Told my sexy underwear isn’t sexy enough

[helloyolo]

I bought lingerie - a one piece lacy thing - and dp told me I was funny, not sexy, and needed to make it ‘more sexy’ and I felt weird about it.

Well, that was a nasty thing to say and it's not surprising you are upset. However: whose idea was it for you to buy the underwear in the first place? Did he tell you you should 'make more effort'? Or did you just see the stuff and take a fancy to it? Is he generally inclined to put you down or laugh at you?
And what was your sex life like before this? I'm wondering if there is already a pattern of him witholding sex (or not being interested in it) and mocking you for wanting it.

Tell him his penis isn't really amazing looking either (because it isn't if it's anything like the average dick).

I can't imagine what would go through someone's head before saying something like this.

What you're seeing when someone does something sexy for you is someone you fancy, who has been thinking about having sex with you. That's a turn-on. The actual effect is a bit secondary, surely?

It sounds like he doesn't care about you very much. I would think seriously about ending it.

Oh OP that can’t have been nice.

Have you told him that he offended you by saying that?

I had this with DH once. I bought something that I thought was really sexy, but he didn’t like it and told me so. I told him that he’d hurt my feelings and that I’d felt really sexy in it. He apologised and hasn’t made a negative comment since, about that or any other piece of lingerie I wear.

Hope you’re ok.

I believe this answer from Stephisaur is by far the most sensible answer on this thread:
" I had this with DH once. I bought something that I thought was really sexy, but he didn’t like it and told me so. I told him that he’d hurt my feelings and that I’d felt really sexy in it. He apologised and hasn’t made a negative comment since, about that or any other piece of lingerie I wear."
Actually, perhaps you did look a bit "funny". Husbands are not famously tactful.
I would advise you not to respond in the resentful way advised by the several "anti-men" MNsetters.
Good luck with your next purchase, and your future...ahem...sex life.

Husbands are not famously tactful.

Mine is 🤷‍♀️ Most of my friends’ DHs are.

We’re not “anti-men” here . We are, however, anti-arseholes. Be they men or women.

Expect more from yourself and others @onlyaman! You never know, you might surprise yourself.

That was a tactless and hurtful thing to say and he is bang out of order.

Did you buy it for you or for him? I would save your sexy stuff for you in future and not bother with trying to please him.

If doesn't find you sexy as you are, he's not for you.
⬆️This

What a cunt!

Husbands are not famously tactful.

It always amuses me that men who say MNers are anti-men have such a low opinion of men themselves.

He said you needed to make the lacy outfit more sexy or be more sexy in general. I don’t understand which.

I don’t see how you can do the former unless he’s insinuating your body is the issue. If it is the latter he shouldn’t dictate this to you. Either way he has been very rude and owes you an apology.

He sounds vile.
I'll never understand women who wear 'sexy' lingerie to please their men.

you should wear the sexy stuff for yourself, if your partner likes it that is an added bonus, if not, well so what, it makes you happy.

@ladyflop well, some people find that dressing up in designated 'sexy' clothes makes them feel sexier. And some people in happy relationships like to do stuff that their partner finds sexy, because they love the partner and the partner is also willing to do nice things for them.

No one should feel they 'have' to wear lingerie/rubber/leather trousers if they don't want to, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

A poster has said "It always amuses me that men who say MNers are anti-men have such a low opinion of men themselves."
It should not be "amusing", just realistic.
Most of us men know that we are not perfect. Many of us try to improve.

You mean XDP surely?

You the fuck does he think he is?

What an absolute tool