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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that this guy is certifiable?

39 replies

Snoz · 08/01/2019 16:50

So, I was chatting to a guy OLD a couple of weeks ago. I added him on Whatsapp. He then proceeded to ring me and not request, but DEMAND that I met him that day. He would not take no for an answer. He actually told me that he NEEDED to see me that day. That he didn't want someone who said 'maybe next week', he needed to see me that day, end of. I hung up and forgot about him (after a few missed calls).
Anyway, today, he rings again, and I didn't recognise the photo in time before I answered it.
Again, he insists, that we must meet up. I told him I couldn't. He demanded to know why. After some refusal I eventually told him that I've a very heavy period and feel like shit and you're a raving lunatic
He said 'we don't have to have sex'. I told him that I was in a lot of pain.
He then to proceeds to tell me about how he cured he exes friend's back pain 'and she was much worse than you' but didn't know what he was doing so ended up really sick himself. His friends were very concerned about him, so in the absence of any alternative, took him to a big tree and laid him there for 3 hours until he restored his strength.
Then, his next sentence was 'What have your read lately?'.

Have I entered a parallel insane universe or is this dude a complete and utter nutter!??

OP posts:
Snoz · 08/01/2019 17:28

I didn't know what to say apart from, I have to go. I am rarely speechless, but I just literally did not know what to say haha. In hindsight I should have asked what breed of a tree it was should I ever find myself in a similar situation. But the fact that he cured someone's back pain, hence the need of the tree in the first place?

It's a bit Stephen King The Green Mile lol.

OP posts:
Miane · 08/01/2019 17:30

I'm a DJ and I had to cancel two gigs, so my friends were really concerned about me, so they bundled me into the car and drove me to a big tree and left me at the bottom of the tree for three hours'

His Translation:

I’m really cool and in demand. I have lots of friends that adore me. I’m really artistic (and terribly cool ) and I needed to commune with nature to restore my troubled soul. Don’t you want to adore me and tend to me?

My translation:

Self involved arse. Not worth even minimal bother.

(And no don’t link imjos profile that’s a bit unkind)

Coolhwip · 08/01/2019 17:31

Was it this guy? Creepiest voicemail ever.

Snoz · 08/01/2019 17:31

Miane, you're giving him more credence for sanity than I've given.

OP posts:
SpamChaudFroid · 08/01/2019 17:34

Is he a Safestyle salesman? They never leave you alone when you ask them to either. Thank fuck you didn't let him in your house!

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/01/2019 17:35

Who the hell has 3 hours to lay by a tree? Grin

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 08/01/2019 17:35

trees restoring health....

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This thread is hilarious!!! Grin

Snoz · 08/01/2019 17:37

Oh my God. He is exactly like Dimitri!
Literally could not compute why I said no!

OP posts:
Snoz · 08/01/2019 17:44

I could just see the two of us going to a forest on our first date while he healed my back pain had I said yes (forest necessary for the amount of pain I'm in). Ah love. Think I let a good man go......

Or I'd be found buried under a great oak
The reason I liked him in the first place is because he looks like my Salsa teacher who I do not have a massive crush on

OP posts:
Shockers · 08/01/2019 17:44

Dimitri is completely wrong about one thing.

He is not a catch.

He is a fucking weirdypants.

Snoz · 08/01/2019 17:49

I sort of want to add him and call him to see exactly how much madness is in there? I'm so tempted. But I know I know I know. I should go and sit under a tree and contemplate how bad of a person I am for three hours.

OP posts:
PossiblyPFB · 08/01/2019 17:53

OMG the Dimitri VMs to Olga....... what on Earth.... - did anyone else immediately think it could so easily be Donald Trump leaving messages for an uninterested Russian babe..... Shock Angry

OP - swerve bigly........ Smile

recklessruby · 08/01/2019 23:29

Sorry can't stop laughing Grin. Avoid. Avoid. Run far, run fast.
I wonder if he just lay under the tree for 3 hours without getting watered by a passing dog or having a wasp land on him?

Iamtheoneandonly2018 · 08/01/2019 23:35

Misread the 'peering in my window' bit as PEEING in my window.

Note to self - need more sleep Smile

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