Do I tell my partner I cheated?

[melliana]

DP and I have been up and down in our relationship but haven't felt like it's been working for months. I asked him to move out temporarily a few weeks ago and he's staying at his parents. I haven't known if I wanted to be together anymore and have felt so lost. I had one too many on Saturday and kissed a man I have history with. I've felt guilty all week, there's a chance DP could find out anyway which would be worse. The man in question is someone DP requested me to not have contact with after my history with him, possibly the worst person for this to have happened with. I'm completely ready to be slated as I know it was completely my fault and I was pathetic to not have ended anything before this happened. I fear his reaction if he finds out. I'm still not even sure if I want to be apart but obviously he deserves to know - and he will want to be apart at that point. If he finds out, I know he's going to take TV from the family home and my phone that he bought me too.

I didn't know being drunk is a get-out-of-jail-free card?! Bingo, that's how to get away with infidelity. Genius.

The TV and phone don't matter!

You've cheated, yes he's not living with you right now but you've not actually broken up. You cheated with the man that he was worried about, so he wasn't wrong to worry about that at all, he was right to be worried.

This relationship is dead and over. If you really want to give it a go, you have to be honest with him and let him decide whether he wants to continue.

Is this genuine??

You’re arsed about the TV and phone? Seriously?

TotesEmoshTerri

If you were drunk you can't be held responsible for this.

Do men also get this free pass?

The minute you're more worried about a TV and phone than your partner's feelings is the minute you should have realised it's over.

^This.

*If you were drunk you can't be held responsible for this.

Do men also get this free pass?*

Men are the ones who are the persuer in most of these cases so it's a bit different. But no, if you're drunk you can't consent to the kissing even if at the time you go along with it

If it was a one time thing and you were committed to the relationship, then telling him about a kiss might just be cruel. It gives you a chance to feel better and there is really no plus for him.

If you had done something that risked STDs, then absolutely you would need to tell him before resuming a physical relationship.

Regardless, it doesn’t sound like you are committed. Telling him you kissed someone will either do nothing or hurt him. If you are interested in a positive co-parenting relationship, start acting like a mature adult. Make a clean break and focus on your custody arrangement.

Oh fuck off with that bullshit a lot of the time people know full well what they’re doing when they’re drunk - they use it as an excuse. They might be a little more relaxed with the decision making but it seems to me like she consented to the kiss?

Can we stop acting like all women are fragile human beings that can’t be held responsible for their actions

Well he could take the TV but the phone was a gift to you and therefore your property. So leave the TV outside and say goodbye to him.

When you say he'll take the TV from the family home does that mean there are DCs living there? Bit shit of him to confiscate telly if there are.

@SpamChaudFroid yes, there is - and that's my point. Not just it's a bit shit that I can't watch TV.

Oh it’s your first ever post.. what a surprise (we really need need a good eye roll emoji)

So you're worried about him taking the TV away from your child?
Your relationship is over. End it properly. If he takes the TV away from your children, then that's spiteful and shit towards them and you're probably well shot of each other.
You don't love him or want to be with him. If you did, you wouldn't be confused about it.

Don't worry op....tv's are pretty cheap nowadays. It will be fine.

Like your username OP lol

Exactly formerbabe. Snot that bad.

If you were drunk you can't be held responsible for this.

...is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

What if he was more drunk? Did the OP take advantage?

TVs are so disposable now they give second hands ones away for free on free-cycle. You just have to pick it up.

@totesemosh - are you drunk writing this?!?! I’ve happily consented while pissed to many a snog in my youth. I think you’re (rather dangerously and irresponsibly) suggesting that women are not responsible after a few drinks. They can (and very often) say no to men when drunk , however, men can take advantage leading to assault or worse.

If a woman can’t speak as she’s so pissed, then of course, any action by the man is inappropriate

Unless he’s also equally pissed surely?