“It’s different for girls they need and want to be with their Mums”

[Soconfusedbylife]

I overheard this today from an early 20’s lady talking about how she deserved to spend more time with her Mum than her boyfriend did with his Mum. I understand many Mums and their daughters are friend but as the Mother of Boys this attitude really worries me. So please share your experiences of good adult son and their mothers relationships.

Total rubbish. I have always been closer to my Dad, my brother is much closer to my Mum (if anything too close, he lived at home with her into his thirties and she still has way more involvement in his life than I could ever tolerate).

Everyone had different relationships with their parents, generalisations are gendered bullshit.

As with most early 20-ish year olds, this woman doesn't know a fucking thing. What a twit.

No, not all girls want and need to be with their mums. Some do, but some are independent of that kind of relationship. I have a good relationship with my mum, but I would never ask her for help with something physically personal like (say) coming to scans or to be my birthing partner or whatever. I wouldn't want her opinion on what to do. I would be more likely to ask my sister as she is far more level-headed, knowledgable, insightful, diplomatic etc etc. My mum would make my crisis her own crisis. I can't do with that.

But she brought me up to be independent, some benign neglect, making me probably take on too much responsibility too young and not enough allowance for my age, that kind of thing, so what does she expect?

Having said that if I was really in the shit then of course I'd phone my mum.

NewYorkDoll do you have daughters, sons or both?

I would far rather spend time with my DF
I have an adult DS and DD we have very different relationships but are equally as close
I probably spend same amount of time with each

My relationship with my DM was fine, but my brothers saw more of her than I ever did, whereas DH I spent more time with his parents.

My DS is 24. He has his own place but we are very close. He stays regularly, we watch films and go out for meals and generally have a loving and affectionate mother/son relationship.

The in law relationship doesn't need to be perfect for the parent/child relationship to be good. And it's we're just past the Season to Be Annoying and Annoyed By Other People.