Do people have good relationships

[spoon19996]

I'm only 22 and from my own experience and from My friends experiences I have never witnessed a good relationship.

For myself the guy has always been a compulsive liar and for some reason a victim player and then the father to my kids a bully.

And from my friends experiences they always have girls to "talk" to and hang on to their ex's.

Surely this can't be it? Are we the awful generation that this is it? Stuck to your ex and compulsively lie?

When I was your age (I really hope this doesn't come over as patronising - I promise it's not meant to be!), my experience of boyfriends was:

A couple of boys from school who lasted about a year each (so no big deal).

An extremely possessive and jealous guy who was only a year older than me (I was 16, he was 17) who wanted me to drop out of sixth form (because there were other boys there) so I could get pregnant and we could get a council flat together - all the while he was unemployed and not even looking for work.

A guy who 'rescued' me from his leery friend in a nightclub one evening, so I felt indebted to him and agreed to a date - that lasted from the ages of 19-22 (partly because I moved out of home into a flat with him, so felt responsible for paying the rent/bills etc.) he was nice, but more interested in weed and beer than working or doing things with me, we were like brother and sister for the last year or so - he smoked so much weed he never wanted to DTD - but I stuck it out cos he bought me a ring What a fool I was!

Then, I took a year out from dating, decided to live on my own and not date and it was amazing! I had so much fun, spent loads of time with my friends, did well at work etc.

When I was nearly 24, I met the man who became my wonderful DH. He was kind, generous with his time, 5 years older than me, funny (if you like Dad jokes...) and I fancied him just as much as he fancied me, and we've been together 15 years next month, hurrah!

Like me, loads of my friends too had crappy experiences with boyfriends when they were in their late teens/early twenties - (some) guys just don't mature as fast as girls and they don't seem to have the same priorities. I'd go for someone a bit older and don't rush in to dating someone as soon as you meet them. Take the time to make sure that they share the same outlook and priorities as you. And don't put up with being treated like shit - know your worth! If they are 'talking' to other girls, or still hanging round with their ex, then what on earth are you doing with them? You are worth more than being someone's 2nd choice. There are good guys out there, good luck!

I’m nearly 30 and have never had a ‘good’ relationship. Part of this is down to choosing the wrong men, and when their flaws became apparent, having self esteem issues with myself that meant I stuck around too long (even if only by a few months). My single friends also have a history of being repeatedly lied to, cheated on or messed about. But on the flip side I know people who’ve gone from one loving long term relationship to another with ease. I think I could stand outside my house with a giant sign declaring I want a relationship and still not find one, but other peoples experiences are different

Hi I'm the same age !

Friend wise I'm quite lucky my very best two friends are like my family I trust them with my life

A lot of other women (or girls) my age I find so bitchy and incredibly childish and ignorant

Apart from the man I am with now I was cheated on by my previous two serious boyfriends and it was horrible.

I don't think we are totally doomed I just think it's hidden gems we need to look for - let the rest of the carry on together x

When I was younger, I had a string of crappy "relationships". My 1st "boyfriend" hid me from his friends and parents. Looking back, I see I was little more than his other woman. I didn't see it at the time because I was very young (17-20) and very naive.

After that, I spent probably 3 years going from one bloke to another, me hoping for a proper relationship but them only wanting sex and nothing else.

I got fed up with being treated like shite and feeling used and worthless so I was single for years. I didn't even try to meet another man for a long time because, like you, I felt as though all relationships were going to pan out in that way and that I'd rather be single than stuck in a miserable relationship.

It wasn't until I'd lived on my own for several years with a full-time job, enjoying living my life spending the money I'd earned that I felt confident enough to test the dating waters again, knowing that I could be happy on my own and that I didn't need to be with a man and that I didn't have to put up with crap.

I met my now dh at 28 and yes, we have a good, happy, healthy relationship. We work well together, we talk, we support each other, we love each other. We could do with more money and we should spend more quality time together without the dc but overall, we're happy.

I would advise you to not bother with your ex, only speak to your child's father about your child and spend time by and on yourself, working on your confidence and your boundaries. I believe that you should be in a relationship because you want to be and because it makes you happy and if it doesn't, you shouldn't feel stuck with it.

Yes, it does get better than what you're describing but only if you don't waste time with liars and cheats.