To hate it when people say 'if you're not married you're legally single'

[DrunkOnCalpol]

Because it's not true, there is no law defining the marital status of unmarried people. If you're not married, legally you're just not married, but that description doesn't enable people to put unmarried couples down so effectively.
Some laws treat co habiting couples the same as married, some don't. Yes people should be informed of the legal differences, but there's no need for some people to essentially say serious unmarried relationships don't exist.

I mean when you're completing forms for things like car insurance the options are married, divorced, civil partnership or single. There's no long term relationship options that I can think of.

Yes there are laws for long term co habiting but I'm not sure it's a recognised marital status

If you’re unmarried then you are single. You can have a joint mortgage etc with anyone — if you don’t like the idea then maybe cohabiting isn’t your cup of tea?

There is usually a “co-habiting” option I think?

Technically if you're not legally married then you are single though. There isn't a legal category for long term relationship and its not treated like a marriage in law either

But it’s true legally.

I admit, I can't think of any law which treats unmarried cohabiting couples the same as married ones. Which laws are you thinking of, OP?

But it is true.

there's no need for some people to essentially say serious unmarried relationships don't exist

That’s not what they’re saying

It’s true though.

If you are not married, what are you? Unmarried

Lots of different kinds and types of relationships exist, labelled in all sorts of ways.

Why are you offended? Are you unmarried but in a long term relationship and getting negative comments?

I mean, of course they exist. But as far as the law I’m concerned if you’re not married, or civilly partnered, you are technically single. What’s the problem?

Hi doughnut,

Do you actually have an example of that? I just had a quick look but couldn't find one. Here for example is the Zürich application form.
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.zurichinsurance.ie/internet/irelandgi/sitecollectiondocuments/car/document%2520download/45898privatecarin4bb187.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjzh5zcn9zfAhU0sXEKHYyUCwMQFjACegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw3h3JW21d0cHS1Q_2mvrehg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.zurichinsurance.ie/internet/irelandgi/sitecollectiondocuments/car/document%2520download/45898privatecarin4bb187.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjzh5zcn9zfAhU0sXEKHYyUCwMQFjACegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw3h3JW21d0cHS1Q_2mvrehg

I know you arent as 'protected' in a relationship if you are not married

but surely its true

If not legally married then you must be legally single

If you're not married you're legally single. Or divorced. Or widowed.

Just tell people that you’re married.

They mean that in the eyes of the law and in terms of legal protection, a cohabiting couple is no different to a pair of housemates, friends or siblings living together, sharing a mortgage or tenancy agreement and some finances. It’s isnt meant to be pejorative, more a reminder perhaps to women who put themselves in vulnerable positions in cohabiting relationships.

"I admit, I can't think of any law which treats unmarried cohabiting couples the same as married ones. Which laws are you thinking of, OP?"
The Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 treats cohabiteees in the same way as spouses when it comes to challenging a will. There are many other examples.

If you're not legally married, then yes, your status is officially 'single'.

Well legally maritally you Are single. I'm no feminist I like being 'married' and having that status so obviously marriage is for me. If you would prefer to be recognised in that way why not get married?

Why do you feel it's putting people down, what a strange reaction, you aren't married that's simply a fact.

Do you wish to get married is that why it stings?

If you're cohabiting it changes your car insurance - no need to be married. My partner's went down when he mentioned he lived with his partner rather than a housemate, because you're considered to be more reliable. (This was about 10 years ago though, so might have changed since.)

In a very basic legal sense you are considered to be single. However, you might still have wills, pensions, insurance etc which connect you. It's not putting you down to say you're legally single, but it is very simplistic. I can't think of any laws that treat cohabiting couples the same as married ones though. Do you mean for the purposes of benefits, perhaps?

Presumably the point is that unmarried and single are not the same thing. In plain English single means without a stable sexual partner. Lots of unmarried people don't fit into that category. In legal English the word single has no one definition as far as I'm aware. I'd be interested if anyone can point to one.

The reason many members of MN are quite strident about marriage is not to do with some sort of backwoods Victorian outlook and everything to do with the sheer volume of women on this site over the years saying :

"we never got married because he convinced me it wasn't important, my name wasn't on the house because he convinced me it wasn't important"

And the number of women who are completely screwed over when their "partner" leaves and they've had the rug swept out and all they can claim is CSA because they weren't married.

It isn't to sneer, or belittle, it's to help empower