a little bit of help would be great

[alittlebitofhelpwouldbegreat]

I don't really think Im being unfair but feel free to tell me if I am. I am currently drawing up a bit of a rota for my children to help with some chores around the house, just wondered what peoples thoughts were really. If your children help out what do they, what are age etc etc...

I have a 13 year old and an almost 7 year old, both boys, who do nothing at all to help around the house. Whilst the younger one would most def help & be happy to if asked, the older one has become incredibly lazy & I have got to the end of my tether with being treated like an unpaid cleaner! Before I get shouted at I know I am a mum to boys but I don't really want to bring them up thinking there will always be someone else to clean up their mess.

My husband runs his own business and is very busy working 6 sometimes 7 days a week & he still finds time to do bits round the house aswell as most of the cooking. As of this week I will be starting work 5 days a week in his business so will not have the time to do everything on my own. I will need a litlte bit of help is it wrong to expect the kids to pick up a little bit of slack??

Should have added Im talking about things like feeding the dog, setting the dinner table, putting the dustbins out, helping load/unload the dishwasher etc. Not like cleaning toilets or doing the washing!

My three boys do all that 5,7,10. Dad works away so they have to muck in.

Not unreasonable at all.

My 4yo knows it's his 'job' to help me unload the shopping from the car, lay the table and tidy up his toys. The 2yo helps too.

I'm not shouting but what does:
I know I am a mum to boys mean? This isn't a male thing - don't fall for that bollocks!

Of course it’s not unreasonable to get them to help. We don’t have a rotaor anything like that, but my 3DC have always been expected to help if asked. Mostly things like dusting, cleaning sinks, emptying the dishwasher, clearing the table after dinner, sorting washing etc.

The eldest (aged 17) will now just pitch in when he sees something needs doing, but the younger too still need to be asked.

And I’m not sure what your DC being boys has to do with anything - I have two boys and a girl, and they’re all expected to help

I've trained mines from a very young age they are in charge of tidying the living room / their bedrooms. They help putting the shopping away. They also have the bathroom to do ( I do the toilets but oldest does bathtub, middle bidet and floor youngest, the sink)
They also do the vacuuming in the corridor / steps and tidy up the front (shoes...)
They are also expected to clear the table after meals, do their beds and fold their clothes for school. The oldest one does her own washing.
They are 6/7 and 13. They sometimes moan. I don't give them a treat for it because I believe its their home and they are responsible for maintaining clean. Also I'm recovering from cancer so they understand that I can't do it all.

My MIL has her younger son's impeccably trained. Shame my husband seemed to escape the same training 🤔 do it! They will be much better grown men for it!

Groggy A conversation over xmas where MIL mentioned that boys shouldn't be expected to help out cleaning!! I was very shocked, didn't think people (esp mil) still thought like that!

LeukaeLucky sounds like you are running an amazing house, well done, hope the recovery is going well x

You will be teaching your children life skills. Anyone who lives in a team should contribute to the successful running of that team. It’s about respect for others. Teach them to shop, cook, plan meals, manage money, do some simple diy and sewing. Make it as much fun as possible -allow for mistakes and minor disasters, but not for laziness and disrespectful behaviour. Thank them and praise their efforts and expect them to do the same for yours. You’ll raise three wonderful men and they’ll (maybe) realise what a wonderful person you were to give them the skills they need to be good adult men.

Haha thanks
I'm recovering slowly but surely thanks
My middle one is a boy and he's actually the best one at tidying

This has to be something that you and your husband tackle together. He should have your back on this.

Google for age appropriate chores. You'll be shocked!! Why are you bringing up your boys to be a burden on their partners?

Thanks for all the great advice, it’s good to know we are thinking & heading in the right direction! X