to ask what’s happened to kids parties?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m starting to wonder if I’m a bit of a dinosaur...

Is it not the done thing to lay on party food anymore?

I’m taking my son to a party and the parents have said there’ll be some cheese and butter sandwiches and few snacks like carrot sticks.

I went to one last year where it was entirely outdoors - in November. We did outdoorsy stuff in the mud and had hot chocolate and cake. No one was allowed inside the house except for loo. No other food.

There have been a few others too where food is bare minimum and it feels odd.

It’s my son’s birthday soon and he’s having a softplay party. I’m planning to do a full party food spread (sandwiches, crisps, chocolates, cakes, crudités etc).

Is this not the done thing? Am I going to be thought a massive pig?

I find navigating all of this stuff really stressful.

I suppose it doesn’t sound like much fun - cheese sandwiches and carrot sticks...

I just think party food should be stuff you don’t normally have.

Bloody love a party buffet!
Party rings are a must here along with with cheese and pineapple on sticks!
I'm always happy to help eat leftovers when i take ds to a party

I would say it's very much the done thing to have a proper party tea. I would think it odd if children were only offered drinks and crisps as a token snack.

I have been to some parties where they have pre-packed little cardboard lunchboxes in advance (each with crisps, drinks, cheese strings, milky way bar etc) which worked quite well for those who want it all ready to go.

Otherwise if you have the facility of an oven then pizza can't be beaten. Most kids will eat cheese and tomato pizza.

I would keep it plain ie cheese and ham (not together) sandwiches, plain crisps, fairy cakes (iced ones always go down well, shop bought or home made), carrot and cucumber sticks.

And PLENTY of water/orange squash/blackcurrant squash on offer and ready to go. Kids get so thirsty but some parents only remember to do squash at the end after all the food is set out, but usually after an energetic play it's the first thing kids want.

Merry "I suppose it doesn’t sound like much fun - cheese sandwiches and carrot sticks... I just think party food should be stuff you don’t normally have."

Au contraire! Party food for general kids not your own should definitely be commonplace stuff that they would usually recognise otherwise it will hardly be touched. Kids know where they are with a cheese sandwich and a fairy bun. Yes some will have more adventurous tastes but you aren't looking to educate them in the art of unusual party food - you're feeding some hungry kids after a play.

Do the unusual stuff for your own DCs for their birthday tea but the party? Cater to the mainstream. Most definitely

Mine eat loads at parties! Way more than they would at home.

Throughout my children's lives, I was always appalled at the outrageously unhealthy food served to them. Anyone would think it was a competition to see how much sugar you could stuff down them in one hour. They used to get more in one party than they had in a year at home

I've never been to a party that catered for the adults too! Are people made of money?!

I've not heard "cheese and butter sandwich" before! As in a cheese sandwich with butter on the bread? Or separate sandwiches?

Anyway, do whatever you fancy! I love doing children's party teas! Have fun with it. Ignore the health squad. X

I live in quite a wealthy area and only a few parties really catered for adults: One even handed round glasses of Prosecco, another had a bloody amazing buffet for the parents - but the mum is a very good cook and I think enjoys laying on a spread and can afford it too. The norm is to just offer tea and biscuits though. I'm always happy to polish off the kids sandwiches once they're finished but can easily survive two hours without being fed!

I've never been to an under-catered kid's party before.There's normally a lot of wasted food, especially if the party is after lunch

Same here. We had a whole class party for my DD recently and it was ridiculous how much food we ended up wasting but I suppose I thought 'better too much than not enough'. Most of the kids weren't interested though, they just wanted to play. Didn't help that we'd catered for a few who RSVP'd they were coming and then didn't bother to turn up

Most seem to cater for adults around here, nothing special but some more ‘grown up’ sandwiches and crisps etc. Most parties we go to seem to be over a meal time though so maybe that’s why? Who knows!

The adult food always gets polished off way quicker than the kids food, they tend to descend like gannets

Two words......

