to think that if a couple announce a wedding date then they are engaged?

[LadyinLavende]

My nephew and his girlfriend who have been together six months announced at Christmas that they intend to marry in 2020.

So when I refered to the future bride to my DP I used the word "fiancée".... but he took issue with it.
I thought that's what fiancé(e) meant? Someone who has agreed to marry their partner at a future date which may or may not yet be known.
What does the MN jury think?
Am I just being old fashioned?
Does it only become an engagement if a ring is worn? (Haven't seen them since so have no idea if there is one.)

@PsychedelicSheep

It's not poncy in France... which is where we and they are!

She's 26 and he is a couple of years older: both working and already living together.

Reminds me of a cartoon in my school French school book.
The girl was saying "Now that we're engaged, should we call each other 'tu'?"

I’m with you - to me, DP and I got engaged about 3 years ago when we decided we would get married, maybe in 2019 or 2020. I got my engagement ring two months ago and to the rest of the world, that is when we became engaged. So I feel a bit silly that a whole lot of people sent us cards just because he bought me a nice diamond ring. That’s the only thing that demonstrably changed in our situation

I don't like the word fiance. It is used as a fake title in an attempt to add to the social status of the relationship.

There is a difference between an aspiration to get married and planning a wedding. People often discuss outlook on life and views on marriage and if they both want to marry at some point and they are together, it can lead into the conversation about when.

I don't think you need a ring but you do need a proper proposal. "Can you see us getting married?" "Yes" "When?" "In a couple of years" is different to "Will you marry me?" "Yes".

I have vague plans for 2020 including moving house but until I list my property on the market, it is an aspiration rather than a firm plan.

Unless they have set an actual date and booked a venue, they haven't really planned anything. Unless there has been a proper proposal (usually with a ring) I would not consider them engaged. Though it is odd to announce to to family without that.

Wine bottle - taking your point on board, however as it happens my new fiances dad has been “engaged”, including the diamond ring and proposal and all that jazz, for 15 years with zero intention of ever actually getting married. So it can cut both ways. DP and I had already worked out lists of potential venues plus the guest list so we got further than STBFiL ever did