Godparents

[Likeforlike]

It’s not a huge issue between DH and I but I’d just like to sound you all out..

We’re planning DD christening. I’m christened but DH isn’t, we’re having the service at the same church we were married in.

We’ve chosen my brother and his wife and my female cousin. We’re extremely close to all 3 and they dote on DD. I’m sure they’ll really like to be asked. DH absolutely wants them as godparents.

I suggested that we also ask his brother (I suppose to balance it out, I don’t like to push his family out so to speak). He and DH are chalk and cheese and get on but only in a polite sense. His family are generally quite reserved and don’t have such a need to be close as a family although I am fond of them.

DH has suggested that it seems “a bit rude” to not ask his brothers girlfriend who we’ve met twice. She quite a bit younger than his brother but acts much older if that makes sense. They’ve only been together a year and I just don’t know her very well at all. To me it would cheapen the gesture as I want my baby christened for the right reasons if that makes sense.

I said that we don’t have to have her too and it isn’t rude. He said we can talk about it later (he’s travelling for work and needed to leave tonight). I really don’t want her. She’s not particularly friendly when we meet (on the rare occasion that we do) and it would feel weird having her tbh. His brother isn’t even christened himself which may pose a problem but that’s neither here nor there.

Surely people don’t chooose godparents to not offend someone?! Just want to sound you out to check I’m not being uptight and totally unreasonable.

Funnily my DH had to get Christened himself a few years back in order to be a godfather. He’s agnostic at best so I don’t know why but the vicar was adamant.

Funnily my DH had to get Christened himself a few years back in order to be a godfather. He’s agnostic at best so I don’t know why but the vicar was adamant.

Because you promise to help guide the child in the faith in which it is christened.

So if you're not of that faith you can't do that.

Looking at it from her point of view, I wouldn’t be remotely offended if a member of my fiancé’s family asked him to be a godfather and didn’t ask me to be a godmother, especially if I’d only met them twice!

My husband had god children and so do I. We have no godchildren together although we went to all but one christenings together.
To appoint a godparent that you have met twice is daft and undermines the concept.

Honestly, it would be a bit odd to ask someone you've only met twice, no?! As in, she will be more likely to find being asked strange than she will to be offended not being asked.