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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Early maternity/baby go to work?

46 replies

wrex898 · 02/01/2019 20:54

I found out this morning I may have to have my baby (due early March) early - I'm being monitored but have been told 6 weeks early is highly likely and it could be as soon as next week.

I'm due to start maternity leave at the beginning of Feb and this takes me before beginning of leave if baby is born. I told my boss about it today and I'm responsible for completing a big project that if I do go on Mat early will have to be completed by someone else.

My boss has said if I go early I may have to go into work (for the FOUR weeks following birth to hand over/consult on the project.

Is this viable - and is it completely unreasonable to be asked. I like my job but going in with a newborn doesn't sound like fun to me....

OP posts:

Heatherjayne1972 · 02/01/2019 20:56

You’re not allowed to work for two weeks following birth. You probably won’t wan to anyway

Think your boss is skating on this ice here

Dorabean · 02/01/2019 20:57

Isn't there some sort of rule(?) that says you can't work for the first 4 weeks after giving birth?

I think it's unreasonable of your boss to expect this! Not your fault baby may be early! Hope everything is ok OP

KentUnicorn · 02/01/2019 20:58

That is completely unreasonable to ask that of you! By law you have to have the first 2 weeks off work after the birth. After that you can only have a maximum of 10 KIT days paid during mat leave.
Those are precious weeks you will want to spend with your new baby. Your boss will just have to work it out another way.

KindergartenKop · 02/01/2019 20:58

With a full term newborn I'd say it would be tricky and try to avoid it. With a premature baby I'd say no. They really can't make you!

LIZS · 02/01/2019 20:58

No, you can be signed off now and start ml early. However it may be better to plan to use any accrued AL now and agree dates asap on which you can handover then maternity leave. While on ML you can only work a maximum number of KIT days before losing maternity pay.

FrazzyAndFrumpled · 02/01/2019 21:00

Definitely not, that’s shocking! Speak to HR and/or your union.

I hope all goes well for you and baby

Original poster

wrex898 · 02/01/2019 21:02

I've been on the project for around 10 months and I actually think she was annoyed when I said I was pregnant because she realised it came close to the handover date. I work for a big company so it's not a resourcing issue - I've said I can be at the other end of an email...

She's basically just said I can bring the baby because 'everyone would love to see them' but all thats left in the project is agreeing with stakeholders - none of the technical legwork.

OP posts:

reluctantbrit · 02/01/2019 21:03

Your baby will be in the neonatal unit for several weeks, my friend’s DS was born 9 weeks early and spent 6 weeks in an incubator. She was in and out all the time to feed, pump, bond, learn to care for him.

I very much doubt you are able to do anything.

Speak to your HR department urgently.

Blueroses99 · 02/01/2019 21:04

Completely unreasonable.

By law you can’t work 2 weeks after giving birth (or 4 weeks if working in a factory).

You can only work 10 keeping in touch (KIT) days in your entire maternity leave, otherwise your maternity leave officially ends.

If your baby is born early, s/he may need to be in NICU/ special care - are you sure you could leave their side (I didn’t, every day for 3 months). The time after birth is for you to recover and bond with your baby.

If you are on a 2-3 hour feed, wind, sleep routine, how are you going to get any work done? In the first 4 weeks of birth, no chance!

What your boss is suggesting is illegal and will have ramifications that you need to be aware of.

Merryoldgoat · 02/01/2019 21:04

You need to talk to HR ASAP - she can’t make you do that.

Original poster

wrex898 · 02/01/2019 21:07

My DD was born 4 weeks early and we left 2 days later so think I'm praying for the best...

She doesn't want me to come in for the full day - more like for set meetings. An hour here or there - I've been prepping my junior to take over talking with stakeholders for handover but I think my boss is just worried about the expertise level.

Really stressed about both baby and being hated/fired :(

OP posts:

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 02/01/2019 21:09

Does your boss have kids?! I don’t, but even so I can see that suggesting you bring a premature newborn to the office with you while you finish up your project is utter madness! Never mind illegal...

My friends and relatives who’ve had babies talk about not even being able to finish a cup of tea in those first weeks, let alone a work project.

Tell your boss she’s being ridiculous.

Really hope all goes well for you and baby, all the best

GoulashSoup · 02/01/2019 21:09

Actually really angry your boss has asked this of you. Is there someone in HR you can talk to?

