To borrow the kids Xmas money

[festigirl14]

DP hasn’t been paid properly in error this week- it will be rectified next week but its left us very short after Xmas and i need to buy food.

Would it be terrible to borrow the cash the kids had for Xmas to buy food until next week when I can rectify it? Feel terrible doing so

As a one off in an emergency, as long as you definitely pay it back next week - not ideal but needs must.

But please don't make a habit of 'borrowing' money from your kids. My mother took every penny I received or earnt until I finally left home, then constantly harassed me to 'lend' her money every month.

This is part of the reason I went NC with her 5 years ago.

Takitaki, I think it's sadly very common as I've seen lots of posters on MN state that they use children's money as their own. It stopped me gifting cash just in case.

Of course YANBU. What a shit thing to happen.

Funny isn't it, when employers make an 'admin error' with wages, it's ALWAYS in their favour. Do they have a CLUE what stress it causes? Cunts.

And people need to naff off with the 'you should have money saved for a rainy day' bollocks. Some people don't have a fucking CLUE what life is like for some people, and how they can barely make ends meet! £1000 saved in the bank is a dream for many!

Christ on a bike!

There but by the grace of God go you!

As a pp said ask for a direct bank transfer to be made to correct the problem. They should know that their error has caused you hardship.

Going forward, lock the kids money away in a long term deposit account or premium bonds. It's important that the children's money is secured for their future.

Do you have anything you can sell on gumtree, local Facebook etc to raise a few extra quid? Any cash you make buy supermarket vouchers/saving stamps with. At least you'll have spare food money saved should you need it.

Get one of those savings tins that can only be answered with a can opener. Save your £2 coins in it, I saved £400 in a year.

Go through your utilities and contracts and see if you can switch to a cheaper deal. See if you're due ppi on old insurance deals or if you can claim back fees on old accounts. These are long term financial goals.

If your child is old enough explain and ask if you can borrow it.
I've never had to do it for food before. But in the past I've had to say that I don't have enough money until e.g. Tuesday for an activity, but that if she wanted to use her money I could give it back to her in 'tuesday'. I only did this when she was old enough to make that decision.
Happily I'm a bit better paid now. A little disposable income is a wonderful thing😊

deffo borrow it and to be honest if you have older kids I would also discuss it with them so it's a financial lesson to them too they might like the idea of helping the family unit

I’m not sure about telling the kids. My mum talked about thd financial problems we had when I was young and it just made me worry all the time that we might lose the house.

I've just had to do this for a similar reason. DC is 5 so too young to understand or notice that the money is gone and we'll return it next week once our money issue is resolved. No point everyone starving if you can resolve it fairly easily.

And to the PP that said everyone should have a rainy day fund, for a lot of people that simply isn't possible. There is often more month than money and that won't change for a long time. One error with wages or a hold up in benefit payment for whatever reason would see about a quarter of England's population in financial sure straits

Of course you’re not unreasonable. I’ve done this before when my kids were small. Even if you can’t pay it back next week, the kids need to eat. What’s the alternative?

Not everyone has the luxury of saving money for a rainy day. Hope you get the wage situation sorted soon. Must be stressful.

@TheBigBangRocks you can't assume everyone is in the position to save for a rainy day.

Even if you couldn’t pay it back it’s ok. Turns out my mum used our childhood savings for food when we were younger. Meant I grew up fine and the lack of a few hundred quid for toys wasn’t damaging.
To all the people saying no if they can’t lay it back, do they genuinely want to see kids go hungry? For future toys?

My mum and dad took money from my piggy bank to pay necessities a few times. thank goodness they did. I remember feeling important and happy because I was contributing. They probably paid me back but I don't remember that part.

Tell your children you're doing it (assuming they are old enough to notice). It's a good life lesson.

Don't feel bad OP.

Under these circumstance no. Food is important, your DC (and you) need to eat.

When it is not OK is my example below:

ExH "borrowed" money from DD (she did agree to lend it to him, but she was only 8 at the time) a couple of years ago - but for different reasons. She had money in one of those tins that you can only use once. So her "D"F had to break in to access the money using a tin opener. He only wanted to go out (and in all likely hood to see OW). I was embarrassed on her behalf to see him opening the tin. Hoping that he would see the errors of his ways. He didn't....he took the money and went out.

Avada, obviously a savings pot doesn't appear to be an essential for many. Having children knowing if a pay day goes wrong you can't feed them is irresponsible in my eyes. There are always ways to earn extra rather than take from children.

Absolutely fine. Our window cleaner would never have got paid if it wasn't for the kids money boxes. It wasn't that we couldn't afford it , just never had any cash. The kids knew they would be paid back.

Of course it's fine. We've had to do it in the past but instead of letting the kids know we are struggling I tell them I want them to spend a few days thinking about what they would like to spend it on. It's always something online they choose so I tell them I will keep their money on my bank until they are sure what they want.
I don't want my kids worrying about our finances.

@TheBigBangRocks when someone first has children they could be in a totally different situation so I wouldn't call someone irresponsible for having children if I didn't know their predicament at the time of having said children.

Having said that, I have a £50 asda voucher set aside for food or whatever and refuse to us it unless I need to. I've had it for months but I always have formula and food for me. I also save all my change.

@MaintainTheMolehill that's a good idea.

@TheBigBangRocks I absolutely agree. It is completely irresponsible to not have a small amount in savings, especially when you have children!

Nobody is expecting everyone to have ££££'s in the bank, but enough to buy food in case of an emergency or disaster so your children don't starve is essential imo.

takitaki you know absolutely nothing about the OPs financial situation when she first had her DC so I suggest you get off your high horse. Why the hell you would put the boot in when the Op is clearly in a hard situation is beyond me. How is telling her she should have savings helpful ??

Not terrible at all, do what you need to do