To expect things back clean?

[Endofrelationship]

I gave my sister lots of my old baby stuff, as a loan, when she had her DS. She was really strapped for cash and needed it and was very grateful, or so she said. I made it clear that they were a loan.

I'm now pregnant again and asked for it back. She has finished using it. She's brought me the steriliser and infant car seat back and a bouncer chair. The bouncer chair is unusable due to mould (spilt milk and snacks by the look/smell), the steriliser is filthy- brown gloop and black mould. The carseat cover has been washed but is still stained and the straps are green with mould.

It was all in use until about 2 months ago (when I gave her our spare next stage carseat) and has been stored in her spare room.

I'm so annoyed. I don't want to use them they are so disgusting but we can't afford to replace them. I'm considering asking for the other carseat back now. She's made no attempt to clean them before returning them and made no apology or comment on their condition.

AIBU to be annoyed?

Request the other one back ASAP.

It's so disappointing when others don't care for your possessions.

I would send her photos of the damage and ask her for a specified amount of money to replace these items. If you buy decent second hand stuff it’s still going to be nicer than this.

She’s a CF and I would never lend her anything again if I was planning to use it again.

Pull her up on it and stop loaning her things, get the other carseat back too.

Check eBay, Facebook market, and Gumtree for good deals on second-hand items. Some people actually take immaculate care of their baby's items and you can get them for a fraction of the price.

Does she live in a very damp flat. I'm wondering if that's the cause of the mould. If that's the case then she really needs to move, it will be really bad for the baby's and her health.

If it's just because she is a lazy fucker and didn't clean them, then don't ever loan her anything again

Ew her spare room and house must be disgusting and dirty if things are really covered in mould. Is it really as bad as you say? I would explain they're unusable and she needs to help towards the cost of new stuff.

Things don't just get mouldy over time.

Sounds like your Dsis used your items and then shoved them in a shitty shed or damp basement.

Very unreasonable so I wouldn't lend her anything again. Ever. Hopefully you can find replacements second hand cheap enough - not fair, I know, but unless she's willing to pay for new replacements there's not a lot else you can do.

This is gross and unacceptable. Definitely ask for ty other car seat back. I know you shouldn't have to do it but could you or your partner give the other things a deep clean and disinfect? I don't know what is wrong with people?!

They were immaculate when I gave them to her. The steriliser was as new as DS was ebf so it had virtually no use, I sent it with all the bottles and tubs and brushes, non have come back.

I'll probably buy a second hand steriliser and my friend has a bouncer I can have but I'll need a new carseat.

She's just a lazy fucker DingDongDenny her house is not damp. And the spare room is nice too.

Have you asked her about it? Either she's really dirty or really selfish! Do you think this level of dirty is normal for her?

God don't buy a second hand steraliser off a random. Buy a new one they're so cheap. Same with car seats theyre not cheap but for safety they must be new unless you know the history. etc. Unless you're so skint you can't afford to do this don't skimp on the important things.

Can you remove any of the seat covers from the bouncer or car seat to give them a good scrub?

Appalling from your sister- she must have no shame handing things back to their owner in that condition.

It's the green furry mould of rotten food, rather than the black mould of damp.

I think she's both dirty and selfish Aaaahfuck.

The steriliser was a gift last time. I usually buy second hand (except mattresses and car seats) but I'm very particular about what I buy.

I’d be upfront with her and say that you’re really disappointed that she didn’t take better care of your things.

I’d send some photos of the mould and staining and say you don’t want to fall out over this, but money is tight and YOU can afford to replace the items, so what can she suggest to get them back in useable condition?

The seat cover for the carseat is in the wash, but the straps are awful and I can't detach them, I'm going to try scrubbing them with Dettol and a brush.

Unfortunately I think you can just do your best to clean the stuff and put it down to a lesson learned. It's a really selfish way to behave

We were kindly given a second hand car seat by a good friend which turned out to be a bit dirty, but it cleaned up really well with dettol in the wash for the cover and plenty of Milton scrubbing of the straps.

So annoying for you though. I'd be fuming.

I would pop round for the car seat without warning when you know she's home.

Definitely get the other car seat back and never lend her anything ever again. And tell her why

If your planning on ebf again just get some cold water sterilizing tablets and a box with a lid its cheaper and fit for more than one purpose

She'd be getting fuck all else from me, dirty cow!

abbsisspartacus I'm not, so was really hoping for the steriliser and tubs etc back as provided!

I'd just have appreciated an attempt to clean them or an apology for the missing items/ condition. At least a "sorry I've not had chance to clean them".

Maelstrop yep. She's not having anything else unless she buys it from me.