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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sod splitting bills 50/50

37 replies

gokartdillydilly · 08/01/2019 02:27

AIBU to be really pissed off at DH? His two recent driving convictions have put up our annual car insurance on the family car (I own the family car, which we both drive, he owns a smaller car which I occasionally use) by £400, according to a renewal quote! I am outraged by this as he never seems to learn. I love him but not sure I love his attitude to 'splitting the bills 50/50'... Angry (we earn the same). Should I make him pay the extra £400 straight up and get him to organise his own insurance on his own car?

OP posts:
Justagirlwholovesaboy · 08/01/2019 02:31

You are right to be annoyed with him, but surely all money in a household is family money? If he is sorry could he try to spend less on nights out or hobbies to show he’s sorry? Is he sorry and willing?

Monty27 · 08/01/2019 02:33

Take him off your insurance

puddled2 · 08/01/2019 02:37

What Monty said

Original poster
gokartdillydilly · 08/01/2019 02:39

Problem is we share the driving as we have rellies far and wide. It would be cutting off my nose as I'd have to do all the driving (his car is too tiny for the whole family) I'm going to need to go badass on him and get him to cough up. It might make him take more notice of speed limit signs. I am not paying for his idiotic driving mistakes when I have had a clean licence for 20+ years Halo

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratcett · 08/01/2019 02:42

Thing is you define what 'bills' are within your relationship. For example in our house, gym clothes are a shared health expense while really expensive and beautiful dress shoes are pocket money and we pay ourselves.

Maybe in your house basic insurance is bills and stupid-idiot-criminal insurance is pocket money.

Monty27 · 08/01/2019 02:43

Up to you. Pay his insurance or drive yourself. Or he pays it and drives the family.

Original poster
gokartdillydilly · 08/01/2019 02:43

Ahhhh. I do seem to have answered my own dilemma. Just needed a late-night rant after my late-night Compare the Meerkat sesh! I'll show him the quote and see what he suggests is fair!

OP posts:
Justagirlwholovesaboy · 08/01/2019 02:44

Sorry but taking thr hubby off the insurance for speeding fines sounds ridiculous. Is this what people would really do in a relationship? Surely a relationship means working stuff out, not that he hasn’t messed up. But if he’s short on money she will be too as they have household bills to pay???

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 08/01/2019 02:47

I agree household expenses split joint, entertainment, fashion, nights out for him comes out of his wallet. If he raised the insurance he may need to give up something in return

Monty27 · 08/01/2019 03:02

Maybe giving up the smaller non family car will compensate.
OP has first call on the family car though.
Otherwise he has to give something up to pay out 50/50

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/01/2019 03:34

I understand your dilemma. People are allowed to make mistakes. But they should pay for them or how do they learn? I’m always surprised when married couples don’t own money jointly.

supersop60 · 08/01/2019 03:41

But why should OP be worse off because of her DP's poor driving? He should realise that choices have consequences.

wombat1a · 08/01/2019 03:50

Why is the family car your car? Surely it's the families and surely so is the smaller second car. Getting him to pay the extra could back fire, if you have an accident tomorrow which is classed as your fault then you can bet your insurance will be hiked and why shouldn't he just say to you that's your fault you pay it all?

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/01/2019 03:55

He should pay the extra out of his "pocket" money or whatever you call your personal spending money. Maybe that way it will hit home just what his carelessness is actually costing. Similar happened with my dad and it wasnt until mum refused to contribute to the increased premium (they have always had seperate finances) that he copped on. Coincidentally, he didnt get a single speeding fine after that......Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/01/2019 03:56

And I would love, just once, to read a thread like this where someone doesnt say "But surely all your money is FAMILY MONEY?!" with the implication that anyone who keeps seperate finances is monumentally unreasonable.....people do things differently Shocker

Graphista · 08/01/2019 04:50

He needs to actually have to face the consequences of HIS actions.

The normal insurance price - 50/50 split.

The increase due to his dangerous actions - his money pays. If he can't afford that he's off the insurance.

Driving is a privilege not a right and speeding is dangerous.

Has he not had to do a speed awareness course?

daisychain01 · 08/01/2019 05:31

If he was within a certain threshold of speeding he could have asked to go on a speed awareness course. You still pay the £100 fine but that's used to fund the course.

Then he wouldn't have had to declare it to the insurance company that he was caught speeding.as they let you off, and you don't get points either. But you can only do that once in 3 years. It is helpful and fair for people making a one off mistake, and the course is really informative.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 08/01/2019 05:38

Where does it say his driving conviction(s) was speeding?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 08/01/2019 05:40

Don’t worry just spotted it! The OP made it sound worse.

AlexaAmbidextra · 08/01/2019 05:49

Who are these people who think that if you are married you have no right to anything of your own! Why can you not have your own personal money or car etc? Not everything has to be ‘the family’s’.

Itsnotme123 · 08/01/2019 06:44

When I was married, we had separate accounts, no joint money at all. Just another reason why I felt on my own and not in a relationship.

If I had an accident though he would pay the increased premium. If I had a parking ticket or fine, I would have to pay it.

I think it depends on the relationship and earning power.

Janedoughnut · 08/01/2019 13:18

Have you checked prices with other companies as sometimes automatic renewals can go up a heck of a lot.

theworldistoosmall · 08/01/2019 13:22

Of course he should pay the extra. If he didn't speed then the cost wouldn't be as high. Same with any fines he gets, he should pay out of his spends.

ItsQuietTime · 08/01/2019 13:26

He should pay the extra £400, it's an extra expense brought solely on by him being an idiot.

BarbaraofSevillle · 08/01/2019 13:34

He should pay the extra and he should only be insured on one car if him being on insurance costs a lot extra.

Or if he wants to be on both cars, the extra cost needs to come out of his personal spending money.

Perhaps he also needs to take some extra driving lessons and drive more safely as he will be looking at a ban if he makes any more 'idiotic mistakes' within the next two or three years.