To want to downsize

[Wotter]

I am over stuff. Having stuff. Cleaning stuff. Looking after stuff.

How much space does one need for a family of five? Two adults, three children under 10. What size house do we "need"?

Why don't you purge the stuff you have in the house you are currently in and then see how the space works for you.

With 3 dcs and 2 adults you'll have lots of stuff. Moving to a smaller house won't change that you'll just find that there's less room for all your stuff.
What sort of house do you live in atm?
Maybe get rid of stuff you don't need first.

I have 3 dcs we are in a 4 bed large(ish) house and it's fine. I wouldn't want to be in a 3 bed again

The amount of space you need depends largely on how much stuff you have.

The first step is to get rid of stuff. Divesting yourself and your home of unnecessary stuff is very cathartic. Since decluttering 2 yrs ago we now regularly reassess things we need and things we think we need before we buy anything. Not only will you have more space but I have found that I need to do less because things have a home and there is no clutter. Our lives are calmer for having less stuff. We can find things easily in cupboards or drawers, we have space to put things away, and we don't have to spend much time clearing to clean.

I would suggest that you do that first and then decide if you need to move. And if you do, at least you will only be taking stuff you actually need to the new house and packing will be easier.

Downsizing will absolutely not (under any circumstances whatsoever) help you feel more on top of “stuff” when you have a large-ish family.

It will just mean less storage space, less personal space, and make it even harder to keep on top of everything.

Don’t do it! Get some Marie Kondo in your life instead.

Your issue is with the stuff. You are over having "stuff". So have a clear-out, rather than going through the stressful process of selling and buying houses.

My dc (10) has quite a lot of stuff, but it doesn't matter because we have storage for it. Clothes in the wardrobe and drawers, books in the bookcase, toys/sets in big tubs.

DH has considerably more clutter, with nowhere to put it and he is constantly wasting time searching for items he can't find because he hasn't designated places for them and returned them there when he's used them. This drives me demented Even more annoying when I want to do a job and can't find the tools to do it because he's had them out and just put them down anywhere. (I have taken to replicating basics and hiding them in dc's room )

Get rid of the 'stuff' not the house, under 10s grow and take up 3 or 4 x the space they once did - and that's just them in body not their 'stuff'

I did downsize after my divorce. For 4 months i lived in my friend 2 up 2 down terrace with my 3dc who are under 10, it actually gave me enough time to realise what i did need in terms of space as we were living in a 5 bed, 3 bathroom, 4 reception room house with 1/2 acre garden. I brought a 3 double bedroom house with kitchen diner, living rm and a small playroom. As pps have said, its not about the downsizing its about downsizing your stuff and getting rid of clutter. My house over xmas felt so small, once i had got rid of the tree it felt huge! Julia Donaldsons A Squash and a Squeeze springs to mind!

I know how you feel! I still remember when DS was tiny and wanted to live in a caravan when he grew up (although I think it was the mini disco at the caravan park and shiny slot machines that I think he really liked). But it stuck with me!

So other than moving to a caravan, then your realistic alternative is to get rid of stuff.
Be ruthless. Kids always have clothes they’ve grown out of, toys they’ve broken or don’t use. Decide what to - keep, bin or charity shop. If you have an unsure pile, box it up and put it in the loft. And definitely read Marie kondo’s book! She says only keep the things that bring you joy!
If necessary do bits when everyone’s out, it gets hard if you try and get children to sort out toys as they just start playing with them. Or if you know your children can do it, get them to decide what they can sell/bin/charity shop. If they think they might make some money, they might be very helpful! My DD is!

I personally believe if you can afford it 500sq ft per person is nice.
Right now, We are 2 in a 1000sq ft flat in London and it’s great. It’s not cluttered and we have good storage but cleaning is manageable so it looks nice 80-90% of the time. In a nitshell - it’s just right.

But because some things that need space are communal eg utility room, Bedding and laundry cupboards, the dining table etc. You can probably live comfortably with less than 500 pp as there are economies of scale so I’d say 2,000-2,300

I dont think you “need” atleast 4 bedrooms, Im in a 3 bed house (council) with 4 kids, thats all we are entitled to.

