Am I going to hell?

[limitedperiodonly]

This afternoon I was in Waitrose and picked up a bag of 5 parsnips reduced to 10p from 79p.

When I paid for them at the self-service checkout I realised that the previous shopper, who I hadn't seen, had left 28p change behind.

I pocketed it. I did not hand it in at the counter or leave my name and address and did not put it in the charity box

So unless I am wrong in my calculations, I made 18p out of a Waitrose shopper.

*When I first met my husband 30 years ago this year, he said his flatmate found £1000 stuffed behind the cistern in the men's toilets of a bar he was working in. He took it and disappeared.

A thousand pounds 30 years ago was really quite a substantial sum. It was obviously some kind extremely dodgy deal and his friend just grabbed it. My husband vacated the flat before anyone came round asking about it.*

If I stole £1000 from a cistern in a bar I’d continue working there so as not to arouse suspicion. I’ve thought too hard about this, haven’t it?

That said Nesssie, I don't actively steal, but if I find things with little chance of reuniting them with the owner, I will keep them and give them a good home.

I didn't do the same thing as a kid as you but my husband did because he grew up in a seaside town where there were lots of arcades. It starts young, doesn't it?

If I stole £1000 from a cistern in a bar I’d continue working there so as not to arouse suspicion. I’ve thought too hard about this, haven’t it?

No you haven't indecisivepigeon. That's exactly what we thought. Leaving instantly arouses suspicion. Better to carry on for a while then leave regretfully, perhaps hinting at a troubling family problem that no one wants to ask you about. I might revive this debate with him over dinner.

Oh no OP. How could you sully the reputation of Waitrose customers by stealing 😮
The only thing you can do now is go to church, not any old church, but a church worthy of a Waitrose customer and confess your sin. St Paul's cathedral or similar.
Once you have done that, you need to go to a police station and have yourself clapped in irons, branded and covered in tar and feathers.
I mean, stealing is bad enough, but Waitrose stealing is beyond the pale.
You're going to Hell in a shopping cart.

I was in a shop just before Christmas and i dropped between £20 and £60 on the floor and some git of a customer picked it up!!!

Was that you limited ?

But Waitrose self service doesn’t take cash....

I don't know what you are trying to suggest here DollyPomPoms but my three local Waitroses certainly do.

I have confessed to being mean and a thief by finding but a liar, I am not.

In fact, one of my other joys is feeding in the exact amount of change onto the little conveyor belt and watching it disappear while the display on the screen counts down to zero. No other supermarket has that facility. It's one of the things that marks out Waitrose as a special shopping destination.

The bit that takes notes is quite vicious but I usually only pay by cash if it's under £5.

I've lost the game if I don't have enough change for the full amount and have to put in a £1 coin so I get a cascade of 1p, 2p and 5p pieces. But I don't count my change before because that is cheating.

If you're in a hurry you really don't want to get stuck behind me at the self service till.

PS I once tried to put a £50 note into the self-service at Sainsbury's. It won't accept them. They're too big and I suspect too much of risk in terms of fraud.

I've made a detailed study of this. It may form the basis of a PhD some day

I can't get past the fact that posters are saying 18p.
Of course it's 28p.
The parsnips and their cost are irrelevant.

I agree arethere

Its 28p

Actually I was behind you and saw you and logged it with 101. I immediately started a MN thread you see, titled "To the person I saw stealing in Waitrose..." and lots of MNers advised me to log it with 101.

One MNer was so shocked reading my thread that she fainted and had to go straight to A and E. So you're also one of the people responsible for the dire state of the NHS.

I feel sorry for your family tbh. People like you appall me. If I knew you in RL I'd report you and everyone you've ever met to Social Services.

Parsnips though.

Wrong.

How would you feel if you got caught?

None of ours do! All card only.

It's a more complicated philosophical matter than that arethereanyleftatall

I took a bag of parsnips reduced to 10p from 79p to the self service till, fully intending to pay 10p to Waitrose. With a 10p piece that I would put on the conveyor belt thingy that DollyPomPoms doesn't believe exists.

At that point my debt was to Waitrose.

But I found 28p in the change tray which I used to discharge my debt to Waitrose. Now that did leave me with 28p - 10p in parsnips and 18p in change. I'm not denying my guilt in this matter.

But if I'd have handed the 28p in, which better people than I would, I'd be burdening the manager of Waitrose with a moral dilemma. It's possible that the loser would return to it, but unlikely. So he'd probably put it in the charity box but then he'd be guilty of theft by finding and might also be risking giving to a charity the loser doesn't support.

Far better for me to assume the burden of guilt and eternal damnation. But, yes, I see what you mean now. I stole 28p. I still don't feel bad about it though.

None of ours do! All card only.

That's a shame. *DollyyPomPoms^. Another innocent joy erased by the march of big business

I actually think someone may come along and seriously suggest you should have bought 28p worth of stuff for the foodbank and used it that way. Although what 28p would buy you in Waitrose, I don't know!

bollocks

Im also finding it interesting that limited isn't answering the question of whether or not she picked up my £20/£40/£60

Shes a one woman crime spree!!!!!

It'd buy 2 bags of reduced parsnips bollocks with 8p left.

I rather enjoyed 'reduced parsnips bollocks' as a new phrase.

That definitely wasn't me Rufusthebewilderedreindeer but I've found a total of £30-£40 since the polymer notes replaced the old £5 and £10 ones. They are really slippy and spring out of your purse. Obviously, nothing ever springs out of my purse before I'm ready but some people aren't as careful with their money as me

I can't get past the fact that posters are saying 18p.
Of course it's 28p.
The parsnips and their cost are irrelevant.

Absolutely.

If the 28p hadn't been thee she have walked out with some parsnips, and with 10p less money than she came in with.

As it was, she walked out with parsnips and 18p extra.

The difference between being short by 10p and having 18p extra is 28p.

I found 2 x £10 notes recentlyin a bar. I stupidly said something to the barman and later someone said he thought it was his. I'm not sure it really was

I shall learn from the master of thievery from now on.

All hail limited

My local Waitrose you can only use card at the self check out. Yours takes cash?

limited

I found £20 in our local shop and handed in...on my way out i got distracted by something (shiny) and was just in time to hear one assistant say 'ooohh £20, shall we go halves'

I'm going to take a picture of the Waitrose coin conveyor belt, note-snatcher and change tray which is like winning a small jackpot at a seedy seaside amusement arcade, though it won't be tonight.

Our local Marks has card only tills and cash and card tills with a similar finger snapping note grabber device.

People regularly use the cash tills to pay by card when there are rows of empty card only tills available, leaving people like me and our reduced parsnips frothing indignantly behind them.

Fucking amateurs.