To consider 'taking a break' from social media?

[Lifeonmars77]

Hi all

First post here and wanted some views/experiences of anyone who has taken a break from Facebook, Insta etc - or in fact decided to leave it behind altogether.

I suffer with anxiety and I'm starting to wonder whether social media is a factor in there somewhere. I mean apart from finding it slightly addictive and being glued to the phone (guilty!) the constant comparison to others and whether we should/could be living our lives in a certain way is possibly resulting in overthinking, anxious thoughts and not helping my cause.

If you've decided to ditch the social media (for whatever reason) I wondered if you'd mind sharing your experiences? Or am I being totally unreasonable to think it's contributing to my anxiety and overthinking the whole thing?!

I downloaded an app called Feedless and deleted the Facebook app. That way I can still go on Facebook on the web (to check my OU groups and individuals if I like - eg friend’s daughter who I know has had a baby - but I don’t have the newsfeed which I think is the really addictive part. I’m hardly on it now, but it’s handy to keep active.

I did it the other day - kept Twitter as I use it more to follow my sports team than anything else.

One friend messaged to ask why I had unfollowed him on IG, which made me realise how self-involved people can be.

I’ve not missed it so far, it feels quite freeing.

I take every January off and honestly I feel so much better for it. I’m no contact with my parents for good reasons but still FB friends with other family members and friends so my parents still pop up and I find that very hard sometimes especially when they’re all doing so well and gushing over someone’s update but never had a good word to say about me or my children. It was worse over Christmas and I felt quite depressed over it but have been off for two days now and feel SO much better. I am thinking I might stay off for more than a month.

This is quite odd unless you're a journalist?

Who joins a social media site to ask whether they should consider taking a break from other social media sites?

Why not ask on FB and Instagram?

Do it, take a break.
I have FB only for DC class and activity groups, but don’t put ANY friends on, and I don’t let FB access my contacts. It is great. I Skype my mum and my db (abroad) when I want, sms my friends, or talk over coffee. Peaceful.

I deactivated mine yesterday and it feels great. No more will I waste time reading other people's crap and feeling as though I have to like stuff. The people who I really care about will still be in contact in other ways so that's all that matters to me.

@WorraLiberty A journalist?? Thankfully I'm not, I couldn't think of anything worse.

Firstly, whilst you could argue that MN is a form of social media, personally I don't put an anonymous forum in the same pot as the likes of FB, Insta, Twitter etc, but each to their own opinion.

I have discussed this topic with people IRL too, but thought it helpful to get an impartial, balanced view from people who don't know me and have possibly had similar experiences.

In answer to your question about why not ask on FB and Instagram? Well considering they are the ones I'm mainly referring to, I'm not going to find people who have deactivated them on there am I?

Appreciate your view though.

Just broken my own (new) rule - was looking at a post on the class fb group and scrolled down, saw a post that made me feel really shit and left out. So that confirms my decision.

Can I keep messenger on my phone if I delete the fb app?

@beela yes you can, I have. Deactivate your FB account but messenger remains. I got a message from a FB friend just last night.

I have deleted Facebook account , twitter, instagram. If you have any sort of anxirty, depression Facebook will make it worse. It can also cause family upsets as can Whatsapp Family groups. Pick up the phone and talk to people, email photos to family. Honestly its great. Just need to ditch MN now. would have more free time

I stopped using FB years ago, during a difficult period, where it seemed that every post was either a boast or a bitch about something, or a thinly veiled passive aggressive demand for attention. I never felt better.
Nowadays I use it for info groups, the messenger app for absent friends who can actually be bothered conversing rather than posting and expecting you to follow and read everything, and use instagram in the same way. It took a bit of practice using it without getting drawn in to friends feeds, but as happened to pp, that just made me feel anxious and depressed about my own life circumstances again, so I stopped. I think I use social media in a much more positive way now.

@CarolDanvers thank you.... Fb deleted from my phone. I feel better already 👍

I am quite confident it contributes to my anxiety. i too often feel inferior in comparison to others "filtered" versions of their lives. But I can't "take the break" from it because I do enjoy many aspects of it too so I am trying to find a bit of a balance. i remember going for a long weekend away a coupl of years back with awful internet so I went about 4 days without any social media and it was honestly great! So relaxed, enjoying the moment and actually didn't miss it...but as soon I got the signal back on the way home I was scroll scroll scrolling to see what I had missed! It has its plus points but it can be very damaging IMO!

I deleted it permanently and did worry if i would miss out with family and friends but we Whatsapp instead.I don't miss it at all, in fact I feel so much freer.I do think that Facebook has a dark side.
Now the only problem is staying off Mumsnet 😉😃

Also it is lovely to get my head out of the virtual world and into the real one.!! I too would scroll down my FB feed and find awful, haunting stories of animal cruelty that upset me for days.Nope , don't regret it one bit

I ditched Facebook, or fakebook I call it about 3-4 years ago. It's such bollocks. I don't miss it at all.

I've never had instagram, twitter or anything else.

Social media, especially facebook is damaging. I have stopped going onto it altogether after I realised that all it did was make me feel shit about myself. Why wasn't I invited to that party/dinner/drinks night, why don't we have such luxurious holidays, how is it that everyone always looks immaculate (albeit completely different to the way they look in RL). Now I don't go on it and feel far better.

My friend argues very strongly that those who don't use it feel insecure about themselves. Now that I am removed from it I actually think its the reverse and that those who use it need the constant validation from others.

I think you're right cloudtree.

It's all fakery. A friend of mine was always all over fb about her perfect husband/family life/holidays/money. Then she found out her husband was shagging his work colleague and left her. Ever since it was post after post about what a cunt he had been throughout their entire relationship. So everything before had been a lie.

I once had a friend sent me a whatsapp message on my birthday saying they wanted to wish me a happy birthday but they couldn't because I didn't have fb. WTF they were messaging me to say this! bizarre.
But ya know it doesn't count unless it's publicly on fb.

I don't get people that live by fb. Switch it off and just live your life and enjoy it.

I deactivated Facebook n August 2017 logged back on in December 2018 it had been well over a year realised why I deactivated in 2017 after seeing same old posts from same people all about how fantastic life is kids holidays etc totally fake so deactivated again. You can keep.in touch with people on WhatsApp much easier. I do have instagram but only very close friends on there certainly not the number I had on Facebook who were just aquaintances not friends

It’s fine to delete FB if you want to.

I know someone who has and it’s fine except she keeps asking me to email photos. I use FB as a place to share photos so that’s a bit annoying.

Thanks for all your responses, definitely some food for thought here. Rather than go cold turkey (yet!) I have deleted Instagram (never really used it that much anyway) and change the way I use FB for now. I've deleted/unfollowed lots of people, left most groups, locked down my privacy settings, turned off notifications and put the app away in a folder.

I feel better already but I'm reluctant to delete it altogether as it is a convenient way to share info/pics with people back home. Having said that, it does make me wonder if I stopped sharing how many of them would bother getting in touch or come to visit - I moved 18 months ago and my own mum has only visited twice, the rest of the family have never been! But that's a whole other issue

I have found the work of Jaron Lanier to be very helpful in this area

I can never understand why people need to ask, or worse (and my pet hate), announce that they are quitting SM. Just do it,and if you feel better in yourself stay off it, or if you get bored you can always come back. No biggie.

@NutElla5x You're right, it is no biggie really and there shouldn't be a need to ask... that's anxiety for you

Would NEVER consider announcing it though - makes me shudder every time I see someone do it!