To feel anxiously broody at 32/33?

[Biologicalclocks]

I’m 33 this year, and have one teenage DC from a previous relationship when I was only a teen myself. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, he’s my age with no children. I’ve always been on the fence about more DC but since I’ve been with bf I am acutely aware of my age and have a feeling that if I don’t have a baby soon I’m going to feel too old or have problems. And I feel now that I would like another dc. Bf does want kids but says “in a few years” which I know is a sensible plan but my body is saying come the fuck on... I also don’t particularly want to be a new mum again beyond 35, but I can’t hurry the relationship either. It’s alroght for men they can wait til their 40s or even 50s to have children. Me and bf don’t even live together or anything yet, so I’m aware I am sounding a bit crazy but I can distinctly hear my biological clock. I’m not sure what my AIBU even is 🐓

YANBU. The longer you leave it, the fewer and fewer chances you have to conceive. But if he is not ready, you can't force him either.

You still have time. 32/33 is not really that old. Fertility declines gradually; it doesn't drop off a cliff at 35 or whatever age the headlines focus on.

Could you and your boyfriend move in together and see how that goes? Personally I think you should live with someone for at least a year before TTC.

I had my youngest at 38 if that helps. I was your age when I had my eldest

I would wait another year or two as you have only been with your bf for a year

Same happened to me.
I was thirty three and my clock was ticking so loud I dumped my ex because he was stalling over having kids
Met DH a year later and had two dc in my late thirties. Eventually. Took us three years to conceive our first.

There's no choice here for you to make - its only been a year and you don't live together, and he's not ready. All you can do is wait it out, and when you do live together and he is ready, see if you still want to do it.

The heart wants what it wants. Unfortunately, one cannot compromise on half a baby. You'll simply have to decide whether you would rather try your luck dating again or whether you'd be content with your choices if you stay with your boyfriend and time runs out before he agrees to TTC.

FWIW, no one can guarantee that you'll have another child with or without your current boyfriend, even if you started TTC now. If you're worried about declining fertility, you'll likely hit the menopause the same sort of age as your mom and grandmother did. That might help you calculate whether the time is on your side or not. x

I know I need to chill. It’s just hard to think whether if I ended things with boyfriend I’d find someone else again that quickly who’d like dc in 1-2 years.