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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the most likely explanation is that it's been stolen?

103 replies

Wberryg · 05/01/2019 22:49

For Christmas I got a small electrical item from my DC, something I'd specifically requested. Cost about £20.

Most of our presents were on an armchair in the living room...I normally put them away between Christmas and New Year but I didn't this year as I was working/ busy. Was planning to do it this weekend.

Today I realised the above item wasn't there. I checked the kitchen, not there either- I've looked in all the cupboards. Behind the armchair. There's nowhere else in the house it could be.

I am 99% sure I've not moved it. DP hasn't moved it and says that he remembers seeing it on Tuesday still on the armchair. DC1 hasn't moved it. DC2 is away tonight but I'm pretty certain hasn't moved it either - if they had they would only have moved it to kitcheb to use it but it's definitely not there.

The only other people who have been in our home since Christmas are tradesmen working on an existing building project. 2-3 were here yesterday. They have a key and let themselves in. The only conclusion I can come to is that one of them has taken it.

It's not about the value. It was a present and I feel bad for my DC. I also feel really fucking annoyed someone has come into my house and helped themselves. It leaves a really nasty taste.

OP posts:
Dollymixture22 · 05/01/2019 23:38

Members of my family are builders, and they are very honest. People often treat them badly and go on power trips, as if they are beneath them.

There are dishonest people in every walk of life - but you should discount all other possibilities before besmirching someone’s reputation over a £20 gadget.

Yabbers · 05/01/2019 23:46

You think builders would pinch something worth 20 quid, from an obvious place in a room, in a house they were working in, when they know they would be prime suspect for anything nicked?

Seriously?

Maelstrop · 05/01/2019 23:48

Members of my family are builders, and they are very honest. People often treat them badly and go on power trips, as if they are beneath them.

I'm sure your lot are lovely but in every profession, there is going to be a criminal element. I've had a lot of trades people through the door I ver the years, mostly lovely, but a couple have been absolute cowboys/scam artists.

Classic story-not me, thankfully: a tradesperson (lovely guy) was working on something and left all his tools at the house he was working on overnight. The next morning, he sent his brother to complete the job. His brother nicked some of his brother's very expensive equipment and pawned it! It was found and recovered, but omg, what a betrayal!

Dollymixture22 · 05/01/2019 23:54

Maelstrom - you were quite selective about quoting Me. I went on to say there are dishonest people in every walk of life.

My point in his thread has always been you need to be sure before you accuse, and things get misplaced all the time.

Thisimmortalcurl · 05/01/2019 23:55

I don’t think OP sounds unpleasant at all ! I’m sorry you’d item has been pinched. It doesn’t really matter the value it’s more it was a present and been taken from your home ... horrible

Ontheboardwalk · 05/01/2019 23:55

I reckon it’s in a bin bag somewhere, in a corner or in the tip

I seriously doubt tradesman would help themselves to your item, a twenty pounds one at that, while on what sounds to be a big job

want to add tradesmen I’ve used have been honest and wouldn’t help themselves to anything regardless of value

KondoThis · 06/01/2019 00:02

Mate, you got any idea how much builders earn? Grin

My money is on your kid, the builders didn't nick your stuff

Pandamodium · 06/01/2019 00:04

DH is a tradesman himself and he would never in a million years leave a key to one he didn't know as a personal friend.

Wberryg · 06/01/2019 00:09

The most likely option was it had fallen off the armchair/ been covered by something, or been put away. None of those were the case, I've checked.

The tradespeople taking it isn't the only possibililty, my DC could have moved it, but I don't think so. And when all the obvious options have been ruled out, this is what's left.

I'm not accusing anyone. The people here were from 2 separate companies. Yes it seems unlikely they would steal but my DP said it's actually more likely someone would take a modest value item than a high value games console or similar. Of all the items on the armchair this one was the highest value (most were £5-10).

I don't think any profession is immune from theft. I work for a FTSE 100 company. People in my office regularly get food stolen from the fridge. One person had a coat taken from the coat racks (hence we now all keep our coats on our chairs even though that's against office policy). A friend who works in a law firm had her purse taken from her bag at work. So stuff happens everywhere.

I hope this will turn up or DC2 will know where it is but I'm not that optimistic.

OP posts:
Dollymixture22 · 06/01/2019 00:10

I hope it turns up. Sorry again for saying you were unpleasant. It was unnecessary.

WhistlingBrooks · 06/01/2019 00:16

Had to butt in with my recent 'mysterious disappearence' of items.

Massive building project on with builders having atleast 2 sets of keys. 4-5 tradesmen every day.

