To want DP to see to DS during night

[michonn]

As I'm 36w pregnant and frigging exhausted.

DS is nearly 2 and I feel that he's anxious about me being pregnant and has stared to cry in his sleep. I've never, ever expected DP to get up in the night or go into DS as DP has always worked and I've only worked part time.

I'm not asking for much. DS only wants a kiss and a bit of reassurance when he wakes during the night but DH says he 'doesn't hear him'.

I have a low blood count too so most days I just feel dreadful, I struggle to sleep as it is. I could just go with a decent nights sleep

AIBU? I just needed a rant and a little pity party to be honest.

Yanbu, and be needs to get used to helping,

It is actually probably best for your ds that it is shared at least at this point as in a few weeks you may not be there to do it for a few nights so he needs to get used to it being his dad instead

Started to cry in his sleep* (which is really fucking heartbreaking in itself!)

Every time your DH doesn’t hear your toddler then wake him up. Do you have a baby monitor that you can put right next to DH and then you can sleep in the spare room/sofa.

Sirzy that was also part of my thought process. I don't want DS feeling neglected by me when his little brother is here so atleast if dad does it now he won't think it's because of the baby.

Jackshouse believe it or not the baby monitor is on his bedside table because it's shit and needs to be charged constantly but yet he claims not to hear him. I tried to wake him last night but the amount of effort it takes, I just went to see to DS myself.

YANBU. I'm pregnant now and quite tired because of nerve pain that seems to have be exhausted by the evening. Very very occasionally our dog will bark in the night for a wee, normally if it's been belting it down with rain in the evening before, because he is a wuss and scared of the rain.
I just conveniently roll over and kick DH when it happens whilst I'm 'snoozing away'.
I have confessed to this recently and as it's so infrequent he doesn't mind. But you could employ the same tactic.

I'm fully aware I'm enabling his laziness. Everything is such a chore it's much easier to do it myself. But it isn't sustainable at the moment

YANBU but you have to wake him.

Buy a whistle.

I always found the sharp kick helped when DH "didn't hear"

Unfortunately I think this is a common problem when women go on maternity leave - they automatically do the nights because they don't have to worry about getting up for work and their partners just aren't used to it.

YANBU. What does he think will happen when the baby is here - that you'll get up to both children and he can just sleep?

Just to reassure you that mine started this around this age (around 20 months IIRC) and it is a developmental thing, not likely to be associated with you being pregnant. Every time you wake give your dh a nudge and tell him to go in to him.

Sit him down and have a stern talk about your need for sleep too. He needs to help.

YANBU. I’m 38 weeks and could cry with how tired I am sometimes. Luckily my husband isn’t a selfish arse.

He’s getting away with it by pretending to sleep most likely. After the first few nights where you don’t let him just sleep I’m sure he’ll realise he may as well just get up and see to his son.

I can believe he's learn to sleep through it if in the past you've always got up. You're probably more switched on to it if you've always taken on that responsibility. IMO parenting is a 50/50 job. I would be waking him up.

A drop of cold water in his ear might make him more alert.... or a sharp kick. Or can he/you sleep separately so you can get some sleep? Wax ear plugs are fine. Put toddler in with DP for a night and you sleep in the toddlers bed( assuming it’s not a toddler bed)

I give a sharp kick. Dh sleeps much more deeply than me and forgets our children s names / bedrooms in the night and often hits the wall on the way by. But I find it very hard to get back to sleep after I get up so he does at least his share.