To feel like this turning 40

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I turn 40 at the end of the month.

I know that rationally I'll be just a day/ year older than I was, and that 40 isn't 'old' anyway, but it feels like a big deal and I think I'm having a bit of a mid life crisis.

Inside I still feel 16, and sometimes it takes my breath away to think about how quickly the years have passed and how quickly the next stage of my life will pass too. There's so much I haven't done, so much I still want to do but am not yet in a position to do.

I'm not an anxious person, I'm pretty laid back but lately I'm thinking more and more about "what next?" I have a good job, great dh, lovely kids (2 and 8yo) etc and I wouldn't change any of that for the world - my 30s have been wonderful and in life I'm very fortunate - really, nothing of any substance to complain about. But yet I feel like I haven't done anything particularly special with my life, haven't achieved much for the 'greater good'. And time is slipping by.

I said to dh last night, in tears, "But I remember my mum turning 40 and now she's over 70 and age is catching up with her." (She's in good health and has a very young outlook, but still, you notice things). Suddenly my own parents no longer seem super human or able to cheat the ageing process. I worry about them. And I can't help but think: "That'll be me in just a little more than the time I've had since I graduated from university!" Age has never really bothered me before, but I'm feeling quite upset by this milestone.

Is this normal? Is there anything I can do about it that doesn't involve buying a fast car and travelling the world, leaving my dh and dc behind? Or do I just have to accept it for what it is - getting older?

It's normal. I felt glum turning 40 and then perfectly fine turning 41. I think milestones inevitably cause you to think.

Yes, absolutely normal and I have no advice to give really except to say I felt exactly the same.
Turning 40 was awful.
I’m 3 years down the line now and the feelings haven’t gone away entirely but I have tried to put some small changes in place - I took up a new hobby, accepted a promotion at work, started running and lost some weight. None of them are going to set the world on fire but at least I feel a bit more in control of my own destiny.

Completely normal, even if, like me, you looked forward to 40

I have to say being 40 rocked. 41 now and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. ;)

Getting older is better than the alternative.

This blog is a useful prompt if you want to evaluate what’s important to you: markmccourt.blogspot.com/2018/12/five-ways-to-spend-time-while-dying.html

I turned 50 last year and feel and look better than at 40 when I was overweight and my son turned 21. I actually cried on my 40th.
10 years later I don't notice my age,Am slim and fit and have time for me again
Its just a number. You'll be No different to when you were 39. Happy birthday x

mamaduckbone that's interesting about making small changes. I want to exercise more and eat less. I've also emailed my boss today to say that I'd like to request dropping down to 4 days a week from the end of this year. In the short term I want to spend more time with my children, but when they're both at school I want to use that time to study with a view to being able to do something different either in my spare time or when I get too old for my current career (it's a younger person's career). I'd quite like to do something in the areas I'm passionate about - equality, helping disadvantaged young people or older people.

Yes my issue was that I remembered my mum being 40 too. But she was 68 when I was turning 40 and said she still felt 25. I hated turning 40, i was in such a slump about it but actually my 40's have been fantastic. I have a new confidence, i don't know where it came from or that it was needed but my 40 something friends all agree. Once you get used to the new decade it is great. I am now closer to 50 and excited rather than depressed by that. Can't stop time so might as well embrace it!

I turned 40 last year. I was very mindful that I wanted to feel good on my birthday and so I made an effort to be fitter and stronger for 6 months before so I didn't feel or act 40, I guess. I love what going to the gym has done for my body and certainly feel better than I did when I turned 30 (I'd just had ds1). It is just a number and there is so much scope for fun and opportunity to come for you.

Thank you noblegiraffe - a very sobering perspective. I suppose we can sometimes focus so heavily on dying that we forget to live.