1 unopened box of electric shower (£210) went missing first and then a boxed bottle of Port (worth £28)that i had bought just before Christmas for our neighbours who had dealt with the noise and disruption of our building works. The day the Port went missing was when I had lost it. I now keep the expensive items to be used for the project hidding in the main bedroom. I also intend to have a word with the main contractor once the project is finished, calmly telling him he has a bad apple in his group of men.
All those who are giving clean chits to tradesmen they know and are in the family or otherwise, how is your experience of them being good and honest any more credible than my experience of them being with loose morals. The last I know there are people of criminal bend in all walks of life.

shpoot · 06/01/2019 00:19

What is the item? Does it need charging up? It might've been plugged in to charge somewhere?

Dollymixture22 · 06/01/2019 00:22

I think most people on this thread have acknowledged that there are bad people on every walk of life. However the main message has been to explore other possibilities.

I have had people in and out of my house, during which time I lost a bracelet and a mobile phone. Both turned up - and I was right it was my fault and not anyone else’s. However people do steal. So OP has to way up both possibilities in this instance before she accuses.

Which she is doing - she still hasn’t asked her other child.

Dollymixture22 · 06/01/2019 00:23

Weigh up!!! Going to bed now

ChesterGreySideboard · 06/01/2019 00:30

So stuff happens everywhere.

I’ve always wondered why they need lockers in police station staff rooms.

This puts me in mind of a thread years ago where someone accused a tradesman of taking her Jo Malone candle. Half the people were saying it was wrong to accuse him and the other half saying that a builder wouldn’t know what a Jo Malone candle was b

SplendidCurmudgeon · 06/01/2019 00:39

We were also burgled by our builders. Stole wooden flooring, tiles, new bathroom suite and more. We were renovating an old house and the door wasn't the most secure. Items only left one night as due to be fitted next day. No one knew they were there except builders. Neighbours even saw two of them loading it into a van and thought we'd asked them to!

Mummylife2018 · 06/01/2019 01:38

@SplendidCurmudgeon OMG! I presume you confronted them and reported them to the Police? What happened?

QuestionableMouse · 06/01/2019 02:14

Why the secrecy about what it is? Just name the bloody item!

Serin · 06/01/2019 07:12

QuestionableMouse Exactly.
It's an anonymous forum for goodness sake why the mystery over what the item is?
Did you ask your kids to buy you an Ann Summers rabbit or something?

Wberryg · 06/01/2019 07:33

There's no secrecy. I didn't think it was particularly relevant what it was. But ok - it was a popcorn maker.

I have now spoken with DC2. They haven't moved it. More concerningly one of their presents (which I thought they had with them) has also gone missing, a £30 electric toothbrush. DC2 saw it on the chair on Thurs, and meant to take it but forgot and thought they'd use it when returning home today except it's not there. This really leaves a sour taste.

OP posts:
Weirdwonders · 06/01/2019 07:41

Why are people having a go at the OP when it’s perfectly possible that the tradesmen have taken it? They were in the house weren’t they?
Alternatively could they or someone else have left the front door open for a time?

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 06/01/2019 07:44

Oh come on, for all the tradesmen knew you could have had cctv. Why would they risk their business for a popcorn maker and a toothbrush?
A POPCORN MAKER AND A TOOTHBRUSH! There is absolutely no way. It is more likely someone in your family moved them.

Wberryg · 06/01/2019 07:45

When tradesmen are here they always leave the front door open because they are in and out however the missing items were right at the back of the house, the living room is at the end of a long hallway and not visible from the front door.

OP posts:
calpop · 06/01/2019 07:48

i agree that there are honest an dishonest peiple in all professions and all walks of life. I dont get tbis MN thing of "how dare you blame the builders/cleaners". Most are honest, not all are. Builders that own companies may earn good money, the labourers that work for them don't necessarily. I have an acquaintance who does random labouring jobs for local builders. He is also a drug addict. He was caught on cctv stealing amazon parcels off peiples drives. I have a friend that showed me her cctv video of someone working for her builder's nicking roof tiles and putting them in his car. So it does happen. Small value electrical goods, still in wrapping, is exactly what my acquaintance would nick for drug money as they are easy to sell and less likely to be reported or traced.

Hope they turn up OP.

Wberryg · 06/01/2019 07:49

The items haven't been moved.

DC2 saw them on Thursday and didn't move them. DP has been away since Tuesday and neither DC1 nor I have moved them. There is no one else living here or with access to the house apart from the tradesmen.

OP posts: