Five or so years ago I embarked on a holiday romance with a man abroad. It was so unlike me and felt so exciting. I actually believed I was in love. I was in my very early 20s at the time.
It lasted about 5-6 months and I went to see him three times. However, soon the cracks started to show. He lives in a relatively poor country and we talked about me moving there, but I wanted to finish my studies first. Looking back I know it was unrealistic and silly.
One day he told me he was in dire problems money wise, and was sleeping in his car as he had no money to pay the rent. He said he had no money even for food, before asking if I could loan him some money. I hesitated at first, but he kept saying I was a mean person, that I care more about money than the people I supposedly care about. I asked if his family could help him, he said he would have to go back and live in his village and would never be able to see me again.
This was the magic button, and I sent him £100. This may not seem a lot to many here, but in his country it is worth a lot more. It was also a lot to me, as I was a student earning £50 a week at the time.
Less than a week later he told me we should just be friends going forwards. Deep down I agreed that was probably the right thing to do. Until I found out the truth - he had been romancing another British girl for over two months, and wasn't homeless at all. She had moved out there to be with him and was living with him. Straight away he put up lovey dovey pictures of them on social media.
I felt stupid, dumb I had believed his lies and felt sorry for him being homess - it was all a lie. I asked him for the money back, he said he didn't have it. For months I asked every week, he said he was broke. I then gave a deadline - my friend was going on holiday there and could he please give the money to him. He never showed up, and sent me a messaging telling me to move on.
To make matters worse, his colleagues messaged me saying he'd been carrying on with multiple girls for months, and I wasn't the first girl who gave him money. They said he boasted to everyone at the hotel, that he had all these girls as 'playthings' and he had sex with all of us in the same room.
I got over him a long time ago - I can't understand what I ever saw in him. But I can't get over the fact he never gave me my money back, and that I actually believed his lies. It has made me very cynical of life and people generally, and I am not as kind to people as I could be. It's made me reluctant to ever help anyone. Yes I know it's only £100 but that's not the point. He clearly had no respect for me at all.