WIBU to not make my probably dairy intolerant DS go dairy free?

[Xuli]

DS is 2 and has other food allergies we see a consultant for. Last visit I mentioned horrific loose and smelly nappies and consultant said it sounded like dairy - not a huge surprise as I had noticed when we tried cow's milk as a drink DS got really gassy and had stomach cramp, so we went back to formula.

We have eliminated all "proper" dairy - so has oat milk, soy yoghurts and no cheese. No noticeable difference in his nappies. Now we know we need to try the full elimination, so making sure there is no milk protein other foods, which we're going to start next week. I'm not entirely convinced this is going to make an enormous difference as he's already virtually dairy free but we will do it.

The thing is, he has no problems other than this horrible nappies, but they are still only once or twice a day, it's not like constant diarrhea. No eczema, no stomach pains etc. The nappies don't bother him and don't make him sore. The only issue going forward would be toilet training.

I was talking to a friend recently who said child's dietitian/consultant said that there had to be a balance between completely restricting their life and coping with some minor eczema as a reaction etc. It got me thinking, do I want to completely restrict DS's diet (he is also allergic to eggs so some restrictions there) because of smelly nappies that don't bother him? Would that be unreasonable, or should we stick with 100% dairy free if it is that?

Smelly nappies now= smelly Poland in school etc. Which would you prefer if it was you?

Poland??
= smelly pops in school!!

My son is CMPA and was dairy free from 9 weeks old to 15 months old where we slowly started introducing dairy and he can now handle the odd wotsit.

Even if your son is ‘only’ having a few loose nappies a day it proves that the dairy is irritating the lining of his stomach and continued exposure to something his stomach can not tolerate can lead to lifelong gut problems when he’s older. It’s up to you whether you want to take that risk.

As an aside, the proteins in soya are almost identical to the proteins in cows milk so many CMPA have to have soya removed from their diet too as they are as allergic to that as they are to dairy. Just something for you to consider seeing as you haven’t really seen any improvement just from removing soya.

There are numerous FB groups about having a CMPA child who will support you and answer a lot of questions you may have.

Dairy allergies can be outgrown, but I would imagine the gut needs a "rest" from the milk proteins to help make that happen.

(disclaimer: my ds had dairy issues as a toddler that he has since outgrown, but it was a long time ago)

I would do it, if only for a few months, just to see what happens. What if his reaction is due to something else? At least if you eliminate dairy you'd know for sure either way.

As a pp said you’ll also need to eliminate soya as the proteins are similar, as are the proteins in goats milk. We went through all this when DS was a baby, luckily he grew out of it aged 2.

Your son doesn’t have an allergy to dairy and from what you’ve said by removing dairy making no difference, he likely doesn’t have a dairy intolerance either.

How much soya do you feed him? Have you tried eliminating that or gluten or eggs? If milk isn’t a problem then start focussing on other foods

Thanks all. I think part of our frustration is that it was only mentioned in passing by the consultant and yes, it's not an "allergy" in the same way that he has allergies to other foods, so it's not really something I feel we should be chasing the allergy clinic about for assistance. However I don't know who else to ask for for advice, I'd like to see a dietitian and have a good chat about all of this but there doesn't seem to be one. Otherwise we're just blindly eliminating things ourselves and hoping for the best?

Something is definitely causing this, and probably dairy because of the stomach ache he got from drinking cow's milk. It's definitely not gluten because he is not ill enough for that. He has an allergy (hives and swelling etc) to eggs so it's not that either.

It could be soy. He has one soy yoghurt a day. I've not noticed nappies getting worse since we introduced these instead of normal yoghurt. In fact there have been no changes at all despite the changes to his diet.

it proves that the dairy is irritating the lining of his stomach and continued exposure to something his stomach can not tolerate can lead to lifelong gut problems when he’s older. It’s up to you whether you want to take that risk. - this is again my problem I think. I feel very lost with this and want a health professional to actually advise us on what to do!

Your son doesn’t have an allergy to dairy and from what you’ve said by removing dairy making no difference,

Except she hasn’t removed dairy has she.... just ‘proper dairy’ although dairy is dairy, whatever form it comes in.

The only way to eliminate a dairy allergy is to remove ALL dairy which OP has said she is about to try.

Having loose stools and gastro problems still is an allergy. Have you looked into IgE allergies and non-IgE allergies?

There’s used to be the two terms of dairy allergy and dairy intolerance but that had been discontinued now as any reaction to having dairy means there is an allergy to it.

Definitely speak to your allergy team. My son is under an allergy consultant for his non-IgE allergy to dairy. We are also under a Dietician.

It was my Health Visitor who referred me to the Dietician so speak to yours and see if she can do the same.

