To have such horrible thoughts?

[bottol]

I have a DP and 1 DC. I am currently having some space from DP and he's temporarily moved out due to bickering, him being a bit over jealous, and me being snappy all of the time.
We are never intimate anymore. He really wants to be but we went from 100-0. I looked into so many options - hormonal problems, iron deficiencies etc... but I've kind of come to the conclusion that the sexual attraction just isn't there anymore.
I love him but I don't think I'm in love with him. I don't want to lose our little family set up but I feel like I can't see me settling like this for the foreseeable future.
I just keep thinking about how much I'd want to go out and just hook up with someone. It's such a horrible thought and something I wouldn't act on and it's making me feel so guilty because I do love him but it's something I can't shake.

Does this sound like it should be a definitive break up?

Sounds like it should be, not for the hook up thoughts, but for the arguments and lack of desire OP.

Either that or get some counselling, maybe try dating each other to see if anything can be rekindled.

@IamFrauBlucher thanks for replying

Separate your idea of a little family unit for one minute.
Can you see him being part of your daily life for the next 40 years?
If yes and the idea thrills you, stay with it.
If you can but on mates terms and co parents, the time has come.
You will always be a unit but not necessarily together.

@Jamiefraserskilt I don't think I can unfortunately. I feel so horrific saying it but I don't think our family unit is enough, our relationship isn't enough sometimes and I have started seeing it as more as a friendship.

How long have you been together and how long has your rough patch been? I don’t want to patronise but relationships do go up and down, even the most together couples hit problems now and then. None of us are the same people we were ten years ago and we all continue to change with time. Sometimes we truely can’t live with who people become or them us but sometimes it’s driven by a refusal to accept change. I know some people will say it shouldn’t ever be hard but I believe that’s not true for personality type. Sometimes it is hard for no real discernible reason but calling it off isn’t the answer 100% of the time.

Seriously consider your problems and be honest with yourself about your contributions to them whether by action or emotion. If you can see no solution and/or your partner isn’t committed to resolving the issues then you may sadly be at the end of your time together.

A bit of time apart could do you good. How long has he been out of the house? Use it as an opportunity to date again. Id say spend some time seeing if you can mend and rekindle the relationship first.
Iv felt like this about oh but then the thought of actually losing him hurts and we get back on track eventually. Life is so long that a bad year or so is a drop in the ocean. If you try, set a time limit on a decision if that makes you feel better.