DH away and likely to miss birth...

[Afernandezx]

After years of TTC and failed fertility treatment, I have found out that by some
miracle we are pregnant.... conceived naturally after we had given up all hope and stopped “trying”. Wonderful news and couldn’t be more shocked, amazed and excited. It turns out though that my due date falls very close to DH being out of the country (Australia) for work purposes which cannot be cancelled or rearranged. He’s away for 10 days and my due date is 3 days after he lands back in the UK. Being my first pregnancy, I have no idea whether I’m likely to be early/late etc, but I have to accept that there is a possibility that he may miss the birth.
Because we have desperately wanted this pregnancy for so long, I feel terribly guilty that the thought of potentially doing this without DH fills me with dread. I can’t imagine him not being there and I'm so worried that their bond may be affected in the long run. I’m trying my best to be positive and not let this issue cloud this amazing news. I’d be really grateful if any one else whose DH/DP missed the birth could share their experience. Thank you

The general rule is pfb are late!

Their "bond" will not be affected. Not even a little bit.

To be fair, if he broke his leg the trip would be rearranged. If your baby came early he would be on paternity leave when the trip should happen. If he can’t be there you will be fine but I would expect him to try everything possible to be at home first.

It’s not ideal and not what you would want but (and I don’t want to sound harsh) it’s a long way off and there’s nothing you can do. Your DH can come to scans and chat to the bump etc. You can video the birth if he misses it and he will have the rest of DCs life to bond. It’ll be fine! Congratulations

Congratulations!
It's fairly unlikely that he'll miss it but I suppose you'll just have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Do you have someone else you trust who can be with you for the birth?

I really don't think the dad has to be at the birth to be able to bond with the baby. Worst case scenario is he meets the baby when it is a few days old. They can then spend as much time together as they want. It will make no difference to any bonding .

The main thing is that you have a designated substitute supportive birth partner just in case he is away at the time.

The chances of baby being born on your due date are like 15% or something. It's an estimate. Most fb are late by several days. You should be fine.

Also the posts on AIBU are bizarre recently. Very few original rants and mostly posts fishing for 'experiences' 🤔🙄

It’s unlikely he’ll miss it, but if he does their bond will not be affected in any way. The baby is attached to its primary caregiver (I.e. you) for a while.
Obviously it’s not ideal and you’d prefer him to be there, but it won’t affect their relationship in any way.

When I was born in the 60s it was pretty normal for dad's not to be at the birth. Mine wasn't at my birth and we have a great relationship. Bonding doesn't happen at birth. It takes time to develop. Don't worry about this and just enjoy your pregnancy.

I'd be disappointed too. You will just have to have a plan for going into labour without him. I don't think it'll affect the bond but make sure he has plenty of time with the baby when he returns.

Being there at the birth has no effect whatsoever on the bond! It's common for the first to be late, but just in case, you need to make plans and get a birth partner - a close family member, a doula, someone to be around.
That said, midwives tend to be more attentive for mothers who are on their own (often the case when you already have children and the father is staying with them!), but it's reassuring to have a close person.

Birth plans rarely work out the way you planned them, so you can hope for something but be prepared for anything. I wouldn't want anyone non-medically needed to be at the bottom end of a birth, there's nothing interesting to see down there.

Thank you everyone, your responses are reassuring :). I am close to my mum and sister, so would ask them to be at the birth in DH’s absence if I really needed to.