Lack of respect / consideration

[NaughtyAmeliaJaneridesagain]

DD has been home since before Xmas. I planned to drive DD back to Uni (2 1/2 hour + drive) today, after she attended appt at 11am. I planned to stay over at hers tonight as we had booked to attend something tomorrow for my birthday. I don't like driving too late as get energy lull around 5pm, and prefer to drive in daylighr. Also hoped to do something nice this afternoon / evening too after we arrived. DH picked her up from her appt at 11:45am (15 minutes drive from home) and they got home at 3:45pm after making and waiting for another (non urgent) appt with bank. This appt was to sort out a minor query that dates back 3 years ! DD not yet packed, which DH does for her - she brings home laundry, he irons it for her then packs (I will not do her ironing!) Anyway long story short, massive row with DH about lack of respect for my wishes re time leaving / not wanting to drive tired etc. DH has told DD to book coach tomorrow. Birthday treat tomorrow not cheap and non refundable. I am SO upset about lack of consideration. AIBU ? WWYD? I have work 9am Monday.

YAnbu. If you don’t like to drive after dark then it’s up to her & dh to get her back to college.

He can drive you all. Or she can drive with you in the car. Or you can have an early night and go very early tomorrow.

I’m not sure about the huge row though. There seem to be several options.

She's missed her chance, hasn't she? You've got plans for tomorrow so she'll have to make her own travel arrangements. Coach or train. Are you sure dd actually wants to go back? She doesn't sound keen.

I'd be annoyed but I'd drive tonight anyway. To me, 2-3 hours is not excessive, especially if you're not driving back until tomorrow. But yes, I'd have words with DH about changing the plan without consulting me: I agree it's disrespectful.

Why is her Dad running after her like a servant

I don't blame DD. DH can be controlling. I am sure DD very keen to get back to Uni, and DD is due to be going to event with me tomorrow. DD does not drive. I do not want DH to go tomorrow, girly event, and anyway he will give me the silent treatment for days because I questioned his actions 😡

Confusedbeetle He does DD ironing to be kind ! DD being typical student does not iron anything. DH does his own ironing too !