DD (nearly 12) and makeup!

[Twitchintervention]

Not sure if quite an AIBU but DD thinks I am most of the time so will stick it here anyway.

Eldest DD is nearly 12 (matter of weeks) and in year 7 at school, she is quite bright and has settled into secondary school work and routine very well and made lots of friends. We have had some great feedback from teachers and tutors.

At home we obviously have the usual “tween” arguments music practice and homework V time moping on phone, keeping room tidy and grunting/sniping at sisters but I’m hoping/presuming this all normal.

She has recently got really into asking for and wearing makeup at school and while neither her dad and I are overly happy about it, went along because she said she felt a bit outcast that she was the only one of her friend group that wasn’t allowed to wear any...

Just to be clear when I say makeup she has various shades of pale and light lipglosses, a brown mascara, an pale brown eye brow pencil (because she felt really self conscious at how, being blonde, how non existent her eyebrows were) and a MAC illuminating cream tester pot that the women very kindly gave her in House of Fraser...

However this has not only crept up since the start of term when she was happy with a clear mascara and lip balm and the makeup routine has now became the centre of her morning. She is still good at time keeping and getting herself out of the house but it’s worrying me that I have not only given her too much, too soon but that she should be putting so much importance on what she looks like 1st thing in the morning and to go to school, especially after walking in this morning to find her blotting her lips in the mirror but her hadn’t actually washed before she had put her deodorant on...

Can’t help but feel her priorities are starting to slip a little.

Wondering if it would be fair to rein it back again for school and how to do it and also what is the normal with everyone else’s DD’s of similar age as this hormonal tween stage is a whole new ball game for us!

Wow can't believe 7 year olds wear makeup. Secondary school year 7 is no surprise.

I don't really see the issue.

She isn't plastering it on and isn't late for school.

I've always been of the mindset that if my DD wants to use makeup then I will let her but show her how to do it properly and that a little goes a long way.

She's 12, reaching her teenage years and as others have said, if you completely ban it, she'll probably just take some to school to leave in a locker and just do it when she gets to school. We had a lot of girls at my school do this and they were the ones who looked ridiculous as they had no guidance on what they were doing.

I grew up in Ireland at a time when most girls didn't start wearing make up until their mid teens, and then only for parties or discos. We used to think English girls looked ridiculous, plastered in make up from an early age.

I still think it, only sadly Irish kids have followed suit. My cousin's daughter, who is ten, arrived over on Christmas Day wearing foundation and red lipstick. Ugh!

Not sure if quite an AIBU but DD thinks I am most of the time so will stick it here anyway

That made me smile, OP!

Have her shower at night, and then she will just need to have a quick flannel wash in the morning that will give her more time to get ready.

If she likes make-up then she likes it. I think you have given her a sensible amount, it will most likely increase over time but set boundaries with timings, if she can't do it in 5-10mins then she is spending way too long on it.

As a teen I used to skip breakfast so I had more time to do my face, so she will most likely find work-arounds anyway!

Move the makeup to the bathroom so she knows she has to do it in there after washing.

especially when we really push for all 3 of our DD’s to know that beauty is much deeper than face value and that there are far more interesting and inspiring things to be and do than being face pretty

While this is obviously great, do they also know that make up isn’t necessary to be “face pretty”, or even the usual tropes of “enhance” “best self” etc.

I have always told my dd’s that i genuinely think people look better without makeup, and in my opinion makeup only masks their natural beauty. I dislike young girls in make up because i do actually think they are prettier without, especially when they use a lot or do the slug eyebrows/draw outside the lipline pout.

My 15 yo has shit loads of makeup. But she sees is as something to have fun with- a night out will be super metallic eyeshadow and winged eyeliner. She doesn't wear it to look “better”, she wears it to look different. She likes the high end brands but finds herself at the Urban Decay end rather than the beigeness of mac.

As such she barely wears any in the day- some concealer for the odd spot. She has super pale irish skin which looks gorgeous au naturel.

My daughter at 12-14 full face of slap. At 17 - usually bare faced apart from evenings out. She just worked out that she preferred the extra 😴