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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids and pocket money.

50 replies

ErrorNoBrainDetected · 08/01/2019 08:27

How much pocket money do you give to your children weekly? I have DS's 7 and 10yr. And do you expect them to spend their saved pocket money when they want things? Eg stationery, Toys, books, footwear and clothing.

OP posts:

caperplips · 08/01/2019 14:36

Dd is just turned 13 and we have not given her pocket money up to now. However she is now at the age of being interested in going to Starbucks for a frappucino or the smoothie bar etc with her friends and we were being hit for money every time.

We have decided to give her €13 a week and she can use it for socializing, the school disco and new 'fashion' for these event in Primark / H&M

I think she will soon learn where to prioritise her money!

user139328237 · 08/01/2019 14:49

I would think that the figures for children in care should be the bare minimum.
Ideally pocket money would be replaced an allowence during early teens so they don't end up being the person who hasn't got a bank account for their Saturday jobs wages when they are sixteen or even for their student loan at 18.

3WildOnes · 08/01/2019 15:01

£2 a week for the 8 year old. The younger ones don’t get any. The 8 year old was saving his to buy a football kit but he got that for Christmas so I think he’s now saving to by a football goal for the garden. Once they get to secondary school I think I’ll give them £20 a week for socialising and a separate clothes allowance though I’ll stil but basics and uniform.

Allyg1185 · 08/01/2019 15:49

I have 7 year old ds and we don't give him pocket money as such. His school uses a points system so he gets 25p for every point he gets which is fair because days he can have between 5 and 10 points. Other than that he gets weekly pocket money from one Gran £3 and change from his other Gran this adds up and if he wants something he either takes it from his piggy bank or he saves up. We put money into a savings account every month for when he is older

TwoBlueFish · 08/01/2019 16:46

DS 14 (year 10) delivers the free papers once a week and gets about £20 per month

DS 15 (year 11) has SEN and can’t work so he gets an equivalent amount from us. He also helps more around the house.

They both have pay as you go phones at about £7.50 per month which we pay for. We also pay for any after school activities. If they are going out with friends then I will give a bit of extra cash.

DS 14 is fantastic with money and really knows the value because he earns it.

user1471426142 · 08/01/2019 16:54

I was initially really shocked by the amount that ChrisjenAvasarala mentioned but actually I agree with the approach. I don’t think I’d do as much so young but I’d like my children to have responsibility for budgeting as teenagers (if not before) and having to make some tough decisions about spending. I was always taught money management as a child and was sensible when I got my first job at 16 and into university. I think it is far better to make mistakes and learn when the odds are lower than when you get a student loan or first pay packet. I know lots of people who totally messed up their finances at university (including one whose parents had to remortgage their house to pay off a large debt that their child had accumulated).

ChrisjenAvasarala At what age did you start the allowance and did you start smaller and build up? I’ve only got a toddler at the moment so don’t really need to think about it yet but I suspect we’d start young ish with small amounts.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 08/01/2019 18:07

I pay for the phone, but if dd had a clothes budget she probably just wouldn't buy any clothes at all. I think that you need to evaluate what works for your children at the time and assess it as you go along.

planespotting · 08/01/2019 18:10

Thanks @ChrisjenAvasarala !

TheBigBangRocks · 08/01/2019 18:47

Mine have a monthly allowance. They don't have to buy books, stationery, clothes, school trips etc from it as these are parenting basics,

It's there's to do as they please and have a bit of fun with.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 08/01/2019 18:55

@user1471426142

Ive been putting money into their banks since a few weeks after birth, but started the £100 pocket money at 5. So I sat the oldest down when he turned 5 and we talked about what it was for. So, buying merchandise when at events or things from gift shops, buying birthday and Xmas gifts, spending money on school trips, and things like Pokemon cards, Lego men, toys during the year and savings.

It was a little tricky because we'd be at the zoo, or a show and he'd bring his own money but I'd buy for his younger brother. I never spent more than he would, and explained that when he was that age, I bought for him. The younger one rarely needed toys since he had all the age appropriate toys from when his brother was that age, it was easy to keep toy buying fair.

Then, when my youngest turned 5, he got the same talk.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 08/01/2019 18:57

I still buy them stuff, because I want to treat them, so it's not a hard and fast rule. But they are learning the basics about saving, counting what you spend, putting money aside for a bigger purchase etc.

