To give DH time limit to decide on ttc second child?

[mousepadpen]

We have a wonderful 14 month old. He was a pretty high needs baby and is a full on toddler and this put pressure on us both. I have always wanted more than one (but currently go through constant cold feet, will it harm my first to have another? Will he be put out by a new baby? Is it too much pressure on our relationship? Will broth be as awful?).

DH wanted two before but since we've had DC he says he would be equally happy with one.

We would have to ttc soon (within this month/maybe next) to avoid them having the same birthday and then wait if not so we didn't have a Christmas baby.

I can't decide if I'm ready but I think I am.

Wibu to tell DH I want to know when he wants to try and I need a (rough) date?

Sorry for long post

Unless you have age constraints that make ttc quickly a necessity I would take the pressure off both of you and just put it on the backburner for now. Why the rush? Your older DC is only 14 months and having them close together has its advantages, but it is more exhausting initially. Why not take it off the agenda until you both feel either more ready or you've both had the space to decide that actually, one is enough?

Is there a reason for the rush ?
I'm due my second and have always wanted a second, but my DD is 4. Why does it have to be now >?

So basically you need him to make a decision over the next week or so? why now? Why not wait a year? Or stop being so fixated on when their birthday would be...

Why the concern about when birthdays fall? I genuinely don't understand.

I think you sound ridiculous TBH

This ^^

Honestly don't worry about the birthday thing. That's just daft. I would wait 12 months and then decide personally.

Thanks so much @QueenofmyPrinces it's so good to hear your experience and I really appreciate it x

Re the time limit. It's not me who's set it really. He's older than me, both of us are in our 30's (me early, him late) and although I don't want to be pregnant/have a newborn in my mid/late 30's, DH is the one who has said he doesn't want to be much older as he doesn't want to be in his 40's with a little baby, then retiring etc all pushed back.

Thanks for the advice. I don't know why I feel like I want to rush into it. I do feel like I do
Although it does sound almost impossibly hard!

My dc is 4yo. It's taken me this long to feel like I'm ready to have another (and to afford another!) ... maybe have a serious conversation with him about it, but don't rush / push ultimatums. Your DC is still very little.

I don't think it's fair to rush him but even if he decided today that he did want to start ttc you're not guaranteed to conceive in the coming few so might end up waiting anyway if the due date is important to you.

I have the same birthday as my sister (2 years apart). It's not a thing to avoid.