To not want my 14 year old stay home alone till all hours of the morning

[Cadburyssurpriseegg]

ds went to his cousins house (14 and 7). They and sis in law asked about a hundered times if ds can stay over. I said ok . I then find out around 12 am that sis in law and her husband have buggared off somewhere and left them home alone. Till now they’re not home. She’s not answering my messages and she doesn’t pick up either.
aibu to be pissed off about this ? I mean 14 is still too young to be left alone at this time isn’t it ?

Is there a 7 year old left alone too? Surely they are just sleeping. Where would they go at 12 at night? I would go to their house.

I would go round to be honest. I wouldn't necessarily say 14 is too young to be left alone (some 14 year olds would be totally fine), but it's too young to be the sole charge of a 7 year old overnight.

Is your son babysitting or was this a sleepover?

Nope. I'd be round there. The 14 year old is ok for a few hours. But they have left no abandoned a 7 year old .

Yes. It’s the 7 year old and his 14 year old brother and my ds whose also 14. They’ve apparently gone to a family members house. I have a very sick dd. Can’t leave her right now to go pick him up. I’m such an idiot for agreeing to let him have a sleep over.

Not without a babysitter

Are they not all in bed?
Am I right in thinking that your 14yr old is staying with family?

They’re all still up watching tv.
Yes ds is staying over with his cousins ( my dh sister ).
There is no adult to monitor anything ( I trust ds but still).

I would imagine that at 14 DS is able to look after himself overnight in a family home, so don’t worry!
But where the hell are the parents?
Nearly 3.30 am and they’re watching tv unsupervised?
Not good

Ds is a good boy and is totally able to look after himself. But the parents leaving them like that to go visit someone at ridiculous o’clock is what’s getting to me. I would never do this to anyone. If anything happened to the 7 year old ( he’s a very active and not very well behaved child when home ) ds would be very upset. It’s a huge responsibility imo.

at 14 i was regularly babysitting children much younger than 7 and was totally fine. i think you're over reacting a little bit.

do you think hes safe.
why are they at family members at this time,was someone ill or are they just having fun?
tbh honest you don't think that's right so that's all that matters.
but try not to worry.i think at 14 he will be fine.so try not to tell yourself sotries of what ifs and get frightened by it.
maybe ring him and tell him you want them al to get to bed now.he should still isten to this right?
then talk it through with a calm a head as you can with them tomoror.get all the facts then act accordingly.youve a right to be angry if you think this is wrong.and they should have check perhaps anyways.or told you as I assume they new they were going out when they asked you if he could stay.

I guess I’m annoyed most they didn’t keep me informed that they were going to be gone so late.
They’re not with anyone sick just a visit. They have tendency to stay out late and my family don’t. Her dc sleep way past midnight , even the 7 year old. So I know our lifestyles are completely different.

Thank you for all your replies.

I was doing overnight babysitting of even younger children at this age so I don't think it's too young.

BUT they've not been honest that's why they wanted him over, they've not checked if it's ok with him and you, I'm guessing they're not paying him! And they should be contactable - for all they know there's an emergency!

So on that basis they're well out of order!

I'd be going through them soon as you get hold of them!

I certainly wouldn't be happy to have a 14yo home alone past, say, 10pm, and definitely not in charge of a younger child at 3am. Even if asleep.

Not in any way, shape or form acceptable.

DS 14 babysits for DD 5, latest we've been home is midnight because we're saddos who don't like going out but he's more than capable of being in charge of his sister.

I'm

My DS(14) stays at home alone sometimes (never overnight) and is completely comfortable and safe doing this. I would not leave him and his friend (also 14 but much younger characteristically) without discussing it with his parents as he's their son and I wouldn't take that choice away from them.

I would feel uncomfortable if my son went over to one of his friend's houses and the parents left them alone without my knowledge.

But they weren’t home alone. There were two 14yo there with the 7yo. As long as they are sensible teenagers I can’t see any problem.

I would be fuming that they clearly had used my child as a babysitter! I would be asking them to pay him and that would be last time he went round.

I'd be cross my 14 year old was put in that position. They are crafty, those parents. I expect they thought your sensible 14 year old would be an asset in the situation. Free too.

I would be raging. Not their decision whether your child should be left.
If something happened to 7yr old-unlikely, granted- then ds would be held responsible.

They just wanted childcare for 7yr old and thought two 14yr olds would be better than one.

Totally irresponsible!
Do they do this often??

The 14 year olds should have been fine, and should have gone to bed. Leaving the 7 yr old is well out of order.