To ask if things should be 50/50 in a relationship?

[MassiveMug]

I’ve recently started seeing someone and even though i try and pay my own way, he asked if I could afford to do this as I am a single parent and he earns a good wage and he doesn’t mind paying for me.

Before him, I went out in a date with someone and he told me (on the first date) that he expects me to go halves on everything

I have also found this on other dates I’ve gone on.

I like to try and pay for myself, but how can I keep up with a bloke that is in a good wage and I’m a single parent with not much money?

Is this the norm these days. Fairly new to the dating scene again.

I’ll stand back and wait for the backlash which I’m sure there will be

If he happy to pay then why not - least he understands you have a child 😁

As you said, some dates expect 50/50, some happy to pay. Depends on the parties involved and what they want/expect.

As you're seeing someone that is happy to pay more, I don't see the problem. You can contribute in other ways-pay for after meal drinks, buy cheaper meals out, or cook nice meals at home for him.

Enjoy.

You're off to a good start. A man who is thoughtful enough to consider your financial position and family circumstances gets lots of points from me.

I hope that guy didn't get a second date?! I'm not saying guys should always pay and LTB if he doesn't offer and you go dutch, but to make that kind of statement on a first date is grim. In the early days it's about wanting to spend time getting to know that person, surely?

You'll probably be warned that your new guy must be setting you up for financial abuse etc, but I think he sounds considerate of your circumstances and keen to spend time with you.

“Fair” doesn’t mean “equal”

If he wants to go to a fancy restaurant and you are on minimum wage unreasonable to expect you to go half.

If he’s happy to pay and you are happy to let him, what’s the problem?

elvis no he didn’t get a second date. He conveniently made that comment as ‘my’ round of drinks were due as well

He sounds nice.

When I met my now husband, he had so much more disposable income than me. Out of pride, I wanted to always pay my half but it just wasn’t feasible unless we really curbed our activities.

I think effort as well as money counts. Like, we’d go for a night away and he’d pay for the hotel but I’d always put in a lot of effort to finding us a nice restaurant or activity that I’d pay for.

I think it’s the willingness to pay your way that’s important. It’s undair to expect anyone to pay for you bitif you've offered and he said no then it’s fine to take him at his word.
As another PP said it’s about contributing what you can according to your income rather paying in exactly the same.
He obviously values your company enough to not mind chipping in a bit more so he can share the things he likes doing with you.

I have never had a romantic relationship with a man that wanted me to pay on dates - I never will to be honest. I once went on a date with a guy who hinted he would want us to split the bill going forward. I insisted on paying it all the next date to show that we won't be proceeding romantically and just as friends.

I'm aware that it's the modern thing for couple to split all bills. It's just not for me. I'd rather remain single.

If he earns well and he's assuring you that you don't have to worry about paying for dates, that's a good thing IMO.

"I'm aware that it's the modern thing for couple to split all bills. It's just not for me. I'd rather remain single."

Good luck with that.. 😂

I think a nice thing to do is to alternate dates. He can take you out for a nice dinner if he's happy to pay and then the next time it's your turn and you can plan something a bit more low-key, but personal, like cooking dinner at home or a picnic or something if you don't have the finances to "wine and dine" him.

My dad is quite well off financially, and I know that he would prefer to pay for his partner than to not go to nice places, or to have to go to them by himself. Maybe your partner is the same?

FWIW, when I was first dating my husband he insisted on paying - he had more disposable income than me so I agreed, but asked if I could pay for the drinks. So he paid more which he wanted to do, but at least I didn't feel I'd taken advantage of him. :)