My child won't sleep through

[SleepingStandingUp]

Aibu to think that by 3.5 yrs he should be sleeping pretty solidly for 12 hours a night so I have some vague hope of 7???

Normal routine is sleep by8 pm (bed routine starts at 7) then will wake up somewhere between midnight - 1 am and 4-5 am then up for good about 7.50 am.

I go to bed about 11.30-12 ambut know he'll wake so can't sleep. Sometimes he'll sleep til about 2 and I still can't sleep.

So far tonight he's woke up about 11, and just. Taken several attempts and about 30 minutes. He just wants to hug me!! I've placated him with a drunk of water and his troll figures and he's gone to sleep safe in the knowledge there are 4 trolls in his bed!! But he'll likely wake again and need a cuddle.

Aibu to just buy a full sized bed and sleep in there with him??? He had got better but latest hospital stay before Xmas has broke him.

The other day between DS waking and DH snoring I got to sleep at 5.30. Thankfully weekend so I could lie in.

How do I get him to sleep through?

Spoke to soon, he's awake and about to cry....

My sympathy to you, no advice as I never solved the issue and the first time my son slept the whole night was when he started in reception class. Hard times, sorry X (yes to the big bed)

He'll do really sporadic all nighters and then I want to check he's still breathing and still don't sleep because my brain is waiting for it...

I hoped half day nursery would help. Back tomorrow, maybe the renewed tiredness will help. Reception not til September and I'm meant to get a job then so I have to be awake!!!

I don't know how people "adult" in the real world on so little sleep!!

Why on earth are you checking that he's "still breathing?" Perhaps you are the reason his sleep is being disturbed.

My eldest didn’t reliably sleep through until she started sharing a room with her younger sister when she was 4 (her sister is 18 months younger). Her younger sister started sleeping through at 9 months! Dd3 is now nearly 4 months old - I hope she’s like the middle one, the eldest nearly broke me!

I don't think my 9 yr old sleeps through BUT he is under strict instructions that other people are not to be woken unless there is a problem, and he is to rest quietly in bed if it is night time.

Night before last was pretty spectactular, but he was still awake at midnight, and got up at 5.30 I often hear him, but being able to roll over and go back to sleep is a million times better than dragging yourself out of bed.

Good luck!

I would start at 6pm, and hopefully he will be asleep by 7pm.

I had to do this with DD. She was a different child, I saw it on t.v and thought it had ro be worth a try. It took about 3 nights.

She sleeps til 7-8 a.m

My 3.5 is awake now, never sleeps through. I'm constantly exhausted!

My 3.5 ds has just woken too. Typically he sleeps 8-3 then wakes and shouts for me to hold his hand for at least 30 mins. He just woke and asked to poo, did so then went back to sleep 😫
He sometimes goes through (when heating is on usually) but mostly doesn’t yet

Same with my 3.5 year old too.
Usual wake up times are 11pm and 3am

My older one never slept through once til around 3.5 and now she’s nearly 6 and has been a great sleeper. If you aren’t up late working though, I wouldn’t be staying up til midnight. Get yourself to bed earlier and it will be much easier to cope until nights get better.

Mine was still doing this at that age, it nearly broke us. I'd bring bed time forward to 630 then you might get them asleep earlier.

We also used white noise on an iPad (still do and she's 5) which helped.

For 9 months she woke screaming at anywhere between 11/2/3, we took it in turns to go into her.

I have to say she's always had a double bed and it is a life saver, one of us gets in with her and she goes straight back to sleep...

Some children are simply poor sleepers. If he has been hospitalized recently that will likely make it worse.

You may need to teach him that he is only to call you if it's an emergency of some kind.

You might not be far off the mark. Time for an adult size bed? Not with you sleeping in it too though. I think we put DD1 in a single at 3yo.

I recall a month of really awful sleeping on dd2s part when she was 5mo. One night we moved her to a cot in her own room and she slept through. Every night from then onwards.

Worth a try? We've just got DD1 a new mattress and she had been taking ages to go to sleep at night but that's stopped (for now) since getting the mattress.

My oldest only started sleeping through at about 5 years. He's almost 6 and now mostlysleeps through apart from if he needs the loo. He's only ever slept maximum of 10 hours too.

Why on earth are you checking that he's "still breathing?