We are a family of 5 in a large 3 bed (2 double and 1 single bedroom).
For now it works for us, but I suppose it depends how you use the space as a family. As my kids are young they spend most of their time downstairs in the playroom - we also have a downstairs toilet.
We may look to move to a 4/5 bed as they approach their teens and move their lives upstairs :-)

We're a family of 4- 2 adults and 2 children (under 5's) and love our 5 bedroom house and the space it gives us. We lived in a much smaller before this and it felt constantly cluttered. We now have a playroom for all the toys so an uncluttered lounge. Kids have a bedroom each, we have a spare room for guests/office, and our 5th room has exercise equipment in it (previously in our garage). Our sacrifice is a longer commute to work but it has made our home life so much more enjoyable as we're not constantly on top of each other or falling over toys and clutter. I'd think carefully about downsizing. A smaller number of bedrooms means less downstairs/living space etc. For us up sizing has been worth every penny. My parents downsized when my sister and I left for Uni, it worked initially but now they wish they had more space for our families to visit and stay over.

are you living in a huge huge house with umpteen rooms?
agree with pp that it sounds like the stuff you need to battle, not the amount of space you have.

As mentioned by others, Marie Kondo is your friend. Check out her books...

Changing size of house isn’t gonna change the amount of stuff. Kids will always get new toys given to them or artwork from school. U just need to curate and get rid of things.

Moving house is expensive so would think carefully.

Do you really want less space? Or do you just want less stuff.

Have you tried Kon Marie approach? You will need to read her book but she has a tv program on Netflix.

OP your children are young yet.

Teens need more space and may be less willing to share.

We are a family of 5 and have 5 bedrooms, 2 reception and a large open kitchen diner which gets used for seating too.

It is lovely to have the space.

It's easy to keep tidy as I don't do " stuff".

So I keep only things I need and use.

The property sizes quoted on here are absolutely mad. We are a family of 5 (soon to be 6) and our house is around 1200 sq ft. We have 4 bedrooms (albeit small ish), a family bathroom and en suite, great hallway (room for all our coats, shoes etc and a big under stairs cupboard) with downstairs loo, kitchen diner, 10x11ft playroom and smallish (but enough seats for 6) front room. I mean we do have a garage which might not be included as I've taken the quote from our EPC when we bought the house but still... I can't see us needing or affording a house nearly 2.5 x the size of this one!

However I agree with other posters that you should streamline your current lifestyle. Proper decluttering. When weighing up whether to keep something "just in case", think about what you could sell it for, what you could rebuy it for and whether the space you'll gain is worth the (potential) loss of money. Particularly helpful with e.g. baby equipment and ski gear/ camping stuff you haven't used for 10 years.

I don’t mean to be cheeky, but it would be very difficult to cram all of that into 1200 sq ft. There must be a mistake somewhere.

IME Small children need space but not privacy. Teens need privacy but less space.

In many ways “stuff” and “space” are opposites. You need to learn not to fill the space otherwise you’ll just move from large and overfull house to a small overfull house.

@StreetwiseHercules - unfortunately I'm too much of a technophobe to work out how to do links from Rightmove but I've just looked on Rightmove and found a property with everything the pp describes for just under 1200 square feet.

Our house is about 1300sq ft excl garage (I had to convert from metres) and although we only have three beds we have got a big lounge, kitchen diner and downstairs loo.

We could sleep three kids and seat five for dinner and lounging here but I think once they grew to adultish size it would feel very cramped.

Really? 4 bedrooms, en suite, family bathroom, hall, living room, kitchen diner and playroom?

We are a family of 4 in a 2 bed flat and we manage just fine. The kitchen is big enough for a table, and we do de clutter regularly, but I can't see how a bigger place would change anything.

Agree with @SweetheartNeckline
Property sizes quoted on here are nuts. Most people live in properties a lot smaller than the sizes on here. Kids share bedrooms, make do with what they have, etc.
We are looking at houses to buy and the best we can afford in an area with good schools is 1000sqft ish. We live in a smaller house now - we are 2 adults and a small child.
It's largely down to purging unwanted stuff and having a good layout.
Some of the expectations stated here unrealistic for most people. A lot of these supposed 'needs' are getting mixed up with 'wants'.
Actually I agree with the Op that smaller house = less stuff and less cleaning. Obviously better to get rid of the stuff first though and see if that helps before downsizing, but in a larger house it's too easy to fill it up.