To be stuck with what to do with them???

[MissyCooper]

Two lovely girls. Aged 4 and 18 months.

Toddler is pretty wild. Always into mischief. A hundred miles an hour. Attention span of approximately 45 seconds.

Four year old is quite quiet and timid. She’s quite “needy” for want of a better word. Example, if we go to the park or soft play she likes me or DH to stay close to her and doesn’t like to go off by herself. It’s a little bit...inconvenient sometimes, but it is what it is.

I have them on my own two days a week and to be honest I’m struggling to fill the days. I struggle to think of things to do which suits the two of them. In the park or softplay I obviously need to stay with the toddler but it means DD1 is glued to my side. Alternatively she will pick something to do and demand I help her and I can’t be in two places at once.

We go for walks and run errands like shopping etc but it means the toddler is confined to the buggy.

We draw/paint, bake, play games etc but toddler is too little and impatient and will just ruin the game or run off so I have to abandon what I’m doing etc.

Just at a loss! At the moment there is peace in the valley as they are parked in front of Paw Patrol. They are watching more tv than I am happy with because I need them to just stay put sometimes (like right now while I’m making the tea).

Any advice?!

Does dd1 go to preschool/school yet? Any friends with similar age children you can meet?

Swimming?

Playgroups?

Junior gym?

She goes to nursery three days per week while I’m at work. She starts school later this year. We do occasionally meet up with friends but not many.

I don’t think swimming would work it would be hard with the two of them by myself. But I’ll definitely look into playgroups

What is junior gym

Ebay?? 😂

I'm similar op even though my youngest is nearly 1. I have to go off and change nappies or put down for naps what seems like every 5 minutes. It's hard!

Can you go to park / soft play/ play cafe/ trampoline park etc with a friend of dd1's? (Plus parent!!) She might be more inclined to run off and play with a friend?

You need to build her resilience. A 4yr old shouldn't be that clingy I don't think. They should be in to everything too.

It’s just her. I’m not sure there is a “four years old should...”. She is who she is. She likes our company. She gets on fine at nursery when we’re not there.

Sounds like you're doing fine. She's at nursery 3 days per week already so I'd be quite happy to have them as easy fairly "chill" days - no point making things hard for yourself.

I know what you mean though as I have an 18 month old and 4 month old and do struggle while I'm on my own and feel the older one is not getting enough stimulation. I think it's just mums guilt

She sounds lovely.

I'd try to go to toddler groups a few times a week - I found them a lifeline. Also check your local library - they should have events on there that are suitable for both of them.

I'd aim for a routine, though. Playgroup or library every morning, home for lunch, then to the shops and the park every afternoon. I'd encourage watching Disney films, too - I loved it when my kids were able to watch films.

Thank you. She is lovely. She’s really clever and kind. Just hard work. I’m currently lying on her bed to get her to sleep. As I do every night. Joys.

Yes I feel like the toddler demands a lot of attention so in the house DD1 probably is left to her own devices more than she otherwise would be. I do try to make it equal but it’s difficult. She’s quite happy in the house with her toys though. DD2 is a different kettle of fish. She can be like a caged animal if she doesn’t get out and about 😂

I'd try to have to. E doing activities focused on each one - will toddler entertain herself with toys for any length of time? Can 4 year old be enlisted as a helper with toddler when you're doing something focused on her?

Any library story or rhyme time sessions on your days off? You may end up chasing the toddler but at least the 4yr old could find it engaging. The library in general might be a winner depending on the set up, if the toddler can fairly safely Clomp about a bit and you can explore some books with the older one.

Mine are 3 years and 16 months and I'm in a similar situation, although luckily my oldest has got more independent since little one was born. It's probably due to me being exhausted (toddler still doesn't sleep well and I used to average 4 hours broken sleep a night) and the options being sit with me while I have a coffee or go and play. I did discover I can actually say no to some demands of going into soft play/climbing frames/playing at playgroups and the world doesn't crumble which was a revelation 😂 If your eldest just won't go by herself then do you have anyone with a similar aged kid who you could have a weekly playdate with? Even someone you don't know that well yet, as I'm sure they'll be feeling the same. It's hard and boring on your own!! Also about the TV - don't beat yourself up, it sounds like you do loads with them despite the frustrating circumstances and I definitely use too much TV when we're at home. When every activity lasts about 20 seconds you need to give yourself a breather sometimes!
Sorry that's not really helpful, but you're not alone!!

Junior gym - my local gymnastics club did a class for 2-5 year olds. It was perfect for active toddlers.