Formula has dairy in though too doesn't it? Have you tried cows milk with added lactase to break down the lactose or the lacto free milk?

another one to ask for referral to specialized dietician -

He's 2, you really don't know how much discomfort he is in. He may have just come to accept a certain low level of pain is just how life feels. Generally some level of upset stomach goes hand in hand with some level of pain. I would make the full switch at least for a year or two and then see what happens with a gradual introduction should you wish to go that route. Dairy and egg free isn't that challenging, they are both pretty common allergens.

We discovered my child’s dairy allergy v late. She was never properly toilet trained and soiled daily. She was hospitalised at 5 with complete bowel obstruction due to constipation and no one suggested any allergy. We only discovered after a holiday with lots of ice cream where a friend suggested her crazy soiling could be a dairy issue. Nothing to do with the doctors she had seen. It’s often overlooked.

I wish we had known sooner - we now know her symptoms almost certainly did cause her pain and discomfort she simply couldn’t articulate. Even now the odd Christmas biscuit resulted in soiling she was unaware of (hence wouldn’t address unless it were pointed out). She’s a bright 7 but can’t tell when her body ‘leaks’ poo even after the smallest of baked butter goods.

Cut it out and see the difference. When he’s old enough to take a calculated risk (as my daughter is now), still keep an eye. He isn’t old enough to tell you now, but my daughter happily chooses to avoid chocolate, puddings and other things she loves because it makes her feel rough. That says it all.

Queen, yes, he has IgE allergies to eggs and some fish, and then I assume this is a non-IgE allergy to dairy.

I'll go back to the GP and ask for a referral to a dietitian if complete exclusion doesn't seem to make a difference.

His nappies get worse for any illness too - cold, teething, earache etc. I'm slightly wondering if it is a gut issue more than a food issue. But then that is normally just written off as toddler diarrhea and they don't do anything about it.

And yes, my daughter can’t tolerate soya either. There are loads of other options out there now thanks to the vegan fad. It’s realky very easy to avoid dairy without risk as all products are fortified.

I am not dairy free at all but as a baby couldn't have cows milk as it just did not agree with me at all. I believe I had soy. Other than that, I have never had any issues with dairy although I am not amazing with more 'raw' forms of milk such as cream/ice cream.

Sorry I’m catching up. Try coconut yogurts, or ones made with cashews. They are expensive but much better than soya whivh mimics the milk protein. We just give yogurt less and stuck to fruit for pudding. Or make dairy free crumbles with stork baking block - I’m a butter fiend but as long as it’s really cold before you make it m, you can’t tell (I freeze it for 1/2 hr first)

He's 2, you really don't know how much discomfort he is in. He may have just come to accept a certain low level of pain is just how life feels. Generally some level of upset stomach goes hand in hand with some level of pain

Absolutely!!

When my 9 week old was diagnosed I went dairy free myself as I was breast feeding. When he was 10 months old I was advised to start introducing dairy to see what my son could tolerate through my breast milk. He’s 16 months old now and he can tolerate me having chocolate and cheese but if I have cows milk, cream it yogurts he gets horrendous stomach pains and loose nappies.

Anyway - my point is that when I have cows milk myself I often get some diarrhoea, bad wind, and I get bad stomach pains, it’s like a persistent cramp and feeling of wanting to be sick. It’s realky unpleasant and can last a few days.

Your two year old isn’t able to verbalise if he’s in any pain so you need to take this into account. As has been said, the uncomfortable feelings/discomfort/pain he may have might actually be considered to be normal to him now hence why there are no outward signs from him that something is ‘wrong’.

DS1 was allergic to milk and eggs, then it became apparent he was also intolerant to soya. The allergic reactions showed up on weaning at 5-6 months and it was 12 months before we made it to the paediatrician and dieticians and the exclusion diet started. The allergic reactions stopped, and the eczema calmed down, but his explosive bowel movements persisted for a long time.

We ended up giving him a high strength probiotic reccommended by the dieticians and it did help his stools to become more formed. He has remained softer than average in the years since, but there is no great issue with that.

I'd exclude all dairy and soya. As PPs have commented, soya often accomanies dairy issues. Many supermarkets have a seeded bread that doesn't contain soya flour (used to lighten baked goods, also used in most commerically made cakes). Soya lecithins are widespread through food but are less likely to trigger reaction as the quantity is smaller and the form is slightly altered.

It can be trial and error to work out what the triggers are. Often with young children, they can grow out of it once on an exclusion diet, but the gut does need time to recover from it's continuous flushing out. Long term dieticians advice is also needed about weaning back on.

You need to go to fedup.com.au. It is a private website set up to support the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital Allergy Unit. They are the best in the world.

There are factsheets, books, tip and newsletters. You will find a list of trained dietitians because not all of them do this sort of thing well. They are all over. Also a main fb group to join as well as a uk based one. Loads of stories and people (ie mothers who have tried everything else) with assistance.

Honestly, you need to go there. Start here fedup.com.au/news/blog/story-collection-on-sneaky-poos-encopresis.