I didn't, I swear. But when he never sleeps through and he finally does and I the only one who gets the oh shit why hasn't he woken up yet panic? Just me then? 😂 I lie in bed and talk myself down whilst having intrusive thoughts of being wrong but I do not disturb the sleeping child!!

I do however have to check him when we come to bed as sometimes he can get wrapped up in his o2 tube and he's been known to wrap it round his neck

My four year old just gets in with me then goes straight back to sleep ....doesn't like to sleep alone

The fellow sleep deprived parents are making me feel better, thanks.

Yeah he's fell out once of twice so def needs bigger but he had the sides up until September last Yr as concern over his falling out and strangling himself in his o2.

You may need to teach him that he is only to call you if it's an emergency of some kind he doesn't call me though, he half awake cries then escalates to screams. He's only just starting to talk too and I get no sense out of him in dark apart from asking for water bottle, music or toy.
Last wake up I got "olls!". * I moved them to where he could see them, he counted them and went to sleep. He didn't actually wake up when I wrote earlier, he cried and rolled over and went quiet so I didn't go in.

My 3 year old has never slept through and is awful to put to bed. Bed and bath time can take 3/4 hours. We’ve tried many strategies and nothing has made any difference.

It’s awful. I’ve been nearly brought to insanity by it. Don’t do why I’m doing it again (written as she bounces a 3 week old)

This sounds really obvious, but have you tried sticker charts and a groclock?

Ds2 was always sleep resistant and when he turned 3 I decided I was done, made a sticker chart and he chose the reward after a week... Within a fortnight he was sleeping through. I'd always hated the idea of sticker charts as a bit manipulative - but turns out that some kids are immune to reason and gentle techniques but 100% bribeable with ice cream

Failing this, you can try rapid return - loads of information if you Google search. The key is to be consistent. I realise that's easier said than done with a 3 week old but with a new baby you do need the space for yourself, and also because it's not fair to your newborn if the elder is dominating the night time.

Good luck!

Is it possible that he's waking because the 02 tube is restricting his movement?

Obviously there's no easy answer if that's the case, apart from trying to teach him to go back to sleep without you.

And in reference to checking if they are still breathing, I did that on the rare occasions they slept through as babies, woke up in a blind panic because the baby hadn't woken me 3 times as usual. And if your child is on oxygen then it's absolutely reasonable to check they are still breathing!!

Ds3 is 4 and still wakes most nights. He knows if he gets into our bed and snuggles back to sleep it's fine, but if he was up making noise it would not be ok. It really doesn't bother me, most nights I don't even remember him coming in.

My 5 year old still doesnt sleep through, neither does the 2 year old (because of the 5 year old)
I asked for melatonin, it did fuck all and made him wired, I've just learnt to chuck him in bed by 7, and go to bed at 10 at the latest then I get atleast 4/5 hours

We also have jellyfish lamp light to watch before bed.

And in reference to checking if they are still breathing, I did that on the rare occasions they slept through as babies, woke up in a blind panic because the baby hadn't woken me 3 times as usual. And if your child is on oxygen then it's absolutely reasonable to check they are still breathing!!

This.

Ignore Aqua. My partner and I check on our kids every night before we go to sleep, and none of them has an o2 tube and medical issues. My baby is horrendous but I aim to start operation “get the child to sleep better” today! I think a big bed is a great idea. Maybe your presence will mean that he just drops back off to sleep if he wakes.

Is it possible that he's waking because the 02 tube is restricting his movement?
Yeah sometimes he gets wrapped in it, which wakes him and he's. Not awake enough to sit up, unwrap himself and lie down.

but if he was up making noise it would not be ok as soon as he rouses he cries. So it's not like awake, OK what do I do now? I'll be nosiy. He's literally lying in bed, eyes closed, crying. He'll rouse enough to need hug but not to talk etc. I did leave him Inn bed awake last night, he chatted for a bit and drifted. I say "momma going to bed now, OK" and that helps so I do try andeave when he's awake

I asked about melatonin when he was even worse before but it slightly suppresses the breathing which is fine on an otherwise healthy kid but not one with chronic lung disease unfortunately

He has taken himself off to bed earlier before (trailing Daddy who does bed routine) but still doesn't sleep any earlier. It used to be even later so an hour for dressed, books etc and he will fall asleep with only a little fight. Holidays and weekends he could sleep in but won't. Found if I put his light on he'll play then come in to us when he's had enough but if it's dark he literally doesn't move from the bed except at a push out to grab toy / water and back in. L