To be a complete bore at this party?

[partypoopers]

I’ve been invited to a birthday party in a couple of weeks, hosted by a couple of friends. Parties organised by these friends happen every few months and I always attend. They’re extremely alcohol fuelled, the sort where no one leaves sober. The friends don’t live nearby so I have to get a taxi there and back which is about £30 total, and I spend the next day completely hungover which feels like a waste of a day when I work full time all week. If I don’t go, I’ll be whinged at and made to feel bad especially when I’ve said all along I will be going, if I go and don’t drink or only drink a little bit, I’ll be teased about being a bore and drinks will be poured for me and thrust into my hand. I’m in a new relationship and the invitation has been extended to my partner – partner has never seen me drunk/hungover before and is also very introverted and think this party will be their idea of hell. I could go by myself but then I’d feel bad for leaving partner out of it, and it rules out us spending time together over the weekend. My ideal scenario would be to go along for a couple of hours, couple of drinks and then head home and still enjoy the next day – but I know this wouldn’t happen! Am I being a total bore?

You are a grown up - ignore the peer pressure!

I would make an excuse (migraine?) and not go. People who drink always get funny about non drinkers and you will end up getting pressured into staying later than you want to or drinking more than you want to

I wouldn't go. They sound insufferable.

You know for a fact that going and just having a couple of drinks just won't happen OP. You either go and not drink or you don't go.

I'd recommend not drinking tbh, I do the designated driver thing now and I still have a laugh and the added waking up fresh the next day bonus.

But a couple of drinks and then leaving? Nope, you know that won't happen.

Fuck that - I wouldn't socialise with people who are so immature.

Why would you want to spend time with people who have no respect for your wishes? If I couldn't be myself with my friends then I wouldn't be spending time with them.

As harsh as it is, I'd just tell them I won't be there. I've stopped socialising with people like this and the pressure relief is immense when you finally stand up for what you want to do.

My particular group of friends thought I was weird and made me feel like I was. Sort of how you're feeling now about this party. They're not worth it.

You can always use the dry January excuse and if they pester hit them up for sponsorship money :)

When I was pregnant (and not drinking obviously but didn't want to say why) I said I was on antibiotics. Really though you shouldn't have to lie. Could you not drive there then have no choice but not to drink?

Why won’t it happen? Can you not control your drinking? If it’s just peer pressure then resist it.

There are plenty of reasons someone might not want to drink, personal choice, antibiotics, pregnancy etc. If they can’t respect that then they're idiots.