As someone who had a baby before I had officially begun maternity leave, all you will want to do is focus on your baby once it is here. Even if your baby is a healthy 34-35 week old, they will be more vulnerable with premature lungs (even with steroids to mature them), and less fat reserves than a term baby. For these reasons I wouldn’t want to take a baby of that age and size out in the cold and mixing with lots of people unnecessarily. My 35 weeker was essentially healthy but still needed 10 days in SCBU and came home with a feeding tube. I’m not trying to scare you, just want to point out that your baby’s health and your own recovery must be your priority.

Sorry your work are not being more supportive.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 02/01/2019 21:11

Your boss is talking rubbish! If you work for a big organisation there will be a policy on maternal leave. Have a look at it or contact HR.

Blueroses99 · 02/01/2019 21:11

I’m surprised you have already had a baby and think it might be viable!

A KIT day is used up whether you are working for an hour or 8 hours.

Violetroselily · 02/01/2019 21:14

Mat leave will start as soon as the baby is born and you only get 10 paid KIT days - is she proposing you are available to work for free, or use all your KIT days at first?

Your boss is an idiot. You should speak to HR asap so that they are aware of what's being asked and can hopefully shut her down straight away.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 02/01/2019 21:16

I'd be more worried about my baby being 6 weeks early than work/project. This project will finish and it won't be given another thought. You need to be selfish. You won't be fired - your manager should have taken your maternity leave into consideration and not relied on you to deliver a so called important project.
My baby isn't due until 4th Feb and my manager pretty much wrote me off after Xmas, so I'm essentially just loitering about as I've handed everything over!

SpotlessMind · 02/01/2019 21:18

Your boss is being daft and unreasonable (and putting themselves in a very difficult position if you were to complain officially about this). Given that the project appears to be ending quite close to your mat leave, plus you have a history of delivering early, they were a bit daft not to have a contingency planned for this anyway. Don’t consider doing this, it hard enough to have a newborn without this on top - plan your handover and then concentrate on yourself and your baby. Good luck, hope all goes well.

seeingdots · 02/01/2019 21:45

This is an outrageous request on your boss' part. They cannot insist you work KIT days and can't dictate when you work them if you choose to. I would inform the boss that you'll do whatever possible to prep colleagues and handover materials etc but once on mat leave you are on leave. If there's any more said about it go to HR/union.

Neighneigh · 02/01/2019 21:49

Wow you shouldn't be under pressure to go to work. That's appalling and illegal isn't it? I'd have a look at Maternity Action's website and try to speak to them if you can. Best wishes www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/advice-line/

MeredithGrey1 · 02/01/2019 21:53

What a comedian your boss is.

I’d just say, I’m afraid that won’t be possible. And then speak to HR if she pushes it. She’s being completely absurd (and is probably totally unaware you cannot legally work for two weeks). I highly doubt anyone would hate you, with the exception of your boss I bet everyone you work with will be completely understanding when you miss a meeting several days after giving birth!

Sparky888 · 02/01/2019 21:53

Some bosses try anything to avoid them biting the bullet and sorting out cover for when you are not there. Just lay on your boss’ part. 2 weeks is illegal to work. After that you won’t know what sleep you’re getting, how/when you’re feeding, how you’re feeling. I love my job, but that sounds awful.

Gazelda · 02/01/2019 21:54

Your boss is being a twat. As I'm sure she will realise once she's had a chance to think about what she said.
No, it's not reasonable or viable. If possible, can you write up a strategy for how the project is to be finalised in the event of you starting your mat leave a Project End Date - 1 week, PED-2weeks, PED-3weeks etc? Demonstrate that it's all achievable, you've given clear handover notes, stakeholders are all on board etc. Don't be pressured into going in to work until you are ready for your mat leave to end (except KIT days which are convenient to you).

Chocolate85 · 02/01/2019 22:00

No way! Absolutely no chance I would be going into work two weeks after giving birth. Your manager is being ridiculous. Tell her that she is welcome to call you if need be but you won’t be coming into work with a two week old. I had c-sections so even walking was painful after two weeks.
I hope your labour goes smoothly and both you and your baby are well. Let work take a back seat.

SharkSave · 02/01/2019 22:04

Just to add (because you've had great advice already) DO NOT offer to be available via email. She sounds like a piss taker as it is so don't set yourself up to be contactable. You're potentially going to have a premature baby, they will need your focus

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