To not attend my friend's hen weekend?

[singingpinkmonkey]

My dear friend of mine is having her hen do in May. I was invited last summer and of course said yes and paid the £150 deposit.

Since then, my circumstances have changed with my partner having to close his business and we are living on just my wage while he re-trains. We are doing ok but things are definitely tighter and we've both had to cut back on spending.

So far, the money I have paid for the hen weekend only covers the accommodation. I have been looking at train fares and it's going to cost at least £120.00 and there are extra activities TBC that will need to be paid for in advance. I don't begrudge this at all and would be happy to pay if circumstances were different but I just don't think I can afford it. I have two weddings to attend shortly after.

I feel awful as I don't want to let her down but would aibu to withdraw myself from attending the hen and offer to do something nice with her separately from this?

She is a lovely person so I think she would understand. I just hate letting people down.

You are not letting her down. You cannot afford to go because circumstances have changed.

Talk to your friend. Once she has accepted the situstion you might find are gas someone else she could invite so you get yoir deposits back but I wouldn't ask her straight away, if at all.

Then talk to the hotel, deposits are normally non-refundable but they might be able to re-sell the room. Were you going to share with anyone?

If I was your friend, I would completely understand, OP.

Thank you for your kind responses. I am probably being silly. I would just hate it if she felt that I didn't think she was worth effort. She definitely is. Unfortunately I just can't justify the financial cost.
I will make it up to her!

I would totally understand if it was me. In all honesty I wouldn't want a Hen Do that expensive to alienate any of my friends - I am sure she will be fine.