PARTY SAUSAGES

nough said!

Your plan sounds great! I tend to do a similar buffet, but may have to rein it in for DD3 slightly this time as will be 38 weeks pregnant (although realistically I'll probably do the same, but buy in more ready ,done stuff.) I tend to deliberately schedule my DD's parties over a mealtime as the buffet is the best bit!

I'd guess there was more going on re the outdoor party (which in itself sounds like a great idea!) Perhaps a kitchen renovation, episode of D&V, serious allergies or hosting at a grandparents' house.

@Angelicwings

I didn’t mean unusual food - more ‘loads of chocolate and sweets’ that they’re not normally allowed.

As an aside, the idea my child is adventurous

Getting a carrot down him is an hour long negotiation!

I think it is up to the parents to decide if they want their kids eating ‘loads of chocolate and sweets’, so I would only have your usual savoury party food and then cake, maybe some sweets or chocolate in a party bag.

My observations after nearly 10 years of kids parties

1. No one eats the healthy stuff and the older the kids the less you need to provide for show. (Ok one kid will...only 1)

1. The more middle class the family the less food they provide.

1. By the age of 5 the kids can judge the quality of food and party bag provided and will comment if lacking

1. Tea and coffee for grown ups is a must if they are staying.

1. There will always be one kid who fills their plate ike a pyramid and leaves it all

1. You can't have enough biscuits for kids.

1. Suspend your horror at food waste. Yes it's bad but tell yourself it's not on the scale of major supermarkets AND don't reuse as it'll have been touched and licked by children.

1. By the time the kids are 8ish you can scale right back. So really it's just a few panicky years of party expense and trauma. Then you've got their teenage years lol!

It's usually a proper party spread at the ones my DCs go to. My DCs party hard and take the food seriously to refuel from it.

A paltry token gesture like the ones described by OP would result in disappointed, hangry children. Not cool for a party.

Parents normally swoop in once the children become disinterested which substantially cuts waste.

Food is always in abundance when we have parties.

. just maybe a bit of cake and water

Crumbs, that sounds like a fun party - not!

I have never been to a party where there wasn't food provided and my boys are almost adults now. As a childminder I also host parties for the children I mind and I wouldn't dream of not providing food as I did for mine when they had parties.

The very least I would put out would be crackers with spread cheese, cocktail sausages, slices of ham and cherry tomatoes, then some crisps and biscuits. As well as the cake of course.

Sometimes I do hot dogs, and once I did a Mac Donald's type happy meal box with sandwich, crisps, cake and sweets in.

Tea/coffee if adults are staying and they tend to finish up the party food anyway.

Yanbu. If it's helpful we always do lunchboxes - v cheap to order the paper boxes on eBay then they get a sandwich and crisps and a penguin or similar and a piece of fruit. They can take home leftovers. Less waste less mess all good.

To most kids it isn't a party without food!

I wonder if it’s because there are so many allergies around. We always did a party tea at our children’s parties and offered any leftovers to people to take home.

We've just moved from the Welsh valleys and there's stacks of food, everyone is invited and parties are generic, nothing interesting past a bouncy castle and dj. Here, my DD was invited to an amazing small party with fun chemistry.

I had a city farm party for my daughter's 6th. As it was the end of November and at 1-4pm I made it clear I'd be doing warm food. I made pasta with a tomatoey sauce and some grated cheddar. It was the first thing we did, then the kids were well fed and enjoyed the outdoorsy activities. I then did a few snacks and cake towards the end which went down well. I always cater for the invited child/parents and any little siblings that might tag along (I can usually predict how many).
However if it's not around a meal time (say 2-4 pm) I usually do less food, but plenty of tasty choices both healthy and less healthy. It's part of what a party is, for me anyhow.
The year I made a huge basket of scones (for the parents) served with Prosecco/tea: butter/cream and a choice of jams is probably the high spot in my catering ridiculousness!