To think girls are growing up too fast!

[muddyduck]

My dd is six and her best friend of the same age came over yesterday. The friend had her dancing to Black Magic by Little Mix on our Alexa. Dd had never heard the song before but the friend was posing and pouting singing "make the boys want more". I must admit I cringed inwardly and felt a tad uncomfortable.

As well as this, one of her other friends has got an instagram account and another puts out YouTube videos. Although the parents closely manage them and control what the children see and put out, surely they're too young to have public online profiles. They may be identified by unsavoury adults and also it makes them concerned with counting likes and followers when they should be just carefree and not caring about the opinions of others.

Am I unreasonable and out of touch with normal six year old girl behaviour?

I think a lot of the time younger girls don't know what it means (honestly, I thought lines like 'Doing it all night long' referred to dancing until I was about 14), so it's not immediately harmful in that way, more in an insidious, giving them an idea that being a girl is all about pleasing the boys way. Though I think if girls have other things in their life - hobbies, interests, the harm can be very much reduced because they know there is more to life than being hot. So like all things, in moderation.

DD (10) watches Youtube, on my account so I see what she watches, and she's into slime, rollercoasters/waterslides, puzzle questions and some annoying but otherwise harmless vloggers at the moment. She finds 'sexy' videos a bit silly (her reaction to Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda' - 'Oh my God! You can see all of her butt except the hole!')

I kind of agree with you OP. My DD 'likes Little Mix' but really only knows one of their songs and wouldn't recognise them by sight. I don't let her watch music videos and no way would I take her to their concert May as well take her to a strip club!

Her and her friends are more into JoJo Siwa. DD has a JoJo doll that says "#besties, not boys" which I think is awful for a toy aimed at young girls. DD asked me what it meant.

It is sad the way these things are put on young girls.

I don’t have much truck with ‘it’s harmless, they don’t know what it means.’ Not yet they don’t, but soon enough they will, and it will have become normalised to the point of self fulfilment for some. When I was little my mum used to tell me I’d grow up and meet a nice man who’d look after me and we’d get married. Consequently this was the only way I could see my life panning out. I did get married, to a not very nice man as it happens, despite me never being remotely interested in boys or men. I just did it because that was what I was expected to do, what I expected to do.

I too sang to ‘Like A Virgin’ when I was little, and had no idea what it meant. The difference is that that was considered saucy in those days. It was the exception rather than the norm. Now most popular songs have overtly sexual lyrics and the videos are full of nearly naked women, and getting naked and advertising sexual availability is the way to get famous. It’s no accident that the richest, most popular female pop stars have to get their kit off to make it.

What we see nowadays is nothing like the 80s. Women and men in the 80s were much more diverse in their presentation and gender bending was seen as cool. Skip forward 30 years and restrictive gender stereotyping is back with avengance, to the point where kids are being taught that if they don’t conform they must have been born in the wrong body. Add to that the tsunami of exploitative, and frequently violent pornography available at the click of a button and guess what? Girls are being overtly groomed into being compliant sex objects almost from birth. It’s hardly surprising that we’re seeing men killing their girlfriends and dates and claiming rough sex gone wrong, Teen Vogue publishing articles glorifying anal sex aimed at young teens and more and more dangerous and debasing sex acts being normalised and expected for our young people.

How anybody can see all this and insist it’s all harmless fun is beyond me. I’d hate to be growing up in this degrading and exploitative environment. It’s no wonder young girls have such a high rate of MH problems and self harm. People need to open their eyes. None of the things happen in isolation, and as the old adage goes, sex sells. Dig deep enough and you’ll find all the dots are connected, so no, it’s not harmless fun, it’s deliberate, it’s exploitative and it’s deeply misogynistic.

I agree, and I really wish that social media would fuck off as I think it's one of the biggest concerns for our children.

Women and men in the 80s were much more diverse in their presentation and gender bending was seen as cool.

DP and I were talking about this a few days ago. Who/where are the current equivalent of Annie Lennox, Alison Moyet or Tracy Chapman?

I'm no prude, but the sexualised, almost fetishistic, outfits worn by some of these artists really make me despair. It's turning the clock back to the 50s in terms of gender stereotyping but with 21st century levels of bare flesh.

@LakieLady - well, we do have people like Christine & the Queens, the lead singer of Years and Years- I don't know how visible they are to younger kids though.

I agree that the 'sexy' side of things has got more aggressive and overt since we were kids, moving from 'suggestive' dance moves, for example, to all-out simulation of fucking basically. DD has basically decided pop is stupid (for the time being) at least, so I'm not going to complain about that!

I just don't understand why parents put a very young child on the internet like that and risk their safety. You don't have to do it.