To want a nice house...that stays in good working order!!

[Mamabear12]

I am so frustrated!!! First let me say I am grateful to own a house, however, it’s just so frustrating that something always goes wrong or needs fixing! I just want a nice house :( I fix one thing and 5 things break! Just noticed that someone tampered with our very expensive fireplace and pieces have gone missing. Not sure who it is but now it needs to be fixed....(culprits could be Cleaner’s, kids, dog or au pair!). Every year a leak happens (fine this seems typical London!). There is now a stain on the carpet from where the cleaning lady placed a bottle w soap at the bottom. I tried cleaning it 5 times (but the dirt always seems to get attracted to the one spot, which initially had a soap ring left on the carpet). My son throws his toys so we get marks on the wall, pen marks have been drawn etc.

Arghh! Am I being unreasonable to want a nice house that isn’t being destroyed by everyone?? (I’m not innocent either! I put a wet water cup down on our wooden side table, which caused the nail to come up slightly and make a small crack mark! Did not realise water could do damage so fast on wood!).

I just don’t understand how people can have a put together orderly house when they have a family or other people in the house slowly messing it all up! Little things always seem to go wrong, cracks appear on the wall etc. It’s driving me nuts!!

If you have a family and orderly house - how do you do it?

Or please make me feel better that I’m not the only one...

I’ve made my own relative peace with this - by concluding that every house has problems like these but really, only the people that live in them notice most of them! I don’t believe ‘perfect’ houses exist, there’s always an ongoing list of repairs that need sorting, it’s part and parcel of home ownership, no point stressing about it - a good handyman is a great find though!

How old are you? And what kind of house did you grow up in?

I blame the cleaning lady, the au pair

You just can't get decent staff these days

Terrible , I feel for you

You might get a pasting here OP but I hear you! Dog, toddler, elephant / DH. Scuffed walls, chipped skirting boards, water marks on doors where people don’t dry their hands, smeary windows (dog’s nose and toddler hands), a boiler and bathroom that need sorting. Drives me mad 🤦‍♀️

Stop your kid fro throwing things and drawing on the walls as a starting point? Quite why your au pair would want to break the fireplace I have no idea.

They don’t live in perfect places - worry about more important things and chill and just to add with kids and a dog you’ve no chance do just accept

@Babygrey7

😂😂

I personally have trouble with this too. The other day the chef HEATED the gazpacho soup. What a knob

I keep my au pair locked in the shildrens floor so she can’t steal my expensive fireplace things. Obviously. How irresponsible of you OP.

You're not the only one OP. It's part and parcel of being a homeowner - there's always something on your to-do list.

We have zero DIY skills between us so our biggest problem is being able to find trustworthy tradespeople, as we've been burnt a few times so will only go by recommendations now. It just takes a while to find someone good. A reliable handyman or decorator is worth courting.

At the moment we need to have two bedrooms painted, a wardrobe built and front and back garden landscaped.

I highly recommend scrubbable paint - a bit more expensive but much better value in the long-run. We got Dulux diamond trade Matt matched to F&B colours and it's impervious to any pen/snot/toothpaste your DCs smear over it.

And yes, it's probably the very definition of a first-world problem but it's your reality at the moment.

You probably should have left out the au-pair/cleaner comment, OP!

Seriously though, I work full time and spend a LOT of my spare time doing preemptive and post-problem work on the house and I can still sit on a night and think of jobs to do. The key is a DH who also likes 'knackling' and occasionally thinking 'sod it' and opening some wine instead.... Plus your can see problems that others really don't notice.

They are quite minor issues you have listed so very surmountable.I really thought a list of expensive repairs was upcoming. Over Christmas we had our fridge freezer breakdown, needed to replace the kitchen tap and a toilet seat became loose. The fridge freezer was a pain as a cupboard needed to be moved slightly as it appears that the fridge size we had no longer exists.

My worst domestic week was the when the guttering came down and smashed my car on the drive.

We get small cracks appear, I polyfilla the buggers in to oblivion and forget about them.

I would hesitate to suggest that deep down you are very unhappy about something else or have something else you are dissatisfied with but are focussing on these small things to avoid thinking about the real issue.

I just don’t understand how people can have a put together orderly house when they have a family or other people in the house slowly messing it all up!

Either they are lying or have enough staff to take care of everything without them even realising, or they never touch anyhing😉

You just can't get the staff these days. Perhaps budget would stretch to a maid?

Is it the expectation to have an Instagram home all the time because that doesn’t happen in the real world. You should try watching the new Marie Kondi program on Netflix, even the queen of clean and organisation admits her house gets messy. It’s a part of life, if you expect perfection forever you’ll be disappointed

Get rid of the lot of them - kids, dog, au pair and cleaner! The only way to keep your house nice is to live on your own!

It’s not the minor stuff like you have listed about scuffed paint etc.. it’s the big jobs that frighten and upset me. In the last two months we have had
Broken washing machine (had to be replaced)
Broken shower pump
Leak in conservatory

I don’t want to add up how much it cost to get it all fixed. And because we’ve spent so much money on repairs, it means there’s no money now for cosmetic improvements or new furniture- ds really needs bedroom furniture.

I hear you.. there are currently people fixing our roof. Yesterday the bathroom sprung a leak.

There's always something.

Yup, hear you. DH is very handy but we both work, have the kids and things don't get done. He's booked some annual leave to get the house "finished" but I've noticed the bedrooms need painting again, we did them about three years ago. Haven't finished painting the downstairs yet.

Trying to make my peace with it but it's hard.

DHs stepdad is a handyman/carpenter. He works exclusively for a multi millionaire rock star. This guys flys him round the world to fill cracks, hang toilet roll holders and put shelves up in his various international properties. This seems to me to be the only way to properly keep on top of things!

LOL you should’ve married a rock star !

I didn’t list everything we have done to the house lol. My mom was visiting and decided to replace toilet seats (she loves DIY). The ones she replaced would slide around every time you sit. So we had to re-buy the original toilet seats and put back on! That is just one minor example of things that just keep happening. Or just after I posted this and went down stairs, the dog ran by our kitchen island and the side corner literally fell to the floor!!! It’s fallen before and I will just glue it back, but it’s just frustrating! I grew up in the US, in a brand new house that rarely had problems. But I understand in London houses regularly need upkeep. Plus the rain all the time doesn’t help. The list can go on of little repairs or leaks we have had. Kids bathroom tub leaked down to kitchen. Plumber came to fix and destroyed the tub side panel. Had to get another handy man in to fix. Fix one thing, break another it seems!

And yes, I get in very lucky to have help. I’m just frustrated that I feel like something keeps going wrong and I can’t manage to keep the house in good running order. Or tidy! Even w the cleaner. House is such a mess. And as for the comment of getting my child to stop, I have told him many times not to throw things. He is 5 and doesn’t always listen!!! I can’t follow him around the house all day long to make sure he doesn’t make a pen mark or throw a toy when playing. I sometimes have to shower or cook food, or do something else and the children like to go play upstairs in one of the rooms. The au pair is actually our old au pair and only comes a few times a week, mainly to help with their French homework and reading/speaking as we don’t speak French.

And by all means I’m no perfectionist. Our house has never been super tidy etc. I just wish I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed by things always seeming to need a fix!!!

I want a full time handyman/carpenter!