Aibu to wonder if this happen to anyone else?

[whatsthepointthen]

Earlier today I went shopping, after the kids (4) wanted macdonalds so we went in. There was no seating so I ordered it to take away.
As we came out my son asked for his drink so I went over to a near by bench and placed the bags down and gave it to him.
The children then asked if they could sit on the bench to eat so I said it was fine.

After what could have only been 5 minutes a homeless man opposite screamed “Oi get those kids to shut up!!” I was really shocked, I told him there was no need to shout at us, he said he was trying to sleep (in one of the most busiest spots in the area?!) I get that he is homeless but it isnt an excuse to shout at a woman with small children. There is no way he would have done it if I was a man. I had a go at him because tbh im sick of people being nasty.
This isnt the first time this kind of thing has happened so Im wondering if this happens to other people?! its to the point that I hate going out, yes my children can be loud but im not sure what I can do about that. I cant lock them up indoors, I beg my son to lower his voice (he is the loudest one) but he seems to be incapable and claims he doesnt know how to. My ex use to tell me I was making it up when I told him about things like this happening because it never happened when he was around, because men dont do this to other men!

Like I said stuff like this makes me hate going out, does this kind of thing happen to others aswell?

I think what you are trying to say OP is that you’ve tried a few things you have thought of and they didn’t work. And you’re looking for different angles/opinions on this problem.
Forget the homeless man - this episode was clearly just triggering the idea of the problem.

I think children are no different from adults. In order to change a behavior you have to 1) admit /understand / see that there is an issue (as in a child might genuinely not grasp the issue) and 2) motivate to change
3) work on this like a muscle you never knew you had

I suggest you make him realize that he is a bit louder. You can show him a microphone reading (like on a computer or phone app) which shows volume spoken

Get him to practice an “actors whisper” (audible and clear whisper) or new voice in order to change the volume. Maybe he slows down as he speaks, he does a hand motion to remind him of volume needed etc. you can start it off as an evening game where you all try it. Then when you are out remind him of the actions

You mention 4 kids? Perhaps each one gets a “challenge” related to speaking so that everyone is making an effort?

Also, pick the moments to reinforce good behavior but don’t giveup

Does your DS have a hearing problem?

Thanks waywardfruit just wanted to hear if this happens to other people.

These men can clearly control themselves when I was with my 6ft 4 17 stone ex so its obviously not that much of an issue to them. My sons teacher said he is loud, he is awaiting an asd assessment but cant see why that would make him loud so dont think its connected? I think his hearing is fine as he doesnt seem to struggle to hear anyone its just the volume of his voice.

It's not unusual for children with ASD to speak with a loud voice.

This page looks at ways you can help your autistic child lower their voice
www.livestrong.com/article/1001651-children-autism-lower-voice/

p.s. sorry that should be child with autism not autistic child, no offence meant just typed without proof reading.

Great advice, DasPepe.