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amptf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.phillyvoice.com%2Fscreaming-sleep-part-one-two-moral-imperative-end-cry-it-out%2F

I sympathize, as I had one who was very similar! There was definitely a big turning point at about 6 months, though, so I would ride it out until then, if you can. Solids might make a difference (not saying you should introduce them now, but presumably you will be soon), or he might just settle down a bit.

I ended up co-sleeping, which was a life-saver. If that might be an option for you, look up how to do it safely. It helped both of my DC to get used to sleeping through the night; I know some people worry that the baby will never then sleep in their own bed, but it sounds like he's not doing that anyway! (Mine both transitioned fine to cot/bed).

Can you get someone to mind him during the day so you can get some rest?

Thank you everyone for your comments. I really appreciate it

My partner works a lot and is up very early for his job which requires a lot of concentration so he sleeps in the other room on work nights but on his days off he will take the baby in the night giving me a break. But his days off aren't consistent so sometimes I have to survive on 3 hours a sleep 6 days in a row. However, his parents have just moved closer so they will be able to help out much more. I'm glad many of you suggest not trying cry it out as the thought of him being so upset upsets me.

I go back to work in exactly one month so I think that's why I'm worrying so much as I can't cope with work while feeling this run down.

@tinyteatime interesting about solids as so many people are adamant it's 6 months but I have slowly started to introduce a couple of mouthfuls of baby porridge once a day but hasn't helped as yet. I guess it's possibly a growth spurt and sleep regression and I'll just need to ride it out.

They certainly don't talk to you about all of these stages at antenatal classes, but then again, I don't think anything can prepare you for the sheer exhaustion of it all.

CIO makes me want to cry in all honesty, I don’t know how parents can do it. I leap to my baby’s every squirm , can’t stand the notion of him being upset in any way and I have three other DC I was exactly the same with so not PFB. As a PP pointed out, they only stop crying because they’re exhausted from sobbing , they realise no one will be coming and that’s so sad.

Your baby honestly just sounds hungry. My HV told me babies aren’t able to emotionally manipulate you so when they cry, it’s because they genuinely need you for something. I BF so unsure whether it’s still the case but they used to sell a hungry baby formula? Also it’s fine to wean a little early if you think your baby needs it. It always used to be from 4 months and many health visitors will still say 4 months if you have a particularly hungry baby.

All babies need before 6 months is milk. 2/3 spoons of porridge that has no nutritional value and is basically just mill abgway will not make any difference.
Have you considered bed sharing?

You'd be totally unreasonable to introduce CIO at any age, let alone when your baby is just 5 months old.

Try introducing more food. Try a different formula. Don't try leaving your hungry baby to cry itself to an exhausted silence.

I would do cio but I would definitely do some gentle sleep training.
Purplelion quite a few countries say that weaning is fine from 17 weeks. Mine certainly weren’t having just a few spoonfuls of porridge a day they were having three meals a day.

I think Purple is getting confused with baby rice...