NoShelfElf · 08/01/2019 18:58

My DS 7 has chosen not to have pocket money up until now. It's been offered, but his attitude is that if he wants anything, I will buy it. In all honesty, he's not a demanding soul, so that's been ok. He did cash in his money box last year and buy a Lego technic set.
This week, he has decided /agreed with DH that he will take on the laundry as a regular job in return for payment. He's doing a grand job so far although payment has not been agreed. I'm thinking £3 or thereabouts

Whatabloodymessthisis · 08/01/2019 19:11

Can anyone give examples of the types of chores their children do and their ages if they do the chores for pocket money?

ChoudeBruxelles · 08/01/2019 19:13

Ds is 12 (nearly 13) and gets £30 a month.

Qasd · 08/01/2019 19:14

£3 a week for both, they are 8 and 11

AlexanderHamilton · 08/01/2019 19:17

For us dd and dd both take part in performing arts at a fairly serious level so they are out of the house a lot (dd is now away at college) hence they can’t really do major chores.

But for ds I expect his bed to be made, him to tidy up after himself, put his clean clothes away, and put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He has autism so I also try and incentivisecompletion of homework etc.

waterplease · 08/01/2019 19:30

Honestly I would do maybe £1.50 a week? It's not really needed at that age an they'll just buy crap if you let them!

When I was in year 6 my parents would give me £10 every now and then if I wanted to go to the cinema or a little supervised trip into town with friends.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 08/01/2019 19:34

I have to contest that point. They don't buy crap if you teach them properly. When they understand that £5 here And £5 there adds up, then buying plastic crap is suddenly not so appealing when they could keep those little amounts and put it towards something they really want.

It goes hand in hand with teaching them awareness of waste.

waterplease · 08/01/2019 19:39

@ChrisjenAvasarala good point! It's a great opportunity to teach about environmental impact and savings for life skills.

Let's be real though- at 7 &10, we didn't care about that!

Kilash · 08/01/2019 20:11

My 17 yo gets £25 per week, £10 allowance and the remaining £15 to spend on lunches at school (It's what I was paying school anyway). He pays for everything except for essential clothes and shoes for which he gets a separate lump sum annually. He's very canny and saves at least £20 per month by buying supermarket staples and making packed lunches. Teaching money management is really important, particularly as they approach indrpendence bit I think it's a good idea to sit and think about what they actually NEED and what they want. DS supplements his allowance by tutoring, cat feeding and other casual jobs.

user139328237 · 09/01/2019 01:08

You make your 17 year old buy his own bread for his packed lunches?
I know MN has some strange ideas but that really is taking it to the next level...

Nothisispatrick · 09/01/2019 08:33

Let's be real though- at 7 &10, we didn't care about that!

Actually primary school aged children are very aware of environmental issues! When we were 7 and 10 it wasn’t in the news all the time and we hadn’t seen blue planet II.

AlexanderHamilton · 09/01/2019 09:29

My 17 year old also gets £15 per week for lunches and often she will do a shop on s Saturday for packed lunch stuff for the following week. I guess the difference is she’s living in lodgings but the principal is the same.

tiggerkid · 09/01/2019 09:37

Don't expect my son to spend his pocket money on any essentials like food, school clothes, study books and other materials, haircuts etc but I do expect him to keep his room in order if he wants his pocket money. I've told him if keeps it like a pigsty, then he won't get his pocket money. I said I consider his pocket money a payment for having his room clean. Maybe a bit harsh but I couldn't find any other way to have him clean his bedroom, and I worried things will start growing there!

2anddone · 09/01/2019 14:40

My ds earns his £10 per week by feeding the dog, emptying the dishwasher, keeping his bedroom clean and tidy, cleaning the inside of the car and doing any other jobs that may pop up.
He has to use his pocket money for going out with friends, to buy friends birthday presents, to buy me and his sister Christmas and birthday presents, to pay 10% of any school trips and to buy any unnecessary clothing (eg has 3 hoodies that fits but wants another!).
I buy all toiletries, school uniform (he pays to replace what's lost), school lunch, clothes and entrance if he comes out with me. I also buy all food but if he is out with his friends and wants to buy lunch out he has to pay as there is a meal provided at hoe that I have already paid for!!
His 10 year old sister doesn't get pocket money and until she is 13 so I pay for everything